Truth or Dare
by UNseated4TH
Summary: The original Ouran T or D. Truth or dare people from OHSHC through your reviews! Anything and everything accepted! Read and review NOW! I don't own Ouran.
1. The Game Begins

**_CHARLIECHICK NOTE: I don't own Ouran, it belongs to Hatori Bisco_**

**HOST CLUB TRUTH OR DARE**

**FIRST INSTALMENT - THE GAME BEGINS...**

**Kris:** Hello and welcome to the very first Host Club Truth or Dare! In which you, my wonderful reviewers - yes, you sitting there reading these words on your computer screen - can review and questions or dares in for ANY character in OHSHC!

**Kyoya:** Why did I agree to do this?

**Kris:** Because if you don't, Razz will poke you to death.

**Razz:** _(grins evilly)_

**Tamaki:** _(looks around)_ What is this anyway?

**Kris:** The school library

**Kyoya:** A commoner school…

**Twins:** Its tiny! _(sneak around the shelves, jump on the stuffed bookworm and bother some students)_

**Hunny:** Yay! I love these games!

**Haruhi:** I don't

**Kris:** Sorry Haruhi, but it's not up to you. You see, I am the fanfic writer, and you are a character. You are under my control.

**Haruhi:** _(mumbles something about the supermarket and a sale)_

**Twins:** Haruhi! Make us some peasant's coffee!

**Haruhi:** (_stumbles off to the kitchen)_

**Tamaki:** Ask me something!

**Kris:** This is the first chapter; there are no reviewers who have asked anything yet.

**Jaki:** '...first…chapter…'

**Kris:** Must you always read what I have just written?

**Jaki:** …

**Kris:** You do it all the time!

**Razz:** It's true. She reads my writing too.

**Kyoya:** Are we supposed to be doing something?

**Kris:** Yes! The truth or dare! Since we have no reviewers, I'll leave it to Razz and Jaki for this first instalment. Jaki?

**Jaki:** Haruhi walk through your school in the girl uniform.

**Haruhi:** _(voice coming from the kitchen)_ WHAT?!

**Tamaki:** But Haruhi's secret might be revealed!

**Renge:** What secret?

**Host Club:** Nothing!

_Haruhi is dressed by the enthusiastic twins. She grudgingly walks through the school, Tamaki watching her every move._

**Random girl in the hallway:** Haruhi-kun…is that you?

**Haruhi:** NO! _(runs back to the school library)_

**Twins,** **Razz, Kris and Jaki:** Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

**Haruhi:** _(getting back into guy clothes)_ You guys are so immature

**Tamaki:** No, daughter no! Pweeese keep the dress on!?

**Haruhi:** Hmmmmm…nope

**Tamaki:** _(chases Haruhi around the room)_ PUT THE DRESS ON! PUT THE DRESS ON!!

**Haruhi:** _(runs)_ Arrrrggg!!

**Kris:** Umm…you guys better not do that…you're gonna get-

**Mrs. P (Our school librarian):** What are you two doing?! Running and screaming in the library! And senior students too! What type of example are you setting for the young ones! Out! Now!

**Tamaki and Haruhi:** Ohwww…_(leave)_

**Kris:** Haha…don't say I didn't warn them Are you gonna ask something, Razz?

**Razz:** Nah…I'm gonna be the first review. Watch out, Kyoya.

**Kyoya:** Ah…crap.

**Kris:** 'Ah crap' indeed, Kyoya. And same goes to the rest of you. Now all fate lies in you, my wonderful reviewers. Feel free to now submit your various questions and dares. And just a hint from me: The more ridiculous the better! See you next time!


	2. This is Very Intense and Deep

_**CHARLIECHICK NOTE: All Ouran characters belong to Hatori Bisco. Harry Potter belongs to J.K Rowling. Everyone else belongs to themselves.**_

**HOST CLUB TRUTH OR DARE**

**SECOND INSTALMENT – THIS IS VERY INTENSE AND DEEP**

**Kris:** _(pulling faces at computer screen)_

**Razz:** _(working on a fanfic) (taptaptap)_

**Hunny:** _(swinging on a chair, eating cake)_

**Kyoya**: _(Writing in notebook)_

**Tamaki:** _(Hiding in corner)_

**Kaoru:** _(farts)_

**Hikaru:** _(farts too)_

**Haruhi:** _(Smells farts and moves away)_

**Mori:** _(moves away also)_

**Jaki:** '...moves…away…also…'

**Kris:** MUST YOU ALWAYS DO THAT?!

**Jaki:** _(giggles and goes off to read what Razz is writing)_

**Razz:** Stop it!

**Kris:** Something smells…

**Twins:** _(smile evilly)_

**Kris:** Okay, you two…which one…?

**Jaki:** 'Which…one?'

**Kris:** …I could type in anything and she would say it…

**Jaki:** '...and…she…would…say…it…'

**Hikaru:** I'm gay!

**Jaki:** 'I'm…gay'- what?! No! I'm not gay!

**Razz:** LOL!

**Twins: **_(laugh at Jaki also)_

**Jaki:** _(chases twins out of library and through the school)_

**Everyone:** …lol

_Half an hour later Jaki sneaks in and the twins think she's still chasing them_

**Mori:** …sneaky…

**Jaki:** '…sneaky…'

**Kris:** Sneaky!

**Haruhi:** Sneaky?

**Razz:** You should probably get to the part where you read the dares…

**Kris:** I was about to get on to that. Haruhi!

**Haruhi:** Wha?

**Kris:** Read the first dare!

**Haruhi:** _(looks at the computer screen)_ It's from Rachi-kun.

**Tamaki:** _(dramatically points at Razz)_ That's you!

**Razz:** _(smiles)_ No its not…

**Tamaki:** You're lying I can-

**Haruhi:** _(interrupting Tamaki)_ She writes: _  
Make Kyoya walk around school wearing stripper heels..._

**Kyoya:** WHAT?!

**Everyone except Kyoya:** Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah…ha!

**Kyoya:** I'm not going through with this ridiculous request!

**Kris:** Oww, but it came from one of your fangirls…

**Razz:** What?! I'm not a fangi-

**Kris:** Come on Kyoya, you know you want to

**Kyoya:** Uhh…no I don't

**Kris:** Well you have to! Or else!

**Kyoya: **Or else what?

**Kris:** _(Pulls out 100 energy drink)_ I wonder who this will work well on…Hunny? The twins? Tamaki? Mori? Jaki? Maybe even me…Whatever way, I'm sure they'd be obliged to follow you around after they drink it, if I ask nicely…

**Kyoya:** _(scowls and summons some stripper heels from thin air)_

**Kris:** That's a good boy-wait! How did he do that? o.O _(gasp)_ Harry Potter...

**Twins:** _(walk in just as Kyoya puts on the heels they briefly look at each other, then-)_AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HQAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAGHAH!

**Kyoya:** _(sweat drops)_ Why do I put up with this…

**Hikaru:** Hahaha! Kyoya's a tranny!

**Kaoru:** Tranny tranny tranny!

**Ranka:** What's wrong with being a tranny?

**Twins:** Nothing e.o

**Kyoya:** _(finally has the heels on. He begins to walk, or rather stumble around in them)_

**Everyone except Kyoya:** Bahahahahahahahahahaha!!

**Kyoya:** I hate you guys. Seriously.

**Hikaru:** Clacky-tran!

**Kaoru:** Clacky-tran?

**Hikaru and Kaoru:** Clacky-tran!!

**Kyoya:** Shut up, you two! _(clacks up in his high heels)_

**Kris:** Looks like you've just earned yourself a nic-name

**Kyoya:** You can shut up too!

**Kris:** You know you're supposed to walk outside and walk around school.

**Clacky Tr- I mean Kyoya:** I really hate you people. _(Stumbles out of room)_

**Kaoru:** Hahaha, we wont let him forget that. Thankyou Rachi-kun.

**Kris:** Okay, moving right along. Kasonoda, you can read Rachi's next dare.

**Kasonoda:** Why me? e.o

**Kris:** Because you're awesome.

**Kasonoda:** Yes I am! I mean, here is Rachi-kun's final dare:

_And make Ranka take Renge out on a date…_

**Ranka and Renge:** o.e

**Haruhi:** My dad?! With Renge?! Ewww…

**Hikaru:** Aww…Ranka and Renge…

**Kaoru:** They will fall for each other first time…

**Hikaru:** …and soon Haruhi will have a mum…

**Haruhi:** _(blinks)_ Haha…you wont seriously will you?

**Renge:** _(runs over to Ranka and pulls on his arm)_ Lets cosplay!!_(She pulls Ranka out the door with her)_

**Kris:** _(Shouting after them)_ Don't forget to tell us how it went!

**Haruhi:** Please do forget

**Kris:** Kaoru! You read the next person's dare!

**Kaoru:** This is from Kinkitsune01. She writes:

_My dare is for Tamaki. Tamaki, since you obviously have a way with words and can supposedly charm anyone,_

**Tamaki:** _(Taking a sip of coffee)_ Yup, you have me nailed

**Kaoru:** Shut up and let me finish what she has to say!

_let's see you try something new. I dare you to successfully charm on one of your fellow -MALE- hosts._

**Tamaki:** _(Spits out coffee)_

**Everyone but Tamaki and the male hosts** : Ahahahahahahahahahah~!

**Tamaki:** But…I'm not gay!

**Kris:** You still have to do it.

**Tamaki:** But-

**Kris:** The reviewer is always right! Think of your fangirls!

**Tamaki:** _(sighs and walks up to the twins)_ I guess this could be fun…_(looks them both in the eyes)_ My dear Princesses…

**Hikaru and Kaoru** (**and pretty much everyone but Tamaki**): _(Snicker)_

**Tamaki:** _(embarrassed)_ Shut up! The very sight of you takes my breath away and I can't imagine anyone more…better smelling…

**Hikaru and Kaoru:** _(fart on cue)_

**Haruhi:** That was deep.

**Razz: **Real deep...

**Everyone but Tamaki:** _(point and lol at Tamaki)_

**Hikaru:** _(smirk)_ Excuse me Tono, but were you just trying to hit on my little brother and I?

**Tamaki:** It wasn't like that!! It was- I was dared!! _(Goes and sulks in the emo corner)_

**Hikaru and Kaoru:** _(taunt Tamaki from sidelines)_

**Haruhi:** Should we continue?

**Kris:** Not yet, he's supposed to be successful, lets just wait a little longer

**----Half an Hour Later----**

**Kris:** Kay, get out of the corner you wuss and pick someone else to hit on.

**Tamaki:** I'm going to successfully do this dare no matter what! _(stands up and confidently strides over to Mori)_

**Mori:** _(tries to escape, but realises he is cornered)_

**Tamaki:** My dear, dear lady…(**Kris:** Why is he referring to them all as Women? **Razz:** No idea…) What exotic beauty aromas you!

**Kyoya:** _(clacks into room in stripper heals Looks around.) (From the sniggering Hitachiin twins, to the highly amused commoners, to Tamaki hitting on Mori)_ I don't even want to know…_(clacks out)_

**Tamaki:** Who knows what lies behind those mysterious, wild eyes…

**Mori:** _(pushes Tamaki away)_ Stop being weird…

**Tamaki:** Damnit! _(looks around the room, then walks over to Hunny)_

**Hunny:** _(blinks at Tamaki, holding a fork with piece of cake to his mouth)_

**Tamaki:** _(takes Hunny's free hand in his own)_ My beauty, I'd bet that that cake in your mouth is nowhere near as sweet as you really are…

**Everyone else:** _(snicker)_

**Kris:** Oooh, this is getting intense…

**Tamaki:** And those brown, brown eyes, browner than the richest of chocolates you may ever have consumed…

**Hunny:** _(smiles)_ Really, Tama-Chan?

**Tamaki:** YAY! _(dances around the room)_ I did it!! I did it!!

**Everyone but Tamaki:** o.O He did it…

**Hunny:** _(hides behind Mori)_

**Tamaki:** _(continues dancing around)_ Hahaha! I can do all dares now!

**Mrs. P:** _(sends Tamaki out of library yet again)_

**Kris:** Hahaha, thankyou so much, KinKitsune01!

**Jaki:** '…thankyou…so..-'

**Kris:** Mori, read the next dare!

**Mori:** It's from Wolf cubs. The first one:

_T4 dares Hikaru and Kaoru to break everything in the host club_

**Kyoya:** _(clacking voice coming from outside room)_ WHAT?!

**Kris:** You're supposed to be clacking around the school where people can see you Clacky.

**Hikaru:** Maybe he was hoping that Tono would try and hit on him…

**Kris:** Good point…off you go, Clacky

**Kyoya:** Damn you _(clacks away)_

**Kaoru:** Well straight to the point, Hikaru. We have work to do.

**Hikaru:** Yes. Yes we do.

_5 mins later all the mirrors, vases, and anything breakable has been shattered_

**Kris:** Good job guys, Kyoya's gonna kill you.

_The twins however are not listening. They are busy jumping on a grand piano_

**Hikaru: **Thanks so much, Wolf club's T4!

**Kaoru:** This is fun!

**Kris:** Well, lets just leave them, they're having fun. Hunny, come and read the final dare of Wolf clubs and for today.

**Hunny:** It says:

_And i (Din) dare Tamaki to call Kyoya master and then give him a kiss (the cheek is fine)_

**Kris:** Ahahahah, hey Tamaki! Kyoya! Get your butts in here!

**Kyoya:** _(clacks in almost instantly)_

**Tamaki:** _(bounces in, dodging the librarian)_

**Kris:** Read. _(thrusts piece of paper)_

**Kyoya:** What? Heck no!!

**Kris:** Heck yes!

**Hikaru:** Just do it, Clackyoya!

**Tamaki:** _(Walks over to Kyoya and drapes himself over him)_

**Kris:** It said nothing about draping, but hey, what does it matter? _(eats some popcorn)_

**Kyoya:** Why?

**Kris:** Pure fangirl logic

**Kyoya:** No. Just no.

**Kris:** Don't worry, I'm not into yaoi.

**Kyoya:** But y-

**Tamaki:** Well hello, master!

**Kyoya:** Getoff!

**Everyone but Tamaki and Kyoya:** hahahahahahahajhahahahahaha

**Jaki:** 'hahah…hahahajhaha…'

**Tamaki:** _(leans in closer to Kyoya and kisses him on the cheek)_

**Hikaru and Kaoru: **_(singing)_ 'It must be love, love, love..'

**Kyoya:** _(quicker than lightning, tears himself from Tamaki, runs out of the room and onto the school grounds. He can be seen through the window with his head dipped in the fountain)_

**Kris:** Aww, he's embarrassed

**Tamaki:** It wasn't that bad was it?…

**Razz:** Why don't you go and ask him?

**Tamaki:** _(goes)_

**Kris:** Hahaha, thankyou Wolf clubs and everyone else who partook in this. Be sure to review your questions and dares for next time! Once again the more ridiculous the better!

**Jaki:** '…thankyou…wolf clubs…'

**Kris:** Yeah. Thanks. Review. BYE!


	3. Smexy Back

_**CHARLIECHICK NOTE: All Ouran characters belong to Hatori Bisco. Justin Timberlake belongs to some recording company. Miroku belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. Everyone else belongs to themselves.**_

**HOST CLUB TRUTH OR DARE**

**THIRD INSTALMENT – SMEXY BACK**

**Kris:** …

**Razz:** …

**Haruhi:** …

**Jaki:** '…'

**Tamaki: **…

**Hunny: **…

**Kaoru: **…

**Hikaru: **…

**Kyoya: **…

**Renge: **…

**Ranka: **…

**Mori: **…………………………………………………

**Everyone else: **…

**Razz:** Well now that that's settled...

**Matt:** _(looks over from next computer)_ Am I in this story?

**Kris:** You are now

**Chris:** _(walks over)_ Ohhhh…you gotta be kidding me _(walks away)_

**Haruhi: **Well that was random...

**Kris:** Don't worry Chris, it's not the Twilight story

**Jaki:** 'is not twilight story'

**Jaki:** 'Jaki is not twilight story'

**Jaki:** 'Jaki-'

**Kris:** Will you cut that out!? Look what you're making me type!

**Jaki:** '…what you're making me type…'

**Matt:** _(proud with himself)_ I said something. Jakiiwon, shut up

**Jaki:** Noooo _(keeps repeating whatever is typed but Charliechick can't be bothered to record it anymore)_

**Kris:** Okay, lets get right into this _(slaps Kyoya's arm since he's closest)_

**Kyoya: **Hey! What was that for?

**Kris:** Well…I had pretty much this whole thing typed up, but then my pencil case got lost along with my USB, so I've had to start from scratch.

**Haruhi: **Oh, so that's why you've taken so long to update!

**Kris:** Bingo! Matt! Read the first comment!

**Matt:** _(doesn't know anything but complies all the same)_ From Kinkitsune01-

_Haha, that was hilarious! Thanks for doing my dare! My next dare goes to Haruhi (purely because of my fangirl-needs). I dare you to give both twins a kiss on the cheek. Easy enough, right? (-loves TwinsxHaruhi-)_ What the hell?

**Kris:** You don't read the manga or watch the Anime. You have no idea who these people are and no idea what we are talking about. Haruhi, do the dare!

**Haruhi: **I am not kissing them.

**Kris:** Yes you are! Think of your fangirls!

**Haruhi: **_(sighs)_ I guess…_(moves over to the twins who are waiting patiently)_

**Tamaki: **Nooo! Don't do it, Haruhi!

**Kris:** Shut up, pretty boy

**Tamaki: **_(goes and cries in the corner)_

**Matt:** _(stands over Tamaki, taunting him)_ Hahahahahahaha j hahahahahaha j

**Everyone else: **_(Stares at Matt)_ ………………

**Hikaru: **Are we forgetting something?

**Haruhi: **No

**Kris:** Yes, now go and kiss the twins like a good girl

**Haruhi: **_(walks over to Kaoru slowly, and reluctantly) (Softly kisses him on the cheek)_

**Everyone else: **_(Silence)_

**Haruhi: **_(slowly approaches Hikaru and leans in to kiss him on the cheek)_

**Hikaru: **_(Turns at the last moment, causing Haruhi to kiss him on the lips)_

**Kris:** _(gasp)_

**Tamaki: **Arrrgh!!!

**Haruhi: **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!ONE!

**Kris:** That was pretty sneaky, Hikaru

**Hikaru: **_(smiles and is proud of himself)_

**Haruhi:** _(disappears into the bathroom)_

**Tamaki: **_(starts chasing Hikaru like a psychotic maniac)_

**Hikaru: **Yeeeeeeeeeee..._(runs)_

**Kris:** Kaoru, read the next dare from Kinkitsune01

**Kaoru: **_Also, I dare Mori-Senpai to eat the biggest cake he can find. All of it. (Hunny does not get to share. Sorry, Hunny.)_

**Hunny: **Yay! Cake!

**Kris:** You don't get any.

**Hunny: **But whyyyyy?

**Kris:** Because it says so

**----5 minutes later----**

_A massive cake is bought in. _

**Kaoru: **Hmmm...can I jump out of the cake?

**Kris:** No you may not. The cake has already been made. If you want to jump out of the cake, someone will have to dare you to do so. Mori, eat the cake.

**Mori: **_(sitting with the cake in front of him)_ This will take a while...

**Kris:** That's fine

**Hunny: **_(approaches the cake)_

**Kris:** =/

**Hunny: **I'm just looking at it...

**Kris:** Okay then, just look at it. Thanks for those, Kinkitsune. Moving right along, Kyoya read the next dare!

**Kyoya: **It's from Devil-neko-onee-chan. It reads:

_I dare Tamaki to dye his hair lavender with see green highlights. _

**Kris:** Hey Tamaki, get your butt over here!

**Tamaki: **_(stops chasing Hikaru and comes over)_ What?

**Kris:** Do this dare!

**Tamaki: **Sure! _(takes hair dyes and goes into the bathroom)_

**Hikaru: **Aww, he thinks it will look good on him, bless him

**Razz:** Wait a second...wasn't Haruhi in there?

_A scream is heard from the bathroom _

**Kris:** ...Yup

**Haruhi: **_(runs out of bathroom, severely traumatised)_

**Kris:** So, Renge, Ranka how was the date

**Ranka: **...

**Renge: **Oh, it was wonderful! We cosplayed!

**Kris:** I'm sure you did!

**Hikaru: **Do you hear something?

**Everyone: **_(listens)_

**Tamaki: **_(singing voice from shower) _

_My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard  
and they're like its better than yours..._

**Jaki:** '...my milkshake bring...'

**Kris:** Wow...just wow...

**Devil-neko-onee-chan:** _(walks into room) (points and laughs at Tamaki) (leaves)_

**Everyone but Tamaki: **o.O lol

**----HALF AN HOUR LATER----**

**Tamaki: **(_sitting, arms folded with a ridiculous hairstyle)_

**Kyoya: **... no comment...

**Kris:** Tamaki, read the next dare!

**Tamaki: **It's from cold mist.

_Dare one: I dare Hikaru to pour molasses all over him and then hug Kaoru. _

**Hikaru: **Sure thing! _(pours a jar of molasses all over himself, like he's having a sexy shower, until the jar is empty)_

**Hikaru: **Oh, Kaoru!

**Kaoru: **You're gonna make me all sticky!!

**Hikaru: **We cana be sticky together!_ (glomps Kaoru)_

**Kaoru: **_(Becomes sticky also)_

**Haruhi: **Eww...

**Twins: **_(start chasing Haruhi wanting her to be part of their sticky club)_

**Kris:** Leave her alone, she needs to conserve her energy.

**Everyone: **Why?

**Kris:** Hunny, come and read Cold Mist's next dare.

**Hunny: **_Dare two: I dare Haruhi to wear a giant duck costume and dance the chicken dance._

**Haruhi: **What?!

**Everyone but Haruhi: **Hahahahahahaha

**Matt:** _(pops up out of nowhere)_ hahaha j hahaha j hahaha j hahahaj

**Kris:** Haha…um....can someone please dispose of this...laughing thing?

**Mori: **_(leaves with Matt in a bag) (comes back and continues with the cake)_

**Twins: **Oh, Haruhi..._(they have a big duck costume ready)_

**Haruhi: **Nooooooo..._(runs, but they catch up with her)_

**----FIVE MINUTES LATER----**

**Haruhi:**_ (is dressed in a duck suit. She is up on a stage and there is a crowd of people around. The chicken dance music starts, but Haruhi remains still.)_

**Everyone but Haruhi: **Dance! Dance! Dance!

**Haruhi: **_(sighs and starts doing the chicken dance)_

**Everyone else: **Hahahahahahahahaha

**Haruhi: **_(finishes)_

**Everyone else **: Encore! Encore!

**Haruhi: **_(continues dancing for half an hour without any more encores until the gets sick from heat exposure in the duck suit and has to be removed from the stage)_

**Kris:** Damn, poor thing she was just starting to enjoy herself too...Mori read the next dare.

**Mori: **_(finishes part of cake he's eating)_ From Rachi-kun-

**Razz:** _(evil smile)_

**Mori:**_ now, the twins have had fun so far, lets make them do something they won't like...  
I dare Kaoru to wear the girl's uniform *all day* and Hikaru cant speak or look at him  
have fun with that =)_

**Kaoru: **But I don't wanna wear the girl uniform all day

**Hikaru: **And I don't wanna not see him if he does!

**Kris:** The darer has the power, Kaoru, put on the dress.

**Kaoru: **_(grabs the puffy yellow thing and heads for the change rooms)_

**Kris:** Off you go, Hikaru, you aren't allowed to see him

**Hikaru: **_(frowns and walks away)_

**Kaoru: **_(comes out of the change rooms shortly after in the Ouran high girl uniform)_

**Everyone but Kaoru: **Ahahahahahahahahaha!!

**Kaoru: **Shut up _(walks out of the room)_

**Razz:** Make sure Hikaru doesn't see you!

**Kris:** Hahaha, kay Nekozawa read the next dare!

**Nekozawa: **_(comes out of the shadows)_

**Tamaki: **Arrgghh! _(hides)_

**Jaki:** '..arrg...'

**Nekozawa: **This dare is fro Begoshi.

_Hello Kris! Tis me Alexis! _

**Kris:** Hi Alexis! I'm gonna see you next Friday _(nod)_

**Nekozawa: **_Anyway, my dare is for Mori and the twins to do the cancan, complete with showgirl dresses. Very revealing Showgirl dresses. If they can't cancan(or you don't want them too), pole dancing is just as good._

**Kris:** Alexis. You are a genius.

**Mori: **_(Looking up from cake, his expression says it all)_

**Kris:** _(chucks dress at Mori)_ Put it on. And somebody go and get the twins, please.

**----5 MINUTES LATER----**

_Mori and the twins are standing on the makeshift stage in show girl gear. Kaoru is on the right, Hikaru is on the left and Mori is in the middle. They link arms and begin doing the cancan. _

**Begoshi: **_(pops up from thin air with a video camera)_ Mwahahahahahah!

_**Everybody (including Begoshi): **(clapping in time with the music, enjoying the show)_

**----5 HOURS LATER----**

**Hikaru: **hahaha, that was fun I wish there was more

**Kris:** Oh, is that so?

_Small openings open in the ceiling and poles come down from the roof _

_The following happenings are so disturbing, even charliechick daren't write about it. _

**----2 MINUTES LATER----**

**Kaoru, Hikaru and Mori: **_(run out of the building) _Never again! Never again! Never again!

_**Everyone else: **_o.O...

**Begoshi:**_(goes)_

**Kris:** Well...uh next dare! Ranka, come and read it!

**Ranka: **It's from Haruku Oujo

_xD lol I dare...Kyoya to sing Sexy Back to the whole school XD! _

**Everyone else: **LOLOLOLOLOL!!!

**Jaki:** '...olololol...'

**Twins and Mori: **_(crash down from a hole in the roof)_ HahahahahahahahahahAHAHAHAHA!!

**Haruhi: **What were they doing up there?

**Kris:** Who cares! Do you know the words, Kyoya?

**Kyoya: **Oh...umm...no! Ofcorse not!

**Razz:** I think he does...

**Kyoya: **No!

**Kaoru: **He probably sings it to himself every morning in the bathroom mirror.

**Kris:** Get out there, Clacky! _(kicks him onto a stage right in front of the school assembly)_

**Mr. Saou: **And now Ootori Kyoya would like to make an announcement

_A microphone is handed to Kyoya _

**Kyoya: **Uhh...umm...

_**Everyone whose part of the truth or dare including all reviewers and dare takers: **_DO IT!!!! DO IT!!!

**Kyoya: **Here goes..._(starts singing)_

_I'm bringing sexy back  
Them other boys don't know how to act  
I think you're special, what's behind your back?  
So turn around and I'll pick up the slack._

_Take 'em to the bridge_

_Dirty babe  
You see the shackles  
Baby I'm your slave  
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave  
It's just that no one makes me feel this way_

_Take 'em to the chorus_

_Come here girl  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Come to the back  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
VIP  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Drinks on me  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Let me see what you're twerking with  
Go ahead, be gone with it_  
**Jaki:** '…be…gone…'  
_Look at those hips  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
You make me smile  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Go ahead child  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
And get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it_

_I'm bringing sexy back  
Them other f**Kers don't know how to act  
Come let me make up for the things you lack  
'Cause you're burning up I gotta get it fast_

_Come to the back  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
VIP  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Drinks on me  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Let me see what you're twerking with  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Look at those hips  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
You make me smile  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Go ahead child  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
And get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it_

**Everybody: **_(round of applause and cheering)_

**Twins: **Go Clacky, go! Go Clacky go!

**Kyoya: **_(bows and walks off before getting in trouble for swearing at school)_

**Kris, Razz, Jaki, Mat and Chris:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh

**Kris:** Haruhi, read the next dare

**Haruhi: **These are from Michieru Berujironu.

_I dare Hunny to kill the next person that makes him do something embarrassing. _

**Hunny: **_(sits waiting) (a fly goes past) (he swats and misses it) (he grabs out the fly spray and starts chasing)_ DIE! DIE! DIE!

**Kris:** Kaoru, do the next:

**Kaoru: **_I dare Tamaki to admit his true feelings for Haruhi. None of that daughter bull crud now, you know what you really feel._

**Kris:** Whoa, a truth!

**Hikaru: **so?

**Kris:** We don't get many truth questions, seeing as this is a **TRUTH** or dare thread...so go on Tamaki, spill

**Tamaki: **Uhh...she's my daughter...

**Ranka: **No she isn't, pervert!

**Kris:** 'none of that daughter bull crud'

**Tamaki: **Uhh...fine then _(he turns to Haruhi and holds her hands)_ I love you, Haruhi. Will you bare my children?

**Miroku:** _(pops up out of nowhere)_ Hey that's my line! _(kicks Tamaki and runs off)_

**Everyone else: **o.O...

**Kris:** Wrong anime, mate

**Haruhi: **Oh, Tamaki!

**Tamaki: **Oh, Haruhi!

_They begin to kiss _

**Everyone else: **o.O Well that was faster than expected...

**Mrs. P:** WHAT do you two think you're doing? Kissing in the library? OUT!

**Tamaki and Haruhi: **_(run away hand in hand)_

**Kris:** Hunny, read the next one

**Hunny: **_I dare Kyoya to throw those heels he has at the twins. Let's see if they can live past the spikes of death at the hands of the Shadow King... Yeah, I like Kyoya too._

**Kyoya: **I like you too, Michieru Berujironu. Now you two...WHAT DO YOU THINK OF CLACKY-TRAN NOW!? FACE THE SPIKES OF DEATH!!! _(takes them of his feet- apparently he was still clacking in them- and throws them at the twins)_

**Twins: **DJHFASLJKHTGKLESHGIKAEJFHGKADJFFJJFAKG!!!!!! _(Run outside)_

**Kris:** Hahaha _(looks around)_ We seem to be losing our darees pretty fast. Kasonoda, read the next one

**Kasonoda: **_I dare the twins, if they live, to then torment Tamaki in whatever fashion they like._

**Kris:** _(calls out)_ Kaoru, Hikaru!!

**Hikaru: **_(runs in)_ Kaoru is outside _(dodges one of Clacky's heels)_ What is it?

**Kris:** _(shows him the dare)_

**Hikaru: **_(face lights up with pure happiness)_ I love this person, I'll go and tell Kaoru now _(he runs out of the library, dodging more of the Shadow King's blows)_

**Kris:** And there they go again...Mei, read Michieru Berujironu's last dare.

**Mei: **_I dare Renge to drown in a lake. I hate her, I really do... Ok, make it a lake of spiders._

_Have I scared you all yet? _

**Kaoru: **_(from through the window)_ I-I'm n-not scared at all! _(one of Kyoya's heels hits him)_ ARRRGGGHHH! I've been infected with the C-virus!! Help, Hikaru, heeeeeeeelp!

**Kris:** I think everyone's pretty scared. You heard what she said, Renge go and drown in the spiders.

**Renge: **Hohohohohokay! _(she skips over to the lake of spiders and drowns. She tried to get the spiders to cosplay before she died, but failed epically)._

**Kris:** Meh, she'll be alive again next time, so you can dare her to do more stuff...

_All at once Tamaki comes back in, running and hand in hand with Haruhi, followed by the Hikaru who is giving Kaoru a piggy back, who is throwing water bombs and some of Hikaru's Molasses at Tamaki. The twins are then followed by Kyoya who is wildly flailing his Clacky stripper heels at them. Hunny also comes, chasing the fly. _

**Kris:** Hey, everyone is back! One big happy family!

**Everyone else: **...

**Kris**: Was it something I said?

**Mori: **_(eating cake) (chew, chew)_

**Razz:** There's one more person.

**Jaki:** '...one...more...'

**Matt:** _(having escaped from the bag and pressing up against the window)_ hahaha j one hahaha j more haha j

**Chris:** 'one more?' What the hell...

**Kris:** That's right, only one more person for this chapter that has been almost as long as my English assignment...and its someone called Kisshu and Ren are mine. It says:

_Hi. i luv these stories. any i dare Haruhi to tell us his favourite host _Woot, truth

**Haruhi: **Tamkai!!! _(glomps him)_

**Kris:** What's with-

**Kyoya: **_(whispering)_ It's because of the heat exposure in the duck costume. It will ware off by tomorrow. _(Talking normal)_ I want to read her next dare! It says:

_for kyoyo show everyone what u write in your notebook _

Wait- I'm not doing that. And I'm not Kyoyo

**Twins: **Hahahaha! Yoyo!

**Tamaki: **Show the notebook!

**Kyoya: **_(sigh)_ No use arguing..._(he displays his note book to show club records. Boring, boring, boring, until...)_

**Haruhi: **Wau! Kyoya I didn't know you were an artist!

**Kris:** Aww, he uses his widdle book for drawings

**Kyoya: **And you don't

**Kris:** hehe... Hey! Final dare, final dare!!

**Everyone: **What is it:

**Kris:** _hey can i be in the story. i luv the twins (mostly Hikaru) so can they b mine? ty_ _  
_And my answer: For the last minutes of this chapter, they're all yours!

**Kisshu and Ren:** _(appears at the door)_

**Twins: **_(go either side of her, link arms and escort her to a nice restaurant)_

**Kris:** Awwwwe, look at them, isn't that lovely? Anyways, that brings a close to this long chapter. This has gone for 15 Microsoft word pages. It may or may not be this long from now on, depending on the number of reviews and the amount of time it takes to update. Don't be afraid to invite people from other anime and manga too, but we're only doing darings for OHSHC peeps. Feel free to review your questions and dares! Until next time, bye bye!


	4. Kasanoda Kun is a Pimp

_**CHARLIECHICK NOTE: All Ouran characters belong to Hatori Bisco. Inuyasha and Jusenkyo Springs belong to Rumiko Takashshi. James Bond belongs to Ian Fleming. Hannah Montana belongs to Disney. The Holy grail quote belongs to Monty Python. Ayame and Fruits Basket belong to Natsuki Takaya. Edward Elric and FMA belong to Hiromu Arakawa. Shakira belongs to Sony Music Columbia. Mary Mary Quite Contrary belongs to Mother Goose. "I kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry belongs to Capitol records. Beyonce belongs to Columbia records. Everybody else belongs to themselves.**_

_**Warning: Some disturbing sequences within…**_

**HOST CLUB TRUTH OR DARE**

**FOURTH INSTALLMENT – KASANODA-KUN IS A PIMP**

**Kris:** Well, we have 12 (sort of 13 actually) reviewers this time and a total of 70 truthy dare thingos.

**Razz:** 70?!

**Kris:** Yes. Some people made some big, fat posts, so this will be an extra long chappie. I might even divide it into two...

**Kyoya:** NooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooooooOOOOOOOO

**Kris:** Ah come on, you know you love it, Clacky

**Kyoya:** OOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOoooo…

**Kris:** I'm having pizza for dinner tonight!

**Jaki:** Yay!

**Kaoru:** She said something that wasn't already typed…

**Tamaki:** Take a photo!

**Jaki:** For what?

**Kris:** This is an amazing step for you!

**Jaki:** Huh?

**Hikaru:** You're not saying what is typed

**Jaki:** '…what…is…typed…'

**Everyone but Jaki:** -_- Damn

**Jaki:** '…-_...'

**Kris:** Okay, we have plenty of reviews. Hunny come and read the first one.

**Hunny:** Yay! It's from Michieru Berujironu.  
_And more from Michieru Berujironu, the psychotic truth-or-dare fan... notice I didn't say fanGIRL... hint hint hint... Oh dear XD _

**Everybody:** _(looks at Kris)_

**Kris:** …oops…

**Hunny:** _Anyway, I dare Haruhi to wear that bunny girl outfit the twins wanted her to wear in Episode 12 and hop around the school while wearing it._

**Haruhi:** _(trying to stay calm)_ What is it with these people and making me dress like a bunny?!

**Hunny:** But I like it when you're a bunny, Haru-Chan!

**Haruhi:** I am not wearing that thing!

**Kris:** You say that every time, Haruhi. But you always do.

**Haruhi:** That's because you make me

**Jaki:** '…you make me…'

**Kris:** Exactly! You can't resist me!

**Haruhi:** _(sighs and puts on the bunny suit)_

**Twins and Tamaki:** Good girl, Haruhi

**Kris:** Ain't it great when she does what she's told?

**Razz:** _(walks into room just as Haruhi hops out) (gives Haruhi a weird look)_ I don't even want to know…

**Everyone else:** _(laughing at the sight of the bunny hopping Haruhi)_

**Haruhi:** _(voice fading into background)_ Not…funny…rich…bastar……

**Kris:** Hikaru, read the next one

**Hikaru:** _(slips out of trance caused by bunny-Haruhi)_ _I dare Tamaki to go and b**chslap his grandmother around the mansion. Payback time baby XD_

**Kris, Razz and Jaki:** _(cheer)_

**Tamaki:** Ummm…Its not the smartest thing to do…

**Everyone but Tamaki:** Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Bitchslap the bitch!

**Tamaki:**_ (goes to mansion and bitchslaps the bitch around)_

**Tamaki's Grandmother:**_ (Slaps Tamaki with her handbag)_

**Tamaki:** _(dies)_

_Awkward silence. O.o o.O_

**Kris:** …Tamaki's grandmother, read the next dare

**Tamaki's Grandmother:** _Kyoya... I dare you... to financially ruin the person you hate the most._

**Kyoya:** _(looks at Kris)_

**Kris:** What? I'm unemployed so you can't financially ruin me. How else would I have the time to type all of this?

**Kyoya:** _(sighs and financially ruins stiletto company)_

**Kaoru:** Hey! What have you got against the stiletto company?

**Kyoya:** I have my reasons…_(shudders)_

**Kris:** Mei can read the next one

**Mei:** _Twins, I dare you... to make Renge's life a living hell. From then on, you can go screw around with whoever you want except for Kyoya and Hunny... Limiting is a b**ch XD_

**Twins:** _(smile evilly)_

**Renge:** Oh…crap…

**Twins:** _(do everything you can imagine to torment Renge and everyone else around then except Kyoya and Hunny)_

**Everyone but Kyoya and Hunny:** Crap…

**Kyoya:** The next dare is: _Hunny... I dare you to lock Mori in a closet the next time you get a cavity. _

**Everyone but Hunny and Mori:** Ahahahahahahaha…

**Kris:** Well does he have a cavity now?

**Razz:** Probably…

**Hunny:** _(goes on a crazy rampage with rabies and locks Mori in the closet)_

**Mori:** _(inside the closet)_ …

**Hunny:** …

**Some Guy: **…

**Jaki:** '…'

**Kris:** We can hear you, you know…

**Kaoru:** I wanna read the next one

**Kris:** Sure

**Kaoru:** _Mori... Truth. Do you love Hunny? _

**Kris:** _(taps on closet)_ Well?

**Mori:** …yes…

**Kris:** Awww…

**Haruhi:** It was pretty obvious

**Kris:** What are you doing back here? We never told you to stop!

**Haruhi:** _(sighs and hops out the door again)_

**Kris:** Chairman read the next one

**Chairman:** No

**Kris:** Come on, scaredy cat

**Chairman:** Okay…_Nekozawa, I dare you to go to a Catholic church and try to convert people to your cat-worshipping religion._

**Razz:** This should be interesting…

**Nekozawa:** _(runs down street to catholic church and tries to convert people) (the Catholics ignore his cat preaching but welcome him into their church with open arms) (at the end of the service, Nekozawa can be seen helping the little old ladies serve tea and biscuits)_

**Everyone:** …

**Hikaru:** That was unexpected…

**Hunny:** I want biscuits too! _(runs to the church to dine with Nekozawa)_

**Kris:** Erum…okay…read the next dare, Ranka

**Ranka:** _And finally...  
__I dare Kris to apologize for calling me a girl. Go ahead and call me a ** or whatever, but at least you know the truth, and if you truly are homophobic, which I severely doubt since you like Ouran obviously, that's just another for my mafia group to add to their hit list. _

**Kris:** Sorry bout that. I just haven't met any guys who have read/watched the show (haven't met many girls who have either) and it was just an on the spot assumption that you might be a girl. But that's totally cool! Take no offence to it, I see now that you are a guy ;) And please don't add me to your hit list either... I have a feeling I'm already on Kyoyas and that's more than enough.

**Kyoya:**_ (smirk)_

**Razz:** And that's all from Michieru Berujironu.

**Kris:** Thankyou for your time. Now on to our next darer who is Kinkitsune01!

**Tamaki and Haruhi:** Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…

**Kris:** Just because you two have come to misfortune from her ingenious dares. I think they're quite funny.

**Tamaki and Haruhi:** …oooooooooooooooooooooooo…

**Kris:** And Haruhi, get hopping

**Haruhi:** _(sighs and gets hopping)_

**Tamaki:** …oooooooooooooooooo…

**Razz:** I think you can stop now

**Tamaki:** …ooooooooooo _(stops)_

**Kris:** I think Nekozawa should read the first one. Oi, Cat boy, get your butt over here!

**Nekozawa:** _(reads)_ _Okay, some truths... Kaoru. I've been wondering if you've TRULY gotten over Haruhi to give her to Hikaru, like you said you would? I for one don't think it's so easy to do that._

**Kaoru:** Well…it was kinda hard at first. But now I've moved on and realised that there are other girls out there. There are so many of them but I know one will be the right girl for me.

**Everyone:**_ (applause)_

**Kris:** Wow…that was deep…real deep…

**Kaoru:**_ (bows and is glomped by Kinkitsune01)_

**Kris:** Kasonoda can read the next one

**Kasonoda:** _Another truth question (for pure comedic-needs ;P): Haruhi, your opinion on as many of the fan-pairings for Ouran Host Club? (examples: HikaxHaru, TamaxHaru, KyoxHaru, -hehe- or KyouyaxTamaki ;3) _

**Haruhi:** _(falls through hole in ceiling)_

**Kyoya:** _(takes sip of water)_

**Haruhi:** Fan pairings…hmmm…they're unique. You see a lot with Tamaki and I, which is embarrassing, Kyoya and I which is weird, the twins together which is incest but seemingly inevitable. I saw a really disturbing one once which involved Mori, Hunny and Tamaki. I couldn't look any of them straight in the eyes for a week. But the worst one ever would have to be one where I saw my dad get together with Kyoya. Gross!

**Ranka:** _(falls of chair)_

**Kyoya:** _(chokes on water)_

**Everyone else:** _(shudder)_

**Haruhi:** I've seen some Kaoru/Mei ones. They were kinda cute I guess…

**Kaoru and Mei:** _(blush)_

**Haruhi:** I've seen plenty of Tama/Kyo as well. The less intense ones are kinda sweet

**Kris:** Do you go and look these up, Haruhi?

**Haruhi:** What? No!

**Everyone else:** Sure, sure

**Kris:** And finally, Kinkitsune asks: _Did_ _Mori-Senpai manage to finish that cake_ ?

_Closet cam flashes on computer screen to show Mori still eating the cake_

**Kris:** We'll let you know when he's…ahh…finished…Haruka Oujo is now up!

**Kyoya:** Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Kris:** This person is awesome. Kyoya, read her first dare!

**Kyoya:** _I dare Renge to date Tamaki xD!_

**Renge:** _(falls through the roof, now has purple hair from twin's tormenting) _Cosplay! Cosplay! Cosplay! _(takes Tamaki by the hand and runs out the door)_

**Kris:** _(shouts after them)_ Have fun!

**Kyoya:** _I also want Inuyasha to come out of nowhere and start breaking stuff and Hunny-sempai trying 2 stop him! xD!_

**Inuyasha:** _(pops through roof)_

**Kris:** Having a break from Mizuki's Q&A?

**Inuyasha:** I've just come here to do what I gotta do _(pulls tetsuiga out and starts breaking stuff) _hehe…fun.

**Hunny:** _(running back with a handful of granny church biscuits)_ Hey! You stop that! _(chases after Inuyasha, attempting to stop him, but Inuyasha dodges)_

**Inuyasha:** Who's this brat?

**Everyone else:** _(watch the two for a while before returning to the truth or dare)_

**Kris:** Thanks for those, Haruka Oujo. Haruhi, read the next.

**Haruhi:** These are from Rachi-kun  
_I dare Mori to reject Hunny, but Hunny can't know it was a dare _

**Kris:** _(slaps Razz on back)_ Awww, you meanie. This will be funny. _(files dare through to closet so Mori can see it)_

**Hikaru:** Hey, Hunny. Mori must be getting pretty lonely in that closet, hey?

**Hunny:** _(stops chasing Inuyasha)_ Yeah! I'll go visit him. _(knocks on closet door)_ Hey, Mori open up!

**Mori:** No…

**Hunny:** What?

**Mori:** …no…

**Hunny:** _(goes on crazy rampage after Inuyasha once again)_ AAAAAAAHHHHHHMORIREJECTEDMEFREAKINGJERKINTHECLOSET!DOESNTWANTFRIENDS_!(flaps)_ANDNOWIMGONNATAKEITOUTONGUYWITHFUNNYEARSWHOSEBREAKINGCRAPIDONTEVENCAREABOUTANYMORE!!!!ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!! _(bites Inuyasha's foot)_

**Inuyasha:** Woah! Crap! This brat is worse than I am at my worst!

**Kaoru:** Yo, Hunny! _(chucks piece of cake out window)_

**Hunny:** _(springs away from Inuyasha and dives after cake)_

**Inuyasha:** Phew _(continues breaking stuff, with a bleeding foot)_

**Kris:** Éclair, come and read the next one

**Everyone:** Booooooooo! Plastic bitch with fake eyes!

**Éclair:** _Nekozawa has to spend a day without his cloak/wig/other evil accessories. If he chickens out then he must be tormented! Baha _

**Nekozawa:** _(sighs and starts to strip, which proves he is an albino with albino skin, albino hair, albino eyes, albino- well, you get the picture. He's all white)_

**Kris:** Stay like that for the rest of the day, or else.

**Nekozawa:** Or else…?

**Kris:** I'll think of something. But it will involve sunshine. Lots and lots of sunshine.

**Nekozawa:** Eeep!

**Kris:** Well, that's all from Rachi-kun. Razz, can you read the next ones?

**Razz:** Yep. These are from KitsuneTenchi127.  
_Kyoya, Truth- Was the end of ep 8 really an act? Cuz I know that you know that I know that you know that you really do LUVS her! _

**Kris:** Well…?

**Kyoya:** Ummm…I was just trying to prove a point…

**Kris:** Were you feeling lonely?

**Kyoya:** What? No! I was fine!

**Hikaru:** He _felt_ fine more like it…

**Kyoya:** Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

**Razz:** _I dare Hunny to eat the most sour thing anyone can imagine _

**Kris:** _(Goes onto google and types in 'worlds most sour food')(goes down to the shop) (returns with 'warheads most sour yet') (gives it to Hunny, whose still chasing Inuyasha)_ Eat.

**Hunny:** What are they?

**Kris:** Lollies. Sour ones.

**Hunny:** Sweet would be better…

**Kris:** The Darer is always right!

**Hunny:** Kay_…(eats warheads all at once) (gets a really sour expression, does a weird dance and blasts off through the roof)_

**Kaoru:** He'll be back…

**Kris:** Well…in the mean time Jaki can read the next dares.

**Jaki:** '…can read…next dares…'

**Kris:** She's been doing that the whole chapter. I just haven't been bothered to type it. Just read 'em.

**Jaki:** _I dare Renge to eat 30 bowls of rice (if she can, seeing as she drowned)(I hate her too) And I hope she chokes and dies. Or at least a severe tummy-ache _

_Flash to scene of Tamaki and Renge at a restaurant. Renge is being forced to eat heaps of rice._

**Razz:** Sucks for her...

**Jaki:** _And Tamaki- were the cool outfit you wore in ep 13 cuz you've never been sexier than you were in that hat. _

_Flash to the restaurant again. Renge is still eating rice. There is a poofing sound and all of a sudden, Tamaki is wearing the sexy mad hatter costume._

**Haruhi:** What a strange sight.

**Kyoya:** Hmmm, he could really attract customers in that.

_Flash back to restaurant. Renge has just finished all the rice and is really fat. All of a sudden…_

**Renge and Tamaki:** _(fall through roof)_

**Kyoya:** It seems the restaurant was just upstairs…

**Kris:** Nice of you guys to drop by. Now that's all of KinsuneTenchi's dares. Renge, read the next ones.

**Renge:** These are from Coldmist.

**Haruhi:** Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Kris:** Yeeeeeeeeeeessssss

**Kaoru and Hikaru:** Mayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyybeeeeeeeeeee

**Renge:** Just let me read!  
_1. I dare the twins to load themselves up with sugar u know pixie stix and what not I'm talking the giant ones eat like 12 of those and lets see everyone else's have to deal with that _

_Ginormous pixie stix start raining down_

**Kaoru and Hikaru:** Yeeeeew! _(start eating them)_

**----One hour later----**

_All that is seen on the twins are two blurs whizzing around the room, bouncing off people and artefacts at random._

**Tamaki:** _2. I dare Haruhi to take the duck costume she wore and put it in a bag filed with marbles and chuck it at Renge _

**Haruhi:** Sure thing _(gathers up duck costume and bag filled with marbles)_

**Kris:** Wow, she wants to do it for once

**Haruhi:** _(chucks it at Renge)_

**Renge:**_ (feels nothing, because it bounces off her rice-filled stomach) (dies anyway)_

**Everyone except twins:** …………………………………

**Haruhi:** _(picks up paper of dares)_ _3. also if anything the twins broke in ch 2 was replaced I dare them to break it all again _

**Twins:** _(stop bouncing)_ Weeeeeeewt!!!! _(Join Inuyasha. Together the three are an indestructible destruction team)_

**Inuyasha and the twins:** _(jumping on the piano, (They are playing the OHSHC theme) throwing valuables around)_ Woooo!

**Kris:** Thanks for those, Cold Mist. Now out next darer is Begoshi! Woot!

**Razz:** Kay, her first dare: _Okay, this one is for Kasonoda (You are the ** by the way :P)._

**Kasonoda:** =]

**Razz:**_ I, Begoshi, dare you, Kasonoda, to go out, dressed as Casonova, and successfully pick up five chicks. Extra points if they kiss you. _

**Kasonoda:** Hmmm…kay

**Kris:** You little pimp, you…

_5 mins later, Kasonoda is dressed as Casonova, in 18th century French garb._

**Twins:** Off you go! _(kick him out the window)_

**Kasonoda:** _(walks down the street until he comes across someone in a sexy dress) (kneels down)_ My beautiful gardenia. Wont you become my concubine?

**Person in sexy dress**: Why, ofcorse!

**Tamaki:** Hey, he did it!

**Kris:** One problem…

**Tamaki:** What?

**Kris:** I don't think that's a chick…

**Kasonoda:**_ (voice coming from off screen)_ HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!

**Haruhi:** Poor Kasonoda-Kun…

**Kaoru:** It appears he's on Tranny street.

**Everyone:** _(sweat drop)_ Oh dear.

**Hikaru:** Why aren't you there, Clacky?

**Kyoya:** _(starts chasing Hikaru with a Machete)_

**Kasonoda:** _(gets out of tranny street) (shudders) (comes across a girl and does the whole Casanova thing) (gets slapped)_ Damn.

**Hunny:** _(falling from the sky)_ …eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee _(lands on Kasonoda)_

**Kasonoda:** That's right! You ate that sour lolly.

**Hunny:**_ (nods and runs back to the school)_

**Inuyasha:** _(voice coming off screen)_ Ah crap! I thought this brat was gone!

**Random girl named Hayle:** Hey, was that your little brother just now?

**Kasonoda:**_ (Casanova style)_ Why yes, it was

**Hayle:** Ohh, men who look after younger brothers are just so…manly!

**Jaki:** '…so…manly…'

**Kyoya:** Hmmm, he did it.

**Kris:** Lets just leave him to it for the time being. Haruhi, read the next one.

**Haruhi:**_ (dodges Twins and Inuyasha as they whirl around)  
__Okay, Dare #2:I, Begoshi, dare you, Hunny, to go out, James Bond style (car, suit, chick, the works) to go do the most boring chore you could possibly think of(that doesn't include cake). _

**Kris:** _(goes to google and types in 'boring chores')_ Ha! I've got it.

**Twins:** (_whisk Hunny away [leaving Inuyasha to break stuff on his own] and put him in the James Bond getup.)_

**Kris:** Hmmm, now…Mei, you can be his bitch.

**Mei:** Why me?

**Kris:** Because you haven't done anything yet

**Mei:** _(Grumbles and gets into black convertible with Hunny)_

**Hunny:** What are we doing?

**Kris:** Have you ever heard of a wonderful place called the parliament house?

**Hunny and Mei:** …

**Kris:** You'll be spending the day there sorting our documents and entire scripts of every session dating back to 1954. After that you'll be scouting the entire premises, picking up every single paper clip that has been dropped and going and handing each individual piece to the prime minister as soon as you find them. You'll then be trimming the hedges in John Howard's private garden.

**Razz:** It's Kevin Rudd now.

**Kris:** So?

**Razz:** It's been Kevin Rudd for over a year

**Kris:** Ah well. Just do it, guys.

**Hunny and Mei:** _(glare and cruse off in their pimpmobile into the sunset (even though its midday)_

**Kris:** Ahh, they have a gruelling few weeks ahead of them. I pity them.

**Hikaru:** Yo, Kasonoda just got three girls at once.

**Kaoru:** What a pimp…

**Kasonoda:** _(some how manages to walk arm in arm with 4 girls at once. The new three consist of an old lady)_

**Everyone:** Ewwwww, so wrong!

_(a random tourist)_

**Everyone:** ...

_(and a little girl)_

**Everyone:** Paedophile!

_(Kasonoda then approaches another girl and does his thing, but the girl gives him a massive kick)_

**Kasonoda:** _(crashes through the roof) (stands up)_ …

**Begoshi:** _(kicks him back out window)_ Don't come back until you're done!

**Kasonoda:** _(flying through the air)_ Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee………_(crash lands in Hannah Montana's house)_

**Hannah Montana:** _(falls in love with him and kisses him)_

**Everyone:** Awwwww, he did it

**Kris:** Awww, the little pimp. I wonder how Hunny and Mei are doing…

_Flash to parliament. Mei is poring over thousands of handwritten documents of sessions the scribes have composed over the years, trying to sort them out_

**Mei:** And I wasn't even dared to do this!

_Hunny is crawling under tables and chairs. Suddenly he finds a paper clip. He runs all the way across the parliament house's huge premises to hand it in person to Mr. Rudd._

**Mr Rudd:** What's this?

**Hunny:** _(James bond voice) _Paper clip, sir

**Mr. Rudd:** And who might you be?

**Hunny:** Haninozuka. Mitzukuni Haninozuka _[a/n: Bond. James Bond xD lame](runs all the way back to the room he was in, returning to Mr. Rudd whenever he finds a new paper clip)_

_Flash back to where everyone else is_

**Kris:** Well, back on with our dares. Our next darer has submitted a total of 25 dares!

**Everyone:** Whoa!

**Kris:** Yes, yes whoah! Note people: I am not a writing machine xD, but here goes. The darer is faii-chan. Read the first dare, Kaoru

**Kaoru:** Kay, _1/I dare Kyoya to give Haruhi a lap dance_

**Haruhi, Tamaki, Ranka and Kyoya:** WHUT???!!

**Everyone else:** Ahahahaha!

**Tamaki:** You are not getting close and personal with my daughter, thank you very much!

**Ranka:**_ (steps on Tamaki)_ What do you mean _your _daughter?

**Kyoya:** I don't want to get close and personal with anyone

**Hikaru:** Except his 'lil clackys

**Kyoya:** _(pulls out Machete)_

**Jaki:** '…pulls…out…machete…'

**Haruhi:** I will not let him give me a lap dance!

**Kris:** Ah, just get it over and done with, you pansies!

**----Ten minutes later----**

_Haruhi is tied to a chair and Kyoya is being forced to lap dance. Oh dear._

**Kyoya:** _(while lap dancing)_ Now what?

**Kris:** Just…uhh…stay like that for a bit until you're next needed

**Haruhi:**_ (has died)_

**Kris:** Heres the next dare- _2/ I dare Tamaki to run around the library in a black tube top and black mini skirt with pink high heels and a wig on_

**Tamaki:** But I like my sexy mad hatter clothes

**Kris:** Put them back on later then

**Tamaki:** Kay _(is soon dressed in black tube top and black mini skirt with pink high heels and a wig on)_

**Everyone but Tamaki:** O.O

**Inuyasha:** _(still managing to break a few things here and there)_ ZOMG! It's Jakotsu! He tried to hit on me! _(runs and hides in closet with Mori, stepping in some of the remaining cake in the process)_

_Everyone is now sitting on the floor, as Inuyasha broke all the chairs_

**Kris:** Hey, Razz can I get you to read the rest of her dares?

**Razz:** Sure

**Kris:** And everyone, no complaining. I want to finish this sometime tonight. Remember if you try to argue, you'll never win, so you shouldn't bother.

**Razz:** _3/ I dare Kaoru to sing hush little baby to Haruhi_

**Haruhi:** _(Is untied and runs away)_

**Kris:** Did she just listen to a word I said?

**Kaoru:** I think she was a little preoccupied_…(goes after Haruhi and drags her back) (begins to sing to her)_

_Hush, little baby, don't say a word,  
Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird._

_If that mockingbird won't sing,  
Mama's going to buy you a diamond ring._

_If that diamond ring turns brass,  
Mama's going to buy you a looking glass._

_If that looking glass gets broke,  
Mama's going to buy you a billy goat._

_If that billy goat won't pull,  
Mama's going to buy you a cart and bull._

_If that cart and bull turn over,  
Mama's going to buy you a dog named Rover._

_If that dog named Rover won't bark,  
Mama's going to buy you a horse and cart._

_If that horse and cart fall down,  
You'll still be the sweetest little boy in town._

_So hush little baby, don't you cry,  
Daddy loves you and so do I._

_By the end of the song, not only Haruhi, but everyone (including Inuyasha and Mori in the closet) has fallen asleep except for the twins._

**Kaoru:** Jeez, was my singing that boring?

**Hikaru:** I thought it was quite nice.

**Jaki:** '…was…quite…nice…'

**Twins:** …

**Kaoru:** She even does it in her sleep?

**Hikaru:** We should continue anyways _(takes dare paper from Razz)  
_It says: _I dare Hikaru to scream at Kyoya until he loses his voice about raising Haruhi's debt?  
__(in soft, calm voice)_ I can do that…_(voice turns to loud, harsh shouting)_ OI, KYOYA! YOU ARSE, GETTUP!!!

**Everyone but Kyoya:** _(jerks back awake)_

**Hikaru:** _(Continues shouting anyway)_ SOME STINGY BARSTARD YOU ARE- ALWAYS RAISING POOR HARUHIS DEPT! SHE'S ENOUGH OF A COMMONER AS IT IS!

**Kyoya:** _(Remains peacefully asleep)_

**Hikaru:** DON'T YOU GO THINKING THAT I DON'T KNOW- _(loses voice)_

**Kyoya:** _(wakes)_ Did you say something, Hikaru?

**Hikaru:** …

**Razz:** _(takes paper back)_ Okay, next.  
_5/ I dare Hunny to eat a pile of fruit and vegetables that is as high as the Eiffel tower_

_At the parliament house, Mei and Hunny can be seen trimming the plants. Neither have finished their other jobs, but got too bored and are doing the other job as a break. Hunny is trying to climb the giant flagpole, when the fruit and vegies come._

**Hunny:** Wow_…(picks out all the strawberries and eats them all) (has to eat the rest too. Uh-oh!)_

_Flash to closet_

**Inuyasha:** Sooo…are we locked in here?

**Mori:** Yup…

_Inuyasha is too stupid to figure out to break through the closet when he's being breaking things all day_

**Kris:** _(opens closet)_ Yo, Mori. We need you.

**Razz:** _6/ I dare Mori to tell Kyoya to go shove his notebook up his arse as loudly as humanly possible_

**Mori:** _(goes out and buys a mega-mega phone) (stands right next to Kyoya) _HEY YOU!!!

**Kyoya:** _(looks to Mori)_ Me?

**Mori:** YES YOU, STANDING THERE WITH THE GLASSES, LOOKING STUPID

**Kris:** Whoa, this guy is good

**Hikaru:** Who would have known he held such a grudge against Kyoya

**Kyoya:** What do you want?

**Mori:** SHOVE THAT NOTEBOOK UP YOUR ARSE!!!

**Kyoya:**_ (sarcastically)_ Maybe you should shout a bit louder. I don't think they heard you in the UK.

**Mori:** _(does)_

**People in UK:** Did you hear that? O.o

_Everyone is now deaf_

**Razz:** Next dare- _(muffle, muffle, muffle)_

**Everyone:** Wha? _(muffle muffle muffle)_

Stuff it, this is too hard to write, everyone can hear again.

**Razz:** _7/ I dare Haruhi to kiss Kyoya on the lips for two whole minutes exactly?(and at the same time Kyoya has to run his hands up and down the sides of her body!!)_

_A similar argument as faii-chan's dare 1 takes place and soon, Haruhi and Kyoya are kissing passively while Kyoya reluctantly runs his hands up and down her. This continues for another 3 minutes._

**Kris:** You can stop now, you know…

**Haruhi and Kyoya:** _(stop)_

**Inuyasha:** _(notices everything has magically repaired itself) (begins breaking stuff again)_

**Razz:** _8/I dare Renge to go sit in the corner and pout, drawing swirly lines on the floor like Tamaki_

**Renge:** _(returns from the dead and does so)_

**Razz:** _9/I dare Ranka to attack Kyoya with his make up_

**Ranka:** Oh, Kyoya! _(runs after him with his makeup)_

**Kyoya:** HJGigfqpe9oirjholejitrhl3iryul254o!!!!

_The two run across the room a number of times_

**Hunny and Mei:** _(speed through roof in James Bond car)_

**Kris:** Back so soon?

**Hunny:** _(finishes off fruit and vegies and once again, chases after Inuyasha, trying to stop him)_

**Mei:** We didn't finish. Just too boring. We ran away.

**Kris:** Fair enough

**Razz:** _10/ I dare Nekozawa to kiss Haruhi with his arms wrapped around her waist until they are BOTH unable to breathe?_

_Insert arguments here_

**Nekozawa:** _(glomps Haruhi and Kisses her)_

**Haruhi:** _(can't breathe already)_

**Nekozawa:** _(can breathe fine)_

**Hikaru:** _(puts plastic bag over Nekozawa)_ Don't try this at home, kids.

**Nekozawa:** _(can't breathe either and lets go)_

**Kris:** I got that all on camera, tee hee!

**Tamaki:** _(sulks in corner, next to Renge)_

**Razz:** _11/ I dare Yoshio Ootori to tell Haruhi she is a sexy young girl and then Kyoya has to say something back to his father?_

**Yoshio:** _(falls through roof)_

**Razz:** Popular entryway, that.

**Yoshio:** _(walks over to Haruhi, who is still gasping for air from the encounter with Nekozawa)_ You know, you are a sexy young girl.

**Haruhi:** …h-uh? Wha??

**Kyoya:** Yeah, she I- I mean…you're a pervert, dad.

**Kris:** What were you about to say before the pervert thing?

**Kyoya:** Nothing!

**Kris:** =/

**Kyoya:** _(writes in notebook)_

**Razz:** _12/I dare Yuzuru Souh to have a ** fight with Yoshio?_

**Yuzuru:** _(falls into room and begins fighting Yoshio)_

**Yoshio:** _(runs outside)_

**Yuzuru:** Get back here! _(chases him)_

**Razz:** _13/ I dare Kasonoda to hug Haruhi from behind and whisper in her ear sexily for her to call him Bossa-nova chii?_

**Kasonoda:** _(running away from Hannah Montana's place, also abandoning the French garb) (Hugs Haruhi from behind, nearly squeezing the life out of her)_

**Kris:** Poor Haru's really copping it this round xD

**Kasonoda:** _(whispers in her ear, sexily)_ Just call me Bossa-nova chii.

**Everyone but Haruhi and Kasonoda:** Pimp.

**Hunny:** Monster Cat.

**Tamaki:** Pervert.

**Haruhi:** Umm… Bossa-nova chii…you are squishing too hard…

**Kasonoda:** _(lets go before being chased by his five fangirls around the room)_

**Hayle:** Teehee, get back here, you!

**Child:** Wau! Casanova-kun!

**Tourist:** Take a photo!

**Old lady:** I may be old…but that don't stop me lovin!

**Hannah Montana:** _(says something Hannah Montana would say)_

**Kris:** Its getting a little crazy in here, yo?

**Razz:** _14/ I dare Kyoya to tell Haruhi he loves her and then steal her away in the night from Tamaki?_

_You know the drill_

**Kyoya:** I love you, Haruhi._ (runs away with her)_

**Tamaki:**_ (chases after them)_ Get back here!

**Razz:** _15/ I dare Tamaki to tell Kyoya what he really thinks of Kyoya's father?_

**Tamaki:** _(while chasing after Kyoya)_ Your father is weird!

**Kyoya:** I know!

**Tamaki:** Your mother was a hamster, and your father smells of elderberries!

**Yoshio:** Hey!

_They run past their fathers, who are still fighting_

**Razz:** _16/ I dare the twins to tear of Nekozawa's cape and wig and force him to fall on top of Haruhi?_

**Twins:** _(tear off the wig and robe, exposing his albinoness and throw him out the window and across the school grounds) (he soars through the air, like an albino bird, before he falls on top of Haruhi and Kyoya)_

**The three of them:** Owwwwww…

**Nekozawa:** EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'm melting! I'm melting!_ (melts)_

**Tamaki:** _(catches up)_ That's right, he hates sunlight.

**Tamaki, Kyoya and Haruhi:** _(soak up the melted body into a bucket and cover in dark material. Take it back to school and put in fridge to solidify)_

**Yoshio and Yuzuru:** _(come back into room also, still fighting)_

**Kris:** Ah! Now everyone's in the room again!

**Razz:** _17/ I dare Hunny to give me flowers and cake and ask if he can eat it with me?_

**Hunny:** _(Goes to Faii-chan) (gives flowers and cake)_ Come and eat cakes with me!

**Faii-chan:** _(eats cakes with him)_

**Kris:** Awww, isn't that lovely?

**Razz:** Next dare. _18/ I dare Mori to lift Yoshio off his feet and toss him out the window and in to the pond?_

**Mori:** _(lifts Yoshio off his feet and throws him into the pond)_

**Kris:** This reminds me of an anime I've seen...

**Yuzuru:** _(jumps in after him) _We are not done!

_They are both now fighting in the pond_

**Razz:** _19/ I dare Haruhi to put on a halter dress which comes to just above mid-thigh and comes down to just above her breasts and wear black high heels, put in extensions and straighten her hair, put on make up and wrap her arms around Kyoya as well as her right leg and just when he's about to kiss her jump in to Tamaki's arms and kiss him instead?_

_Insert Haruhi arguing_

**Kris:** Think of your fangirls!

**Haruhi:** _(sighs, puts the dress, heels (borrowed from Kyoya) and extensions in) (puts arms and leg around Kyoya)_

**Kyoya:** _(moves in to kiss Haruhi)_

**Haruhi:** _(runs and jumps into Tamaki's arms, kissing him)_

**Tamaki:** _(all happy)_

**Everyone but Kyoya:** Awww, how sweet.

**Razz:** _20/ I dare Renge to go curl up in a corner and stay there until all my dares have been completed otherwise she's not allowed up?_

**Renge:** _(is still there from Faii-chan dare 8)_

**Razz:** _21/ I dare Ranka to flirt with Yoshio?_

**Ranka:** _(dives into water and begins to flirt with Yoshio. Yuzuru Gets annoyed, as he is supposed to be fighting with Yoshio and tells Ranka to go away)_

**Razz:** _22/ I dare Nekozawa to flirt with Haruhi and he must succeed meaning he has to get a kiss on the lips before he can stop?_

**Nekozawa:**_ (comes out of the fridge)_

**Jaki:** '…comes…out…fridge…'

**Nekozawa:** _(pulls Haruhi away from Tamaki and enchants her in his dark ways. It doesn't take long before the two are making out)_

**Everyone but Haruhi and Nekozawa:** o.O

**Razz:** _23/ I dare Yoshio to do impressions of each of the hosts and then whine to Kyoya that he's hungry, in a really whiny voice?_

**Yoshio:** _(comes out of pond, with Yuzuru tagging behind)_ Okay. Starting with Yuzuru's son _(pulls out red rose) (goes to closest girl, Renge) _Your beauty outshines the flower. You reek of a dead ones covered in mayonnaise.

**Renge:** What's that supposed to mean?! _(Attempts to stand up)_

**Kris:** Uh! You can't move until these dares are done!

**Tamaki:** Hey, I don't say that!

**Renge:** _(sulks)_

**Yoshio:** _(still impersonating Tamaki) (runs after Haruhi)_ Oh! My darling daughter!

**Haruhi:** Arrrrgh!_ (runs)_

**Everybody except Yoshio and Haruhi (including Inuyasha who has rebroken everything):** _(watch them run from side to side)_

**Yoshio:** _(gives up on Haruhi)_ Next, I will impersonate both the twins at once _(pretends to be talking to an invisible person)_ Oh, Hikaru! _(switches positions) _Oh, Kaoru! _(switch)_ Oh my brother…will you marry me…_(switch)_ Yes, ofcorse!

**Everybody but Yoshio:** W. T. F?

**Twins:** We're not gonna marry each other :O

**Haruhi:** He's over-exaggerating everything!

_While being the twins, Yoshio also tries to annoy Tamaki and put Haruhi in a dress_

**Yoshio:** Now for Morinozuka! _(stands in silence for five minutes)_

**Kris:** Whoa, he's good!

**Mori:** …

**Yoshio:** And now for Haninozuka. _(he runs around with a rabbit, asking everyone for sugar)_

**Hunny:** I don't do that! :O

**Faii-chan:** xD

**Yoshio:** And lastly and leastly, my own son! _(pulls out a note book and pretends to make notes. The resemblance is SCARY!)_

**Everyone:** OMG!

**Yoshio:** Goes up to Kyoya: Soooooooooon………I'm huuuuungrrryy! Geeeeeet me something to eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat!

**Kyoya:** Get it your self!

**Yoshio:** _(sulks off to the cupboards)_

**Razz:** _24/ I dare Yuzuru to tell Tamaki that he's fallen in love with Haruhi and is planning on marrying her himself?_

**Yuzuru:** Tamaki! I have something important I need to tell you!

**Tamaki:** What is it?

**Yuzuru:** That little school friend of yours. Fujioka Haruhi, is it? The little cross-dresser?

**Tamaki:** Uhh…yeah?

**Yuzuru:** Well first off, I must tell you that people experience many feelings in life, even at my age. I thought she would make a suitable wife for you, but in the time it has taken you to express your feelings, I must say that I have indeed fallen for her myself. She is quite the charmer and I plan on making her my bride.

**Tamaki:** WHAAAAAAAAAA???!!!

**Everyone but Tamaki and Haruhi:** Ahahahahahaha!

**Razz:** _25/ I dare Kasonoda to name as many of the characteristics he likes about Haruhi in a minute?_

**Kasonoda:**_ (Walks along with all his five concubines hanging off him) (faces Haruhi) (grabs a microphone for some reason and summons the entire school to witness)_ Well let's see…umm…well for starters how you're not scared of me, your eyes are big, your hair is fun to fluff, you play kick the can, the way you laugh sometimes is cute, how you answer stuff right in class, your masculine femininity, you're cute and the way you're not really a guy. (oopsies, I just announced that to a bunch people who didn't know. Sorries ^_^)

**Haruhi:** Really, Bossa-nova chii? I'm flattered (even though you announced me secret to the world…)

**Everyone but Kasonoda, Haruhi and Kasanoda's concubines:** PIMP!

**Razz:** Well, looks like we're done with Faii-chan. Thanks for your time.

**Faii-chan:** _(bows)_

**Razz:** Now the next people are Plumalchemyst and GinGin. All up, they have 20 dares.

**Kris:** _(will be up all night)_

**Razz:** They're good, so here we go…_Tamaki: I dare you to dress like Ayame from FB or fruits basket XD_

**Kris:** lol, snake boy…

**Tamaki:** _(wearing red clothes, with long silver hair)_

**Inuyasha:** Great…now he looks like me…_(notices everything has repaired itself again) (begins to break stuff once again)_

**Hunny:** _(chases Inuyasha again)_

**Razz:** _Twins: We that is my twin pear and I dare you to make out with us_

**Twins:** Sure, okay _(Hikaru makes out with Plumalchemyst, Kaoru makes out with Pear)_

**Razz:** _Hunny: I dare you to call Ed Elric short (throws Ed in the library)_

_(a/n: I've actually only read the first chappie of FMA so far, but I know enough to know he doesn't like being called short)_

**Ed:** _(falls through roof)_

**Hunny:** _(points at Ed)_ Aahaha! Short! _(continues chasing Inuyasha)_

**Ed:** Don't call me short! Who said that?! _(sees Hunny)_ Ha! Like you can talk! You're even shorter! Shorty shorty short short!!! _(chases after Hunny)_

**Inuyasha:** I'm being trailed by midgets!

**Jaki:** '…trailed…by…midgets…'

**Kris:** You're actually quite short too you know. For a guy.

**Inuyasha:** Sht up.

**Razz:** _Mori: I dare you to dress up in a bikini and shake your bum in front of Tamaki thus scarring him for life Pear and I came up with that XD_

**Pretty much everybody:** Oh dear…

**Mori:** _(Sighs. Something along the lines of 'I can't believe I'm doing this' Is distinguished. Soon, he is in the bikini, shaking his butt in front of Tamaki, who is being severely traumatized)_

**Razz:** _Haruhi, I dare you to tell Tamaki your leaving him for the cute and mysterious Nekozawa_

**Haruhi:**_ (approaches Tamaki, who takes his eyes off the butt-shaking Mori)_ Ummmm…Senpai, about our relationship…

**Tamaki:** What's wrong with it?

**Haruhi:** It's nothing…it's just…it lacks…

**Tamaki:** Lacks what?

**Haruhi: **…Well, I want a man who is not afraid when I turn off the lights to sleep at night. A man who doesn't wet the bed. A man who is charming and sweet, yet mystifying and unreadable. A man just like cute and mysterious Umehito Nekozawa.

**Tamaki:** But Haruhi, why?

**Haruhi:** It's just a change of heart…

**Razz:** _Kyoya: I dare you to wear a bikini too and shake your hips to my hips don't lie Clacky tan XD_

**Kyoya:** Wha? Who you calling Clacky t-

**Kris:** On with the bikini, Clackster. Put on your Clacky-Tran heels too, for old times sake

**Kyoya:** Bu-

**Kris:** Just do it!

**Razz:** Should he sing hips don't lie, or just dance?

**Twins (both sets):** Sing and dance!

**Kyoya:** Nooooooooooooooooooooooo……

**Kris:** You'd better…

**Kyoya:** _(sighs. The music starts and he starts dancing sexily. Then he starts to sing)_

_Ladies up in here tonight  
No fighting, no fighting  
We got the refugees up in here  
No fighting, no fighting_

_Shakira, Shakira_

_I never really knew that she could dance like this  
She makes a man wants to speak Spanish  
Como se llama (si), bonita (si), mi casa (si, Shakira Shakira), su casa  
Shakira, Shakira_

_Oh baby when you talk like that  
You make a woman go mad  
So be wise and keep on  
Reading the signs of my body_

_And I'm on tonight  
You know my hips don't lie  
And I'm starting to feel it's right  
All the attraction, the tension  
Don't you see baby, this is perfection_

**Everyone but Kyoya:** Wooooooooooooooooo _(cheer)_

**Kyoya:** _(curtsies)_

_The music starts again_

**Kris:** Just keep doing that Clacky, until you're next needed.

**Kyoya:** _(clacks around)_

**Razz:** _Renge: I dare you to cosplay with me as sailor moon and I'll be mini moon_

**Renge:** _(gets up) (she was still hiding in the corner)_ Yay! Cosplay! _(puts on Sailor Moon outfit)_

**Plumalchemyst:**_ (gets into Mini Moon clothes)_

**Both:**_ (cosplay together)_

**Kris:** (_Looks around room. From the Sailor Moon cosplayers, to the bikini-clad men, to the fb cosplayer, to Kasonoda and his five lovely ladies, to the fighting middle aged men, to the making-out sets of twins, to Haruhi flirting with the cute and mysterious Nekozawa, and to Inuyasha whose breaking stuff, whilst being chased by Hunny whose trying to stop him, whose being chased by Edward Elric for calling him short)_ This place just gets crazier by the minute o.O

**Razz:** _Ranka: Dare you to dress like a guy for once_

**Ranka:** Kay…_(five minutes later has no makeup, has hair trim and is in men's clothes. He actually looks like a man)_

**Everyone:** o.O Whoa…

**Razz:** _Nekozawa: I dare you to walk towards the light and kiss Tamaki on the lips XD_

_(insert various protests)_

**Nekozawa:** _(Slowly and reluctantly walks toward the light)_

**Tamaki:** _(tied to a chair)_

**Nekozawa:** _(kisses him on the lips)_

**Tamaki:** _(dies)_

**Nekozawa:**_ (Also dies from the light)_

**Everyone else:** O_O Disturbing…

**Jaki:** '…disturbing…'

**Razz:** _Kasonoda: I dare you to sing Mary Mary quite contrary_

_Flash to Kasonoda, who's surrounded by his chicks_

**Kasonoda:** _(stands up and clears throat, holding a microphone)_

_Mary Mary quite contrary,  
How does your garden grow?  
With silver bells and cockleshells  
And pretty maids all in a row._

**Hayle, the old lady, the tourist, the child and Hannah Montana:** _(cheer)_

**Kris:** While looking up that song, I found out what the origins were o.O

**Razz:** Really?

**Kris:** Did you know that some people had to be chased to beheaded?

**Razz:** … next dare. _Éclair: I dare you to go get shot by a pimp (i hate that ** i may like scarring Tamaki but he and Haruhi are meant to be damn it)_

**Éclair:** _(walks in like a bitch)_

**Kris:** Now lets see…a pimp…

**Everyone:** Kasonoda.

**Kasonoda:** _(stands like a pimp) (magically gets a gun) (shoots the bitch)_

**Éclair:** _(dies)_

**Everyone:** _(cheers)_

**Kasonoda:** _(bows and leaves with Éclair in a bag) (comes back without the bag and sits in his pimp chair with his five lovely ladies)_

**Razz:** _Lobelia girls: I dare you to leave Haruhi alone for a day and kiss me and my twin pear XD_

**Lobelia girls:**_ (twirl into room, to Plumalchemyst and Pear)_

**Benio:** _(does the whole Benibara-Sama thing)_

**Lobelia girls, Plumalchemyst and Pear:** _(kiss)_

**Razz:** Now these are Gingin's dares  
_Hunny: I dare you to sing I want candy_

**Hunny:** _(stops chasing Inuyasha but is still being chased by Ed, so has to keep running. But he can sing and run at the same time)  
__I know a girl who's tough but sweet  
She's so fine, she can't be beat_

**Ed:**Get back here!

**Hunny:**_ Got everything that I desire  
Sets the summer sun on fire_

_I want Candy, I want Candy_

_Go to see her when her hairs hung down  
Ain't no finer girl in town  
Candy's just what the doctor ordered  
She's so sweet, she makes my mouth water_

_I want Candy, I want Candy_

**Everyone:** _(applaud)_

**Razz:** _Haruhi: dare you to kiss one of the Lobelia girls_

**Haruhi:**_ (sighs and doesn't bother arguing. Seeing that the three Lobelia girls are kissing two others at present, there is one left over. It is Hinako)_

**Hinako:** Kiss me, Haruhi-Chan!

**Haruhi:**_ (sighs and kissed her)_

**Tamaki:** Noooo! Haruhi!

**Ranka:** _(still a man)_ What did I tell you about kissing girls?

**Haruhi:** Arrrrggghhh!_ (is chased)_

**Razz:** _Tamaki: I dare you to eat this gender bender cookie and be a woman_

**Tamaki:** _(walks over)_ Wha?

**Kris:** _(brings out the gender bender cookie)_ Eat it

**Tamaki:** But I don't want to be a girl. I'll end up like Benio

_Screen shot to Benio who is showing off her Lobelia style_

_Shot back_

**Kris:** Aww, c'mon

**Tamaki**: No

**Kris:** Special gender bender cookie all the way from cursed Jusenkyo springs~!

**Tamaki:** No

**Kris:** It will taste good too

**Tamaki:** Really? _(eats cookie)_ Hey, not that bad…_(suddenly sprouts hips and boobs)_ Noooooooooooooooooooo…

**Everyone:** _(point and lol at Tamaki)_

**Razz:** _Clacky tan i mean Kyoya XD: I dare you to sing i kissed a girl and i liked it_

**Kyoya:** My name is not Clacky- _(the rest is muffled from him clacking in his high heels)_

**Kris:** Looks like you gotta sing again, Clacky-Tran

**Hikaru:** How long are you gonna keep that bikini on?

**Kyoya:** Sht up! If anyone should be singing this, it's Benio! _(starts to sing anyway and looks like he's enjoying it)_

_This was never the way I planned  
Not my intention  
I got so brave, drink in hand  
Lost my discretion  
It's not what, I'm used to  
Just wanna try you on  
I'm curious for you  
Caught my attention_

_I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chapstick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it_

_No, I don't even know your name  
It doesn't matter,  
You're my experimental game  
Just human nature,  
It's not what,  
Good girls do  
Not how they should behave  
My head gets so confused  
Hard to obey_

_Us girls we are so magical  
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable  
Hard to resist so touchable  
Too good to deny it  
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent_

**Everyone:** _(cheers)_ He's a natural!

**Kyoya:** _(bows)_

**Razz:** _Twins: I dare you to run around screaming the cake is a lie_

**Twins:** _(run around room, nearly charging into Inuyasha, Hunny and Edward in the process)_ THE CAKE IS A LIE! THE CAKE IS A LIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

**Hunny:** No it's not!

**Edward:** _(catches up with Hunny, yells at him and tries to attempt Alchemy around him, but Hunny has run off after Inuyasha again)_

**Razz**: _Mori: I dare you to die your hair green_

**Mori:** _(was still shaking his butt) (goes into bathroom) (comes back with green hair)_

**Everyone:** O.O

**Razz:** _Renge: I dare you to be medusa_

**Renge:** _(is still in Sailor Moon getup, but grows snakes from her hair anyways. She looks scary) (starts chasing Nekozawa)_

**Nekozawa:** Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!!!

**Razz:** _Nekozawa: This dare is to stop being an emo baby and be in the light without the stupid wig_

**Nekozawa:** Noooooooooooooooooo…_(is still being chased by Renge)_

**Twins:** THE CAKE IS A LIEEEEEEEEEEEE

**Renge:** _(catches up with Nekozawa and takes the wig and stuff off, once again exposing the albinoness) (pushes him into the light)_

**Nekozawa:** I'm meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeltiiiiiiiiing!!! _(melts)_

**Hikaru:**_ (in British accent for some reason)_ It seems He's melted…

**Nekozawa:** _(is put in the fridge again)_

**Razz:** Okay, our next darer is totalanimelover345. She only has one dare.

_I dare Hunny to be really mean to Hauhi for a howl chapter_

**Kris:** Well, most of the chappie is over now. But it can still happen.

**Hunny:** _(runs over to Haruhi, Ed hot on his trail) (raspberry at her)_

**Haruhi:** Huh?

**Hunny:**_ (leaves)_

**Kris:** Whoa, that was so mean!

**Razz:** We're nearly finished guys! Two darers left! The next one is Wolf Cubs.

_T4 dares Hunny to wear a bunny suit and appeal to this dog (beware hes a bunny killer)_

**Hunny:** _(happily gets into bunny suit)_

**Ed:** _(locks Hunny's dog in the closet Mori and Inuyasha were in and puts on a dog suit) (chases Hunny)_

**Hunny:** Aaaaaaa! _(chases Inuyasha) (you get the picture. The cycle continues)_

**Razz:** _and after that he dares tho host club to dance the Haruhi Suzumiya dance_

(note: I don't know much about this anime so I looked it up on youtube)

_Soon, Tamaki is Dressed as Haruhi Suzumiya, Hikaru is the girl with the long orange hair, Kaoru is the girl with the short grey hair and Kyoya and Mori are the school guys. You may have noticed that there are only five people in this but there are seven hosts. Haruhi and Hunny show up randomly throughout the dance._

_(Tamaki is a girl now too, remember?)_

**Tamaki and twins:** _(start dancing)_

**Mori and Kyoya:**_ (Join in)_

**Haruhi:** _(randomly pops in)_

**Hunny:** _(still dressed ad a bunny, runs around)_

**Ed:**_ (still dressed as a dog, chasing Hunny)_

_The dance ends_

**Large audience:** _(applaud)_

**Razz:** _and Din dares Mori to wear a tank top and a mini skirt and have Haruhi do his makeup paint his nails and pretend Hunny is his child_

**Mori:** _(puts on tank top and mini skirt)_

**Haruhi:** _(starts to do his makeup)_

**Ranka:** Hey! That's my makeup you're using!

_Soon, Mori is all done up, pretending Hunny is his child_

**Edward:** _(continues to chase Hunny in the dog costume)_

**Mori:** Stop stalking my child, you ludicrous fool!

**Edward:** _(runs, hides and cowers behind Inuyasha)_

**Razz:** _Kyoya heres a nail gun for the trouble i caused you have fun killing Tamaki_

**Kyoya:** _(gets the nail gun and runs after Tamaki like a mad man) _This is for Kissing me last time, you fool!

**Tamaki:** Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… _(runs)_

**Kris:** Well, we have one more darer and one more dare. Thankyou very much to the people who have read all of this chappie so far!

**Razz:** Okay, the final dare is from xrayjx. And here it is: _Tamaki + Kyoya- Dress up in Pink dresses and sing "beautiful liar-beyonce + shakira" in front of ur dads (hehe)_

**Renge:** _(grabs Tamaki and Kyoya with her Medusa hair and makes them get ready backstage. She then goes and gets their fathers who are still fighting outside)_

**Yoshio, Yuzuru and Renge:** _(go inside with everyone else and sit to watch)_

**Tamaki and Kyoya:** _(appear in sexy pink dresses. Kyoya has the nail gun attached to his upper leg. They don't look too impressed.)_

**Kris:** Now we present to you Beautiful Liar! Souh Tamaki will be singing the part of Beyonce, while Ootori Kyoya will be singing the part of Shakira!

**Yoshio and Yuzuru:** O.O

_The music starts_

**Both:** _Ay, Ay, Ay  
Nobody likes being played  
Beyonce, Beyonce  
Shakira, Shakira (hey)  
_**  
Tamaki:** _He said I'm worth it, his one desire  
Kyoya: I know things about 'em that you wouldn't wanna read about  
Tamaki: He kissed me, his one and only, (yes) beautiful Liar  
Kyoya: Tell me how you tolerate the things that you just found out about_

**Kyoya:**_ You never know  
_**  
Tamaki:**_ Why are we the ones who suffer  
_**  
Kyoya:**_ I have to let go  
_**  
Tamaki:**_ He won't be the one to cry_

**Tamaki:**_ (Ay) Let's not kill the karma  
(Ay) Let's not start a fight  
(Ay) It's not worth the drama  
For a beautiful liar  
_**  
Kyoya:** _Can't we laugh about it  
(Oh) It's not worth our time  
(Oh) We can live without 'em  
Just a beautiful liar_

**Kyoya:** _I trusted him, but when I followed you, I saw you together  
_**Tamaki:** _I didn't know about you then 'till I saw you with him again  
_**Kyoya:**_ I walked in on your love scene, slow dancing  
_**Tamaki:**_ You stole everything, how can you say I did you wrong_

**Kyoya:**_ You never know  
_**Tamaki:**_ When the pain and heartbreak's over  
_**Kyoya:** _I have to let go  
_**Tamaki:**_ The innocence is gone_

**Everyone:** _(cheer)_

**Kris:** Well done guys!

**Kyoya:** Hmm…I'd like to see you try to crack a dare sometime, Kris

**Kris:** Huh?

**Kyoya:** All you do is run this, you don't actually make any dares. I bet you can't.

**Inuyasha:** _(to Kyoya)_ Not a good Idea. She posts every time in Mizuki's Q&A thread. I know from experience.

**Kyoya:** But still…

**Inuyasha:** Don't say I didn't warn you!

**Kyoya:** Heh, whatever you dare is nothing I can't handle.

**Kris:** Oh?

**----Five minutes later----**

_Kyoya is standing in front of the entire school in a purple dinosaur costume_

**Kyoya:** _(sigh)_ Do I have to?

**Kris:** Yes

**Kyoya:** _(reluctantly starts singing into the microphone)_

_I love you  
you love me  
we're a happy family_

**Everyone:** ahahahahahahaha!

**Kyoya:** _(continues)_

_with a great big hug and a kiss  
from me to you  
wont you say you love me too!_

_I love you  
you love me  
we're best friends as friends should be  
with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you  
wont you say you love me too!_

**Audience:** _(cheer for barney Kyoya)_

**Inuyasha:** Zomg, the evil overlord of darkness O.O

**Kris:** lol, that picture!

**Ed and Inuyasha:**_ (return to their own Animes)_

**Razz:** Well it seems that's all for now!

**Jaki:** '…all…for…now…"

**Kris:** Yup, really long chappie this time. Thankyou to all who read.

**Razz:** Be sure to submit your questions and dares!

**Kris:** The more ridiculous, the better!

**Razz:** And don't be afraid to invite peeps from other anime and manga, to help humiliate anyone from OHSHC!

**Kris:** Get those reviews in now! See you next time!

**Twins:** THE CAKE IS A LIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


	5. Trojan Bunnies!

_**CHARLIECHICK NOTE: Ouran High belongs to Hatori Bisco. Everyone else belongs to themselves.**_

_**Warning: May contain offensive material if you like Twilight or Amy Winehouse**_

**HOST CLUB TRUTH OR DARE**

**FITH INSTALLMENT – TROJAN BUNNIES!**

**Kris:** After a very long (and uneventful) break, we are finally back! (Sorry everybody, don't kill meeeeeee~!)

**Host club peeps:** Nooooooo!

**Kris:** So here we are!

**Kaoru:** Hmmmm…and where exactly _is_ here?

**Kris:** This would be my bedroom. It's the school holidays.

**Kyoya:** It's awfully small…

**Kris:** It's not meant for a whole group of people to be swarming in. But a whole bunch were in here last night. Had a bunch of friends over for my 16th. Very much fun.

**Hunny:** Was there cake?

**Kris:** It was a party; of corse there was cake! There's still plenty in the fridge if you want…

**Hunny:** _(wants) (runs to the kitchen)_

**Haruhi:** Where are those other two?

**Kris:** Razz is in Queensland and Jaki is camping. They've abandoned me. Those bitches…(J/k, love you guys xD)

**Tamaki:** Shall we start?

**Kris:** Read the first one

**Tamaki:** This is from Twilight Winter Rose- _I have a dare for all the male hosts: I dare you to confess your love to Haruhi! (P.S. I love you Mori!)_

**Male Hosts:** We love you Haruhi!

**Haruhi:** Thanks…I don't love you…

**Kris:** Awww, so mean Haruhi XP Waitasec…How come you all confessed together? Are you all shy guys?

**Kaoru:**…Look! A butterfly!

_All attention goes to butterfly_

**Kris:** That's not a butterfly, that's a moth, you retard

**Kaoru:** Shut up _

**Tamaki:** Next up is Michieru Berujironu!  
_I'M BACK AT LAST! (the flames of Hell fires up behind him)... Whoopsy. Did anyone get burned back there? _

**Kyoya:** _(scowls as his clothes get burned off. Gasp)_

**Tamaki:** _Haruhi: I dare you to persuade Kyoya into hiring a hitman that will kill both Éclair and Tamaki's grandmother. I also dare you sing Pink's Stupid Girls while wearing a punk attire that you would look sexy in XD_

**Haruhi:** Sure! _(approaches Kyoya)_ Ummm…Sempai…put some clothes on…

**Kyoya:** _(Does)_

**Haruhi:** Do you have a hitman I can use?

**Kyoya:** What for?

**Haruhi:** _(shows the dare)_

**Kyoya:** Ugh…I hate those two…Here you go…

_The Hitman arrives. He calls himself 'Sexy Ninja Assassin' and looks strikingly similar to that bird from Sesame Street, but brandishing a bazooka and knives. He glides off to wreak havoc unto those he's been offered._

**Kris:** I'm baaaaaack!

**Hikaru:** You were gone?

**Kris:** I was at the punk shop getting punk attire Haruhi would look sexy in.

**Haruhi:** Kay _(gets changed then starts singing)_

_Stupid girl, stupid girls, stupid girls  
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back  
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl_

_Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there  
Laughing loud so all the little people stare  
Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne  
(Drop a name)  
What happened to the dreams of a girl president  
She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent  
They travel in packs of two or three  
With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees  
Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?  
Oh where, oh where could they be?_

_Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back  
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl  
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back  
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl_

_(Break it down now)  
Disease's growing, it's epidemic  
I'm scared that there ain't a cure  
The world believes it and I'm going crazy  
I cannot take any more  
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in  
That will never be me  
Outcasts and girls with ambition  
That's what I wanna see  
Disasters all around  
World despaired  
Their only concern  
Will they **** up my hair_

**Everyone:** _(applaud)_ Well done, Haruhi!

**Haruhi:** _(bows)_

**Tamaki:** _Tamaki: I dare you to declare your love to Haruhi while wearing a- _WHAT?!

**Kyoya:** _(Peers over paper)_ Ballerina's tutu.

**Tamaki:** Ha! But where will we find one?

**Kris:** I have two from when I did Ballet!

**Tamaki:** Noooooooo…

**----10 minutes later----**

_Tamaki is clad in a pretty lemon yellow tutu. He also is wearing the respective tiara and Pointe shoes._

**Kris:** Hey, I didn't think it would actually fit! And it looks surprisingly good on you too!

**Tamaki:** I feel prettier than that time I wore that pretty red dress!

**Everyone:** …

**Tamaki:** What? You guys all did it too!

**Everyone:** …

**Kris:** Alrighty! Lets do this! _(pulls Haruhi into room, in front of Tamaki)_

**Tamaki:** Haruhi…I must confess-

**Haruhi:** What the heck are you wearing?!

**Kris:** You're right. The yellow brings out his hair too much. _(makes Tamaki change into the tutu the lead swan in swan lake wears)_ Right. Continue xD

**Tamaki:** _(rambles away)_

**Haruhi:** _(thinking)_ _Are those feathers?_

**Tamaki:** _(whispering something)_

**Haruhi:** _(thinking) Now he looks even more ridiculous…_

**Tamaki:** _(is now chanting something and marching on the spot)_

**Haruhi:** _(still thinking) I'm finding it hard to keep a straight face…_

**Tamaki:** _(singing for some reason(OFF-KEY)):…and that is why I must confess I love youuuuuu~!_

**Haruhi:** _…(snort)…(chuckle)…(giggle)…_BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHA!AHAHA! I swear, I have never seen something so ridiculous in my life! AHAHAHAHA!!!

**Tamaki:** _(emo ballerina in the corner)_

**Kris:** I'll read these next ones then…  
_Kyoya: From Resident Evil 4, I give you the Chicago Typewriter, a tommy gun with infinite ammo. Now go kill all who called you Clacky and made you a transvestite! (Except Hunny if he was part of it, which I severely doubt he was, but I must protect my most favourite character after all -_- _Oh dear, I'm in trouble!

**Kyoya:** _(Does what he is told and Kills pretty much everyone but Hunny, who never called him 'Clacky' or 'Tranny' or anything of the like in the first place)_

**Hunny:** _(eating cake)_ Now what?

**Kyoya:** _(reads next dare)_ _Hikaru and Kaoru: I dare you two to go in the closet with each other for the entire chapter (unless called out for other dares and stuff) and... well the rest is up to you.  
_A bit problematic, seeing as I just killed them, heh ^.^

**Twins:** _(spirits come and haunt Kyoya before returning to bodies along with everyone else)_

**Kyoya:** _(sigh) _Why must all good dreams end?

**Kris:** You messed up my room, you bitch!

**Kyoya:** It was already like this

**Kris:** ……good point……….but shut up.

**Hikaru:** "Scuse me, but where must my brother and I go?

**Kris:** Ah, in here. I'm moving rooms right now, so there's no clothing in there, plenty of room to sit!

**Twins:** …Yeah…sit…_(move inside wardrobe) (lots of movement is heard)_

**Kris:** o.O

**Kyoya:** Next dare. `_Hunny: I dare you to crush any sour candies you find while waving a flag that says I Love Cake around for all to see._

**Hunny:** Yaya! _(does just that)_ Sour candies are yucky! Cake is cool!

**Kyoya:** _Mori: I dare you to lead a crusade against Lobelia Academy. Your reason... Benio has just kidnapped Haruhi and is planning to brainwash her into becoming one of their students. You must save her!_

**Mori:** Really?

**Kris:** Why yes!

_Haruhi is actually out in the farmyard still laughing about the tutu incident_

**Mori:** …We should save her…

**Kyoya:** _Benio: Looks like you're stuck leading a defensive force to keep Mori from getting to Haruhi, aren't you?_

**Benio:**_ (live from lobelia academy) _Say what? Haruhi? Where?

**Kyoya:** May this battle commence

**Kris:** So…How will you save Haruhi?

**Kyoya:** Well, seeing as the twins are in the closet and Tamaki is still pissed off it's not many people. _(summons Kasonoda, Nekozawa and Renge)_

**Kasonoda:** Haruhi's been captured? How will we get her back?

**Hunny:** I have a plan…

**Ranka:** I insist of being involved

**Nekozawa:** _Ranka: I dare you to stay out of the war mentioned above. Now that you won't get in the way... I also dare you to find Kyoya's father, drag him in a nearby bathroom/closet, and make out with him._

**Everyone:** Ewwwwwww…

**Ranka:** Well okay! _(pulls Yoshio along behind and opened up closet only to reveal the twins playing card snap.)_

**Hikaru:** SNAP!!!

**Kaoru:** No! I lost to you again! You're too good at this, Hikaru_…(looks up at the two men) _Umm…do you mind? We're trying to play…

**Ranka:** no, not at all, the more the merrier! _(tries to pull Yoshio in, but they don't all fit)_ Then lets go to the bathroom!

**Kris:** WAIT! Not my bathroom, you sickos

**Ranka:** Where then?

**Kris:** There's a nice big furniture store down the street, I'm sure you can find somewhere there

**Ranka:** Okay! _(leaves with Yoshio)_

**Kyoya:** _(to Hunny)_ You were going to tell us your plan?

**Hunny:** Yes, here it is _(whisper, whisper, whisper)_

**----Three hours later----**

_A giant Trojan bunny much like the one from holy grail is being towed into the Lobelia grounds. Unlike the one from holy grail however, the people are actually inside it_

**Hunny:** _(singing)_ Bunny, bunny, bunny ~! We are in a bunny~

**Kyoya:** Shut up! They'll hear you!

**Renge:** It looks so cute!

**Nekozawa:** But why is it not a cat

**Renge:** Because it was Hunny's idea!

**Michieru Berujironu:** _(also decided to come along. Who wouldn't want to miss out on something like this?)_

**Mori:** …

**Kasonoda:** It's a bit cramped-

**Kris:** Ow! You stepped on my shoulder, klutz!

**Kasonoda:** Shoulder?

**Kyoya:** Shush! Ah, they're taking us inside!

_As the bunny enters the school, various cries of 'cute!' and 'kawaii~!" can be heard from the girls. Then, Benio's voice is heard._

**Benio:** How wonderful! Take it to the theatre, it can be used in a production

**Captain Mori:**_ (whisper)_ Ready?

**Everyone:** _(nod)_

**Captain Mori:** Alright men, let's move out…CHARGE!!!

**Everyone:**_ (charges against the Lobelia academy, searching for Haruhi)_

_Meanwhile, Haruhi…_

**Haruhi:**_ (still in the farm)_ AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…Senpai in that dress just…AHAHAHAHA…

**----Several confusing hours later----**

_Everyone is back in the bedroom. The bunny is parked outside._

**Kris:** I swear I had no idea she was only in the farm

**Everyone:** _(glare)_

**Kris:** Honest!

**Haruhi:** _(tries not to laugh)_ Right, I'll read the next one.  
_Renge: I dare you to be target practice for one of my favourite characters of anime history... Alucard from Hellsing... Let's see if she can survive this XD _

**Alucard:** _(drops in from ceiling)_

**Kris:** _(looks him up on Absolute Anime)_ Wow. Old.

(Note: I don't know this series well, so sorry if I get the characterisation wrong)

**Alucard:**_ (looks around room) (points to Renge)_ You, weak vampire. Rise.

**Everyone:** Since when was she a vampire? O.O

**Renge:** _(Stands)_

**Alucard:** _(pulls out Joshua and aims)_ Okay, now I need you to stand back a bit…back a bit…back a bit…now stop! 'Kay now move over to the right a bit. More, more, more, more-stop! A bit too far, edge to the left a bit. Perfect! Now…_(shoots) _and that's how you do it! _(makes himself at home, sitting watching the football)_

**Kris:** _(claps) _Well done!

**Haruhi:** I thought you liked Renge

**Kris:** But he has good aim!

**Kyoya:** _Nekozawa: I dare you to put this gun to your head and kill yourself. (The gun is secretly an evoker from a game I like named Persona 3, so when he "kills himself." a great monster begins attacking Tamaki... I'm making you do research, aren't I?)_

**Nekozawa:** _(secretly aspiring to become as good a gunman as Alucard and thinks this will be great target practice. Little does he know that in most cases, this is called suicide)_ I'll do it! _(pulls trigger)_

_On the other side of the room, Tamaki is still being emo about the Tutu incident. And he's still wearing the tutu. Suddenly, a Drop bear glomps him. It smells like alcohol and looks a lot like Amy Winehouse. _

**Tamaki:** Argh! Get it off! Get it off! _(runs around, trying to sake it off. But fails)_

**Kasonoda:** Nice aim

**Nekozawa:** Thankyou

**Tamaki:** _(continues running around with Amy Winehouse, disrupting Alucard's TV watching)_

**Alucard:** _(throws shoe at Tamaki in very middle eastern way)_

**Tamaki:** _(dodges in very George W. Bush sort of way)_

_And the craziness continues. And we've only done two people's dares._

**Kyoya:** Last dares- _Kris: I dare you to do research on anything you didn't already know_

**Kris:** Oh, a dare for me! Problem is I already know everything…

**Phone:** _(ring, ring)_

**Kris:** _(picks up)_ Hello?

**Razz:** _(live from Queensland)_ Liar! _(hangs up)_

**Kris:** Alrighty then, I'll find something.

**Dead Renge:** But what?

**Kris:** I'll let you know if it becomes relevant _(wink)_

**Kyoya:** And this is also for Kris _Ok, and for the actual story, I dare you to tear Éclair's head off._

**Sesame Street Bird Sexy Ninja Assassin:** _(comes in with Éclair's dead body)_

**Kris:** But she's already dead…

**Sesame Street Bird Sexy Ninja Assassin:** All you have to do is take off the head. The rest is done.

**Kris:** Why thankyou, Sesame Street Bird Sexy Ninja Assassin! _(high fives)_

**Sesame Street Bird Sexy Ninja Assassin:** No problem

**Kris:** _(tugs at the head. It comes of really easily and with a 'pop') _Hmmm…It feels really plastic…and look it there, that's hollow! What do you know…she really was a barbie thing!

**Kyoya:** I knew it!

**Kris:** Good onya, Clacky

**Kyoya:** Than-what?

**Michieru Berujironu:** The harbringer of violence shall now leave, but be warned. Come the next chapter, I will plague your door again.

**Kris:** Thankyou for contributing! See you next time!

**Tamaki:** Get it off! Get it off!

**Alucard:** Shut up or you'll be my new target practice!

**Tamaki:** Eep!

**Haruhi:** Next we have Ninja-Neko-Chan. And here are her dares  
_Haha, I love your story...but I gotta cut to the dares. *grins*  
1. Mori...remember this? *brings in more cake* have fun! (no cheating) _

**Mori:** …_(only just finished the first one)_

**Hunny:** Oohh! I want some!

**Haruhi:** _2. Hunny, You have to watch him...but your aloud one bite only_

**Hunny:** Owww, only one?

**Kris:** One is better than none

**Hunny:** _(grumble) (one bite of cake)_

**Haruhi:** _3. Kyoya, I'm going to give you a break from singing...get back in those heels and strut your stuff! You're going to be in the next issue of the Hitachiin's magazine. Congrats ^0^_

**Kyoya:** _(CLACK!)_

**Kris:** That's the stamp of approval, lets do this!

**Kyoya:** You and your lame puns…

**Kris:** No pun intended

**Kyoya:** …I still wont do it

**Kris:** You think you have a say in the matter

**Kyoya:** I'm not going to let you put them on me!

**Kris:** Good, 'cause I'm not gonna, seeing as they're already on…

**Kyoya:** What? Noooooo…

**Twins:** _(come out of closet with cameras)_ Strut it, Clacky!

**Kyoya:** You can't make me!

**Hikaru:** Oh, yes we can

**----10 minutes later----**

_Kyoya is grudgingly strutting his stuff while the twins take photos _

**Kaoru:** Great shot! This one is going to make the front page…

**Haruhi:** Alright then, next dare.  
_4. Tamaki, your going back to "granny's" to face the music...oh and you HAVE to tell her Haruhi is your so called "daddy's little girl" (note: You can mention her age) _

**Tamaki:** _(still with Amy Winehouse)_ Okay then

**Haruhi:** But I'm not your 'daddies little girl'!

**Tamaki:** _(has already left) (comes back a few moments later with a broken arm)_ She sure knows how to use a handbag…ARRRGH! Still one me_…(continues trying to shake Amy Winehouse off)_

**Haruhi:** _5. Hey Haruhi~! I've got a nice sweet lolita dress for you to wear. That is all. (Although no one can get as close as 10 feet to you while your in it)_ _(reads over dare)_ no

**Twins:** _(finish photographing Clacky)_ Haruhi~! _(Put her in the sweet Lolita dress)6. Twins! You have the best dare. You're the only ones that can get close to Haruhi. (sorry Haruhi) Show Tamaki how menacing you two can be. _Sure thing!

**Tamaki:** Noooooo, get away from my daughter! _(goes back to the infamous corner)_

**Kris:** That's all from Ninja-neko-chan. Thankyou very much for your dares.

**Twins:** Haruhi~! Come into the closet and play card snap with us!

**Haruhi:** Nooooooooooooooo_(voice trails off as closet door closes)_

**Kris:** Damn, poor kid. Up next we have Rowangirl96. Mori, you can do the honours.

**Mori:** (gets up from cake) _Love your story. By the way . . . THANK YOU FOR HAVING GOOD GRAMMAR! I can't read half the stuff online cuz no one seems to know what spell check is._

**Kris:** Thankyou. I learned from the best, and spell checker is my best friend.

**Mori:** _Anyways, here are MY dares (be afraid host club. Be VERY afraid! Mwahahaha!)_

**Everyone:** _(gulp)_

**Mori:** 1. _Tamaki must run around the school, in a fluffy dress, telling everyone he sees that he is "a pretty princess"._

**Everyone but Tamaki:** Bahahahaha!!!

**Tamaki:** Fine! _(gets out of ballerina tutu and into fluffy dress) (runs to his dad)_ I'm a pretty princess!

**Yuzuru:** …

**Tamaki:** _(runs to his granny)_ I'm a pretty princess!

**Tamaki Granny:** (bitchslap)

_Tamaki continues to run around telling everybody on the planet you can humanly think of that he is a pretty princess_

**Mori:** _2. Kyoya must confess his love for Tom Cruise. Then Tom Cruise has to blow up in his face._

**Kyoya:** _(clacks over)_ I like his movies

**Kris:** Say it.

**Kyoya:** Fine, I love Tom Cruise

**Kris:** Bahahahahahaha!

**Kyoya:** What's so funny?

**Tom Cruise:** _(comes and blows up in Kyoya's face)_ That's right, bitch

**Kris:** Gasp…

**Mori:** _3. Haruhi must go out and tell random people to "Spread the love."_

**Haruhi:** _(leaves closet, still wearing most of the Lolita dress)_

**Kris:** What type of poker were you playing

**Haruhi:** Just the normal kind

**As the closet doors shut again, The twins are briefly seen wearing part of Haruhi's dress**

**Haruhi:** Fine, I'll go do this spread the love thing…_(goes to Tom Cruise)_ Spread the love! _(goes to Alucard) _Spread the love!

**Tamaki:**_ (also goes over to Alucard)_ I'm a pretty princess!

**Alucard:** WTF?

_This continues to happen as the two travel together spreading the love and being pretty princesses_

**Mori:** _4. Kaoru must be put in room filled with Edward Cullen fangirls for one hour_

**Kaoru:** _(comes out)_ I have to do whaa?

**Kris:** _(places hand on Kaoru's shoulder)_ God be with you. This is by far most tedious dare there has been as of yet

**Kaoru:** _(is kicked into a room full of Edward Cullen Fangirls)_ eep!

**Haruhi:** Poor guy…

**EC Fangirls:** OMG!!!!OMG!!!

**EC fangirl 1:** I Love Edward the most!

**EC Fangirl 2:** Nah, nah, I do!

**EC Fangirl 1:** Liar!

**EC Fangirl 3:** I did a test of my name and Edwards and we match 97%!

**EC Fangirls 1 & 2:** You bitch!

**Kaoru:** Get me outta heeeeeeeeeeereeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

**Kris:** Yup, poor guy…

**Mori:** _5. Hikaru must dress up as a Edward Cullen fangirl and confess his love to Robert Patterson. (ew, he's icky. Have fun with that Hikaru! )_

**Hikaru:** Noooooooooo…He's fugly…

**Kris:** Think of poor Kaoru

**Hikaru:** Fine! _(comes to supre to find a suitable twilight shirt)_

**Kris:** I can't believe I'm actually helping someone with this…lets see, we have "I kissed a vampire and I liked it", "Forget Princess, I want to be a vampire", "I [heart] Edward Cullen", and "I like boys that sparkle"

(Note from the charliechick: I am not kidding, there are actually shirts that say that in supre. IMO they may as well say "I'm an obsessed fangirl" or something. Yup. I'm not a Twilight fan. Gasp.)

**Renge:** They're so cool!

**Hikaru:** Do I really have to wear one

**Kris:** Unfortunately. You know, If I had to design one it would say: "Twilight: 'Cause getting together with your ex-crush's daughter is totally not weird at all "

**----Meanwhile----**

**Alucard:** _(still watching TV)_ What does it mean by 'boys that sparkle'

**Haruhi:** The twilight series. It's about vampires and stuff. When they go out in the sun, they sparkle.

**Alucard:** What?!

**Haruhi:** I know...

**Alucard:** Vampires don't sparkle!

**Haruhi:** Hey, they're back

_Hikaru, Renge (even though she's dead) and Kris enter. Hikaru has gotten the 'I [heart] Edward Cullen' shirt. Renge has gotten it too, but on her own free will_

**Hikaru:** I'm going in.

**Kris:** Good luck

**Hikaru:**_ (enters room of fangirls)_

**Kaoru:** Hikaru! Its you! It's really you! This is like a nightmare and- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING, HIKARU?!

**Hikaru:** …sorry…dare…

**EC Fangirl 2:** OMG~! I love your shirt!

**Hikaru:** …I LOVE ROBERT PATTISON!!!

**EC Fangirl 1:** But we all do

**Hikaru:** Kidding. _(takes of shirt)_ Twilight sucks

**EC Fangirls:** WHAT????

**Twins:** ATRRRRGHHH! _(are being chased by crazy Twilight fangirls)_

**Kaoru:** _(pant) (pant)_ What do we do, Hikaru? _(pant)_

**Hikaru:** _(pant)_ I have a cunning plan…_(points to the sky) _LOOK! EDWARD CULLEN NAKED!!!!

**EC Fangirls:** _(turn and look)_

**Twins:** _(sneak away) (enter room and are applauded)_

**Kaoru:** Never again!

**Kris:** Next dare! _6. Mori and Hunny have to sing 'I want candy dead'_

**Hunny:** But I don't want candy dead!

**Kris:** You mean you want to eat it alive? Just do it.

_Music starts_

**Hunny:** _Will somebody answer the f***ing phone? Good Lord.  
Hello?  
_**Mori:**_ Hey Justin.  
_**Hunny:** _My name isn't Justin.  
_**Mori:** _Hey. It's Aaron.  
_**Hunny:** _That's great.  
_**Mori:** _I can't come out tonight.  
_**Hunny:**_ What?  
_**Mori:**_ I'm going to see this girl.  
_**Hunny:** _But I thought we were gonna have an orgy.  
_**Mori:** _No. No. Her name is Candy.  
_**Hunny:** _I don't care what her name is.  
_**Mori:** _She's real cute. I gotta go. See ya.  
_**Hunny:**_ What? Oh, hell no.  
_**Mori:**_ I know a girl who's tough but sweet.  
_**Hunny:**_ More like sour.  
_**Mori:** _She's so fine she can't be beat.  
_**Hunny:**_ I'll fucking beat her.  
_**Mori:**_ She's got everything that I desire.  
_**Hunny:**_ Yeah, well she's missing a few inches.  
_**Mori:** _Set the summer sun on fire.  
_**Hunny:**_ I'll light her on fire.  
_**Mori:**_ I want Candy.  
_**Hunny:**_ Ew.  
_**Mori:** _I want Candy.  
_**Hunny:**_ I didn't know you liked the taco.  
_**Mori:**_ I want Candy.  
_**Hunny:** _Are you sure it's not Randy?  
_**Mori:**_ I want Candy.  
_**Hunny:** _I'll kill that bitch.  
_**Mori:** _Go to see her when the sun goes down.  
_**Hunny:**_ You always told me you were going to the bathroom.  
_**Mori:** _Ain't no finer girl in town.  
_**Hunny:** _'Cause she's a slut.  
_**Mori:** _You're my girl, what the doctor ordered.  
_**Hunny:**_ I didn't know you could have a skank as a prescription.  
_**Mori:**_ So sweet she makes my mouth water.  
_**Hunny:**_ 'Cause my cock was in your mouth last night.  
_**Mori:**_ I want Candy.  
_**Hunny:** _Yeah, candy penis.  
_**Mori:**_ I want Candy.  
_**Hunny:** _You're gonna smell like fish.  
_**Mori:** _I want Candy.  
_**Hunny:**_ Bitch, you're not Willy Wonka.  
_**Mori:** _I want Candy.  
_**Hunny:**_ She's just a loose-pussied ho.  
_**Mori:**_ Hey.  
_**Hunny:**_ What?  
_**Mori:**_ Hey.  
_**Hunny:**_ What?!  
_**Mori:**_ Hey.  
_**Hunny:**_ Why do you keep saying hey?  
_**Mori:**_ Hey.  
_**Hunny:** _Stop it.  
_**Mori:**_ Hey.  
_**Hunny:**_ What is this hey?  
_**Mori:** _Hey.  
_**Hunny:**_ Stop it.  
_**Mori:**_ Hey.  
_**Hunny:** _I will kill you. Shut up.  
_**Mori:**_ Hey.  
Candy on the beach, there's nothing better.  
_**Hunny:** _Oh, gag me with a spoon.  
_**Mori:** _But I like Candy when it's wrapped in a sweater.  
_**Hunny:** _Well, isn't that kinky.  
_**Mori:** _Someday soon I'll make you mine.  
_**Hunny:** _You're a cockeye, I don't want you.  
_**Mori:** _Then I'll have Candy all the time.  
_**Hunny:** _You'll have the smell of fish all the time.  
_**Mori:** _I want Candy.  
_**Hunny:**_ It's not even Halloween.  
_**Mori:** _I want Candy.  
_**Hunny:** _She's not even a real girl.  
_**Mori:**_ I want Candy.  
_**Hunny:**_ Great. Let's go to Wal-Mart and get some.  
_**Mori:**_ I want Candy.  
_**Hunny:**_ Oh, God, we get the point.  
_**Mori:**_ Candy in the morning time.  
_**Hunny:**_ Ew.  
_**Mori:**_ Candy in the hot sunshine.  
_**Hunny**_: Ew.  
_**Mori:** _Candy, baby, can't you see?  
_**Hunny:** _No.  
_**Mori:**_ All I want is your Candy!  
_**Hunny:**_ Gross  
_**Mori:**_ Candy in the morning time.  
_**Hunny:**_ Ew.  
_**Mori:** _Candy in the hot sunshine.  
_**Hunny:** _Ew.  
_**Mori:** _Candy, baby, can't you see?  
_**Hunny:** _No.  
_**Mori:** _All I want is your Candy!  
Hey.  
_**Hunny:** _Oh, not again.  
_**Mori:**_ Hey.  
_**Hunny:** _Shut up.  
_**Mori:**_ Hey. All I want is your Candy!  
Hey.  
_**Hunny:** _Shut up.  
_**Mori:** _Hey.  
_**Hunny:** _I will kill you....I will kill you with my eyeliner  
_**Mori:** _Hey.  
Hey. All I want is your Candy!  
_**Hunny:**_ I'll kill that bitch, too!_

**Audience:** _(applaud)_

**Kris:** LMAO, that was hilarious xD Thankyou, Rowangirl for those dares. Up next, we have Kinkitsune01!  
_A question/truth/whatever: What do you guys think of your English-Dub voices? Do you think they did a good job? _

**Haruhi:** I'm pretty happy with mine. It's different from the Japanese, but its similar to how I imagined I'd sound

**Tamaki:** As for me, I sound a bit like that midget from last chapter

**Ed Elric:** _(inter-dimensional scowl)_

**Tamaki:** A gay version of that midget mind you, but similar nonetheless. Why do they make me sound gay? Isn't it pretty clear I'm not gay?

**Kris:** Oh?

**Tamaki:** I'm a pretty princess!

**Kris:** Come to think of it, you kinda do…

**Kyoya:** _(clacks in)_ I couldn't mind less, really…

**Kris:** Have you seen the English dub?

**Kyoya:** …

**Hikaru:** I sound great! And so does Kaoru!

**Kaoru:** We both sound wonderful!

**Hunny:** I sound too much like a girl!

**Mori:** …I sound cool

**Renge:** I think I sound wonderful!

**Nekozawa:** I don't think I sound scary enough

**Kasonoda:** I sound angry…

**Kris:** You're supposed to

**Kasonoda:** Oh

**Éclair's head:** I sound like the main character guy from one piece and the main character chick from xxxholic

**Everyone:** …

**Kris:** _(checks wikipedia)_ OMG!!! That's weird…and you all sound like people from FMA, Tsubasa and One Piece…

**Everyone:** omgwtf

**Haruhi:** Here's the next dare-  
_Now, a dare. -evil smirk- Kyoya, I dare you to kiss Tamaki on the lips. _

**Kyoya:** _(clacks over)_ I guess there's no point in arguing?

**Kris:** Nup

**Twins:** _(spy out of closet with cameras)_

**Kyoya:** Damn…right, you! Lets get this done with! _(grabs Tamaki and kisses him)_

**Tamaki:** wtf?

**Haruhi:** wtf?

**Kris:** wtf?

**Hunny:** wtf?

**Some guy named Joe:** wtf?

**Mori:** WTF?

**Twins:** BBQ?!

**Kris:** That was slightly more enthusiastic than expected. Makes me worry, hey Clacky.

**Kyoya:** Shit up. I just wanted to get this daunting task over and done with as soon as possible.

**Everyone else:** Suuuuuuuuuure…

**Kyoya:** _(glare)_

**Haruhi:** That's all from Kinkitsune01

**Kris:** Thankyou very much! Next up we have….Siren of the Sand!

**Tamaki:** I wanna read them!

**Kris:** Go ahead

**Tamaki:** _Lol! This is Funny! I have two dares and one truth.  
Dares:  
1. I dare everyone to do the Lucky Star cheerleading dance. You have to wear the outfits too!_

**Kris:** Everybody? Does that include non host club members?

**Non host club members:** No, no! Not at all…

**Kris:** I think it does…

**Non host club members:** Does that include you?

**Kris:** ………I've seen a bit of lucky star before. My brother's friend borrowed it and they watched it together. Because it's a very boyish anime [/sarcasm]

**Haruhi:** And how will we learn it?

**Kris:** Youtube, duh

_After watching it on youtube_

**Kris:** …I think all my brain cells just died…

**Tamaki:** But there's only 10 of them and a whole bunch of us

**Kris:** That's enough room for the entire host club plus three…hmmm…Nekozawa, Kasonoda and Mei

**Mei:** Why me?

**Renge:** Why not me?

**Kris:** Fine, switch places if you want.

**Haruhi:** And what are the rest you gonna do?

**Kris:** Uhhhh…we'll just stand there in the background. It will look effective, trust me.

**Alucard and Sesame Street Bird Sexy Ninja Assassin:** Do we have to as well?

**Kris:** Yes

**Kasonoda:** 'Nd who are we performing it to?

**Kris:** The school I guess…

**----One hour later----**

_The school is watching. The host club, Nekozawa, Kasonoda and Renge are in cheerleading costumes. Everyone else is just standing behind them, doing nothing. The main four are Nekozawa, Clacky, Haruhi and Mori- all picked by Kris._

_The music starts_

**10 performers:**_ (start dancing and singing)_ I buy sausage! Duck-a-deee-do-dooo-mo-nar!

**People in background:**_ (sweat drop)_

**Kris:** Omg, they're even worse than I thought…

**----Later… ----**

**Tamaki:** Well that went well!

**Kyoya:** I swear I'll kill the next person who makes me wear girls clothing…

**Kris:** next dare! _2. I dare Kyoya to tell the whole school that he is in love with Tamaki. (It has to be as sappy and romantic as possible.)_

**Kyoya:** No! That kiss was more than enough, now this?!

**Kris:** The darer is always right! Now get your butt out there while the whole school is still gathered!

**Kyoya:** Sappy?! Romantic?!

**Kris:** Here, eat this jellybean…

**Kyoya:** A jellybean won't help me do this preposterous dare!

**Kris:** 'S that so? Here, I'll help you out. Take this com set and repeat every word I say

**Kyoya:** _(takes com set) _Fine

**Kris:** Now get your butt out there, Clacky! _(kicks him on stage)_

**Kyoya:** _(flies onto stage) (stands up and looks out at audience)_ Ummm…hi

**Kris:** _(through com set)_ 'Kay, now repeat after me…'Hello all, there is something I must confess…'

**Kyoya:** Hello all, there is something I must congress

**Kris:** _"Confess"_

**Kyoya:** I mean confess!

**Kris:** 'I'm in love! With a friend of mine. And I'd give my Clacky shoes to know that he feels the same way!'

**Kyoya:** With a friend of mine. And I'd give my Cla- WHAT?!

**Kris:** Just say it, damit.

**Kyoya:** _(tears off com set and chucks it off stage) _I don't need your help for this, idiot! _(turns back to school)_ There is something I must say…I have been getting these feelings for a while now. At first it was a one off, being so young and developing new and different feelings…(**Haruhi:** Gross!), but over time, my feelings didn't fade. They enhanced. And it is these feelings that have shaped who I am today _(sigh)._ I'm sorry it's taken me to say this, but…but…but…but…but…but…

**Everyone:** …?

**Kyoya:** …But…I'M IN LOVE WITH SOUH TAMAKI! There, I said it…

**Everyone:**_ (gasp)_

**Kyoya:** _(bows and walks away)_

**Kaoru:** How come he was so obedient?

**Kris:** It was the jellybean

**Kaoru:** Ahh…

_-Back to the bedroom- _

**Haruhi:** A truth- _1. Does Kaoru have anyone he likes? It always seems like he's just supporting Hikaru from the side-lines._

**Hikaru:** Well Kaoru?

**Kaoru:** Hmmm…well I kinda liked Haruhi for a bit, but there's no one who really stands out at the moment

**Hikaru:** Not even me?

**Kaoru:** You always stand out for me, Hikaru

**Hikaru:** I think its time we played more card snap…_(leads Kaoru into the closet again)_

**Kris:** Umm…Thankyou for those, Siren of the Sand! Up next, it's faii-chan!

**Hunny:** Can I read it?

**Kris:** Of corse you can

**Hunny:** _Ah my gosh! That was just ** ** funny! I only have two dares this time. I promise.  
1/ I dare Kyoya to buy me the most decent expensive laptop in the world and then type my fanfiction out as I say it!_

**Kyoya:** Fine, as long as it doesn't involve me doing something embarrassing _(gets a Mac book air special edition-it has real diamonds all over it)_ Now what story do you want me to work on?

(a/n- I hope you don't mind me going to your profile to see your stories)

**Faii-chan:** Can you work on 'mask behind a mask behind a mask'?

**Kyoya:** Sure _(starts typing it as she says it)_

**Hunny:** _2/ I dare Kyoya to put on a black tux and go out to dinner with me!_

**Kyoya:** _(puts on black tux) (takes Faii-chan to exclusive restaurant)_

**Twins:** _(pop out of closet)_ Have fun, Clacky! _(go back in)_

**Kris:** He was good this time. Probably because he didn't have to use the clackies. Thankyou for that, Faii-chan! Next up is…Plumalchemyst! Mori, you can read

**Mori:** _…lol omg awesome here are more dares  
__Kris: Because i think it's unfair I dare you to be Clacky's slave XD _

**Kris:** What?! That's not a good dare…

**Kyoya:** _(back from date)_ Oh yes it is! Its payback time!

**Kris:** Ahh…great…

**Kyoya:** Now_…(changes back into normal clothing and gives Kris tux)_ take this to the dry cleaners. When I get it back, I want it looking like new. Now go!

**Kris:** Yes, sir_…(goes)_

**Haruhi:** Uhh…sempai you just got rid of the admin

**Kyoya:** Ah well, we can continue without her

**Mori:** _Inuyasha: since your here XD dare you to kiss Haruhi while Kagome watches_

**Inuyasha:** _(was actually back in his own time but comes along anyways)_ Hey, I'm back! _(pulls Kagome along behind) _and I brought my bitch with me!

**Kagome:** I'm not your bitch, you jerk! Sit!

**Inuyasha:** Whaaau! _(sits)_

**Kris:**_ (comes back from drycleaners) _Ah, he's back…

**Inuyasha:** _(gets up)_ I have to kiss someone? Uhhh…fine. _(walks over to Haruhi and kisses her)_

**Tamaki:** Get off my daughter, you pervert!!!

**Kagome:** _(warning tone)_ Inuyasha…SIT! SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT!

**Inuyasha:** _(falls on top of Haruhi while still kissing her)_

**Kris:** Wow, that doesn't look suss…

**Kagome:** Inuyasha, you're such a jerk!

**Inuyasha:** _(getting up)_ But it was a dare!

**Haruhi:**_ (partially squished)_

**Mori:** _Haruhi: dare you to dress like Kagome_

**Haruhi:**_ (unsquishes herself) (puts on Kagome-like clothing)_

**Kagome:** _(still arguing with Inuyasha)_ –And look at her now, she's even dressing like me!

**Inuyasha:** _(looks) _Yup, same damn short skirt…

**Kagome:** Sit!

**Inuyasha:** Ah, not again _(sit!)_

**Mori:** _Hunny: want some cake (has laced it with gender bender powder but don't tell him)_

**Hunny:** Yeah, I want some cake! _(eats cake and instantly turns into a girl, much like Tamaki in the last installment)_ Eeee! I'm a girl

**Kyoya:** Hmmmm…speaking of cake, I feel like some tea…Hey servant! Get over here!

**Kris:** Yes, your Clackiness?

**Kyoya:** Get me a chai tea. Don't make it too hot and make sure to put a bit extra chai in. Also, be sure to add milk. Make sure it's soy I would like it soon, okay?

**Kris:** Yes your Tranniness

**Kyoya:** And enough with those names!

**Kris:** _(leaves for kitchen)_ Yes, your preposterousness…

**Kyoya:** Smart ass…

**Mori:** _Tamaki: are you being harassed by boys yet XD and I dare you to run around naked to the song streak_

**Tamaki:** Oookay. But do I have to be naked?

**Haruhi:** That's kinda the point of streaking

**Tamaki:** Okay, will you go with me on this, Haruhi?

**Haruhi:** Heck no!

**Tamaki** _(sigh)_ Here we go_…(takes off clothing and runs down street, into supermarket naked)_

**Reporter:** _Hello, everyone, this is your action news reporter with all the news  
that is news across the nation, on the scene at the supermarket. There  
seems to have been some disturbance here. Pardon me, sir, did you see  
what happened?_

_Tamaki runs naked past lots of people including little kids. He runs through the fresh food section._

**Witness:** _Yeah, I did. I's standin' overe there by the tomaters, and here he  
come, running through the pole beans, through the fruits and vegetables,  
nekkid as a jay bird. And I hollered over t' Ethel, I said, "Don't  
look, Ethel!" But it's too late, she'd already been incensed._

_Tamaki runs out of supermarket and down street once again. On the way, he sees a football game and decides to go through that. Lots of police are trying to catch him  
_  
_**Random singing person:** _

_Here he comes, look at that, look at that  
There he goes, look at that, look at that  
And he ain't wearin' no clothes_

_Oh, yes, they call him the Streak  
Look at that, look at that  
Fastest thing on two feet  
Look at that, look at that  
He's just as proud as he can be  
Of his anatomy  
He goin' give us a peek_

_Oh, yes, they call him the Streak  
Look at that, look at that  
He likes to show off his physique  
Look at that, look at that  
If there's an audience to be found  
He'll be streakin' around  
Invitin' public critique_

_Tamaki runs off and goes streaking at a basket ball match_

**Random singing person:**  
_He ain't crude, look at that, look at that  
He ain't lewd, look at that, look at that  
He's just in the mood to run in the nude_

Reporter: _Once again, your action news reporter in the booth at the gym, covering  
the disturbance at the basketball playoff. Pardon me, sir, did you see  
what happened?_

_Tamaki continues to wreak havoc on the basket ball game_

**Witness:** _Yeah, I did. Half time, I's just goin' down thar to get Ethel a snow  
cone. And here he come, right out of the cheap seats, dribbling, right  
down the middle of the court. Didn't have on nothing but his PF's.  
Made a hook shot and got out through the concessions stand. I hollered up  
at Ethel, I said, "Don't look, Ethel!" But it was too late. She'd  
already got a free shot. Grandstandin', right there in front of the  
home team._

_Tamaki escapes and runs back_

**Tamaki:** _(runs back in through the window) _Phew, that was close

**Kris:** _(walks in with chai tea, only to see scenes of Tamaki's streaking on the TV) _I'm so glad I wasn't here…you can put some clothes on now…

**Kyoya:** _(takes tea and immediately gives it back)_ It's too spicy and there's too much milk

**Kris:** Well aren't we the fuss-pot?

**Kyoya:** Just make another one!

**Kris:** Yes, your fussiness

**Mori:** _Clacky: I dare you to burn the heels_

**Twins:**_ (come out from closet)_ What?!

**Kris:** _(comes back from kitchen with new chai)_ What?!

**Kyoya:** Another good dare!

**Hikaru:** But you can't burn the clackies! They are the soul of this T&D!

**Kyoya:** Just watch me…_(sets clackies alight. They turn to ash)_

**Kaoru:** Do you realise you just killed part of yourself?

**Kyoya:** I did not! Now servant, clean this up!

**Kris:** _(starts cleaning) _You'll still always be Clacky, even without the clackies!

_Suddenly, magic surrounds the Clacky ashes. Then, the clackies come back and fasten themselves to Kyoya's feet!_

**Kyoya:** Noooooooo

**Kris:** It's because they love you too much!

**Kyoya:** oooooooooooooo…

**Mori:** …

**Hunny:** I feel like playing_…(goes and plays on Trojan bunny)_

**Mori:** _Twins: you can stop screaming and my twin and I dare you to dress as Karin and Yuzu from bleach and see if Ichigo since he's so thick can tell his little sisters from the fakes_

**Twins:** Righto!

**Kaoru:** _(changes into a dress)_ I'm Yuzu~!

**Hikaru:**_ (dyes hair black)_ I'm Karin~!

**Kyoya:** Those disguises are so bad, not even a complete idiot would fall for them…

**Ichigo:** _(walks in)_ Hey Yuzu, hey Karin _(pats twin's heads)_

**Kyoya:** Omg he fell for it!

**Hikaru:** I'm bored. Lets go back _(goes back in the closet with Kaoru)_

**Ichigo**: Make sure you two don't stay up too late!

**Kris:** Didn't he notice they were guys?

**Kyoya:** _(to Ichigo)_ Hey you, are you an idiot?

**Ichigo:** Shut up, Ishida _(sits and watches days of our lives with Alucard, Sesame Street Bird Sexy Ninja Assassin and Inuyasha)_

**Kyoya:** o.O

**Mori:** _Renge: I dare you to beat the crap out of Éclair_

**Kris:** One problem

**Mori:**?

**Kris:** Éclair is dead _(Holds up Éclair head)_

**Éclair:** _(suddenly revives)_

**Kris:** Arrrrgh! _(drops the head)_

**Renge:** Bring it on, bitch!

**Éclair:** Alright!

_The two have a big bitch fight, but Éclair has the crap beaten out of her_

**Kagome:** Winner! _(holds up Renge's arm)_

**Everyone:** _(cheer)_

**Mori:** _Ed: shortcake stop screaming at Hunny I dared him to call you short and I dare you to wear the Ouran high uniform girl XD_

**Ed:** _(falls through roof)_

**Everyone:** Eep! The short guy!

**Ed:** Shut up!

**Tamaki:** We need to put him in this _(holds up Ouran girl uniform)_

**Ed:** Wha? I 'aint wearing no dress!

**----5mins later----**

**Ed:** _(is wearing the Ouran girl uniform. It looks surprisingly good on him although he's all sulky) (goes and hides inside Trojan rabbit)_

**Kris:** Righto, next dare- _Mori: I dare you to kiss Kagome to make Inuyasha jealous_

**Mori:** 'Kay _(walks over to Kagome and kisses her)_

**Inuyasha:** Whaa?! _(pulls out Tetsuiga)_ You did not just do that!

**Mori:** …It was a dare…just like with you and Haruhi…

**Inuyasha:** _(death glare)_ Okay, but if it happens again, there will be blood.

**Kyoya:** Hey, slave

**Kris:** What?

**Kyoya:** More chai tea!

**Kris:** _(sigh)_

**Kagome:** _Tamaki and Haruhi: I dare you to perform love story Tamaki as Romeo and Haruhi as Juliet and Ranka has to be in it because well Juliet's dad hates Romeo_

**Haruhi:** …don't wanna…

**Kris:**_ (calling out from kitchen)_ You have'ta

**Haruhi:** Fine. 'Love story' as in the song be Taylor swift?

**Renge:** I'd say so

**Haruhi:** …Fine

**Tamaki:** Woot!

_To see the outcome of this, just type in 'love story Ouran' or something to youtube_

**Tamaki:** Okay, last dare from Plumalchemyst! Ranka: _GO BACK YOUR SCARY AS A MAN (runs away screaming)_

**Ranka:** Okay! I'll teach you guys my secret as well…SEXY NO JUTSU! TRANSFORM!!!!

**Everybody:** WTF?!

**Kris:**_ (walks in room)_ OMG…! _(drops chai tea)_ Damn…

**Haruhi:** We really didn't need to know that, dad…

**Kris:** Thankyou for those dares, Plumalchemyst! Up next is Jaina-anne

**Kyoya:** My chai?

**Kris:** Screw you, Clacky _(goes to kitchen)_

**Renge:** Here is the dare- _I think Mori should have to mimic the twins annoying antics._

**Hikaru:** _(pokes head out of closet)_ What a great idea! _(goes back in)_

**Mori:** _(walks over to Kyoya)…_Hey Clacky-Tran…

**Kyoya:** Argh! Not you too!

**Mori:** _(starts poking Kyoya)_ Clacky-Tran, Clacky-Tran, Clacky-Tran!

**Kyoya:** Stop that!

**Mori:** _(starts chasing Clacky)_

**Kyoya:** Stoooooooop Thaaaaaaaaaaat!! _(hides in closet)_

**Kris:** Umm…you do know the twins are in there, right?

**Kyoya:** ARRRRGHHH!!!WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?! GET IT OFF! GET IT OOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!

**Ichigo:** _(gets up and rushes over to closet)_ Yuzu! Karin! What are you doing to Ishida?

_The closet door then bursts open_

**Kyoya:** _(tumbles out, panting)_

**Twins:** _(point and laugh with a fake spider)_

**Ichigo:** Hey! You're not Yuzu and Karin!

**Kris:** No duh

**Ichigo:** That makes me mad! _(pulls out Zangetsu)_

**Twins:** Aww, crap…_(are chased)_

**Inuyasha:** Hmm I'm bored _(sees Ichigo chasing twins) (goes over) _Hey ranga, you go for that ranga and I'll go for his twin

**Ichigo:** Sure

**Kyoya:** _(is being bothered by Mori. The twins would be proud)_

**Kris:** Well, next we have a truth- _Mori do you have a strange fixation with people that look small and weak? {Episode 8 he carries Haruhi who is small and weak and he's always taking care of Honey}_

**Mori:** _(stops chasing Kyoya)_ Well…I wouldn't call it a fixation…I just like helping small weak people

**Kris:** So it's a fixation?

**Mori:** …Did you listen to what I just said?

**Kris:** Probably not.

**Mori:** _…(starts chasing Kyoya again)_

**Kris:** Thankyou very much for those, Jaina-anne. Next we have Jychan!

**Nekozawa:** I'll read it…it says…:_i dare Haruhi to go confess and kiss Tamaki!_

**Haruhi:** No.

**Kris:** Please

**Haruhi:** No

**Kris:** I'll write you a KyoyaxTamaki fanfic!

**Haruhi:** ………No.

**Kris:** Hey, look what I found! It's the duck costume from the episode before last!

**Haruhi:** Fine! Fine! I'll do it!

_As Haruhi approaches Tamaki, everyone stops what they're doing to watch_

**Haruhi:** Hey Tamaki

**Tamaki:** Hey, Haruhi

…

…

…

**Tamaki:** So…

**Haruhi:** Tamaki, I love you.

**Tamaki:** Huh? What happened to the 'cute and mysterious' Nekozawa?

**Haruhi:** Forget about that! You're even cuter and even more mysterious_ (kisses him)_

**Everyone:**_ (gasp)_

**Haruhi:** _(runs away to the bathroom)_

**Kris:** …She'll be back

**Tamaki:** _(in fairy land)_

**Kris:** That all from Jychan. Next is Rachi-kun! Hey you! _(points to Alucard who is still here) _Make yourself useful and read

**Alucard:** _Tamaki: for a whole chapter you can never use the word "What" or any variation of it, just because you seem to say it a lot..._

**Tamaki:** Wh-

**Kris:** _(steps on his foot)_

**Tamaki:** Hey! I wasn't gonna say that!

**Kris:** Then what were you going to say?

**Tamaki:** I was gonna say…… 'Wheetbix'

**Kris:** =/

**Tamaki:** Don't give me that look =O

**Kris:** Why would you say 'wheetbix' to something like that?

**Tamaki:** ……I have my reasons…

**Alucard:** _Twins: have a gun duel to the death..._

**Kaoru:** _(being chased by Ichigo)_ Uhh…we're kinda busy now

**Kris:** You're about to get busier…

**Twins:** _(get guns from somewhere) (turn and face each other)_

**Kris:** And you two (Inuyasha and Ichigo) no getting involved

**Inuyasha and Ichigo:** Owwww _(go back to watch days of our miserable lives)_

**Hikaru:** Okay…do we have to kill each other?

**Haruhi:** Well it is a gun duel to the death

**Tamaki:** …You just sounded really scary when you said 'to the death'

**Kaoru:** Okay Hikaru, shoot upwards first _(they shoot upwards)_

_Nothing happens_

**Tamaki:** Nooooo! Not again! _(Is assaulted, by not only one but two Amy Winehouses)_

**Twins:** _(keep firing. Every time they pull the trigger, a new Amy Winehouse starts harassing Tamaki)_

**Tamaki:** Make it stooooooop! _(runs around)_

**Mei:** That's really not going to help, you know…

**Alucard:** _and Kyoya; Truth or dare? Tell me in the next chapter and ill come up with something cunning... =P_

**Kyoya:** _(still being chased by Mori)_ Truth! I pick truth!

**Kris:** Righty, that's all from Rachi-kun. Next is Nanashi the Paladin.  
_1. I dare Renge to give me an international PS2, an all regions PC, a Japanese translation program, and all of her dating sims. (Be sure she includes Comic Party)_

**Renge:** Why?

**Kris:** Because your being told too

**Renge:** Fine. I'll get more later _(gives stuff to Nanashi)_

**Kris:** _2. I dare Hunny to team up with Conan Edogawa and become a mystery solving duo._

**Conan:** _(is in midget form) (joins Hunny on the Trojan rabbit) (they try to work out who the scary looking short girl inside the bunny is)_

**Ed:** I'm not a girl and I'm not short!

**Hunny and Conan:** Then why are you wearing a dress?

**Ed:** (_mumble mumble) _Stupid dare_ (mumble mumble)_

**Kris:** That's all from Nanashi. Dog ears can read the next one.

**Inuyasha:** Why me?

**Kris:** 'cause all you're doing is sitting there watching dumb soap operas.

**Inuyasha:** These are from Haruka Oujo- _Haruhi- who is your favourite host out of these- Tamaki, Kyoya, Hikaru (if she says Tamaki I dare Tamaki to huggle twirl her the whole chapter xD) (if she says Kyoya I dare him to lower her debt) (if she says Hikaru I dare Hikaru to bother her and tease her and have her be the main target in his evilness)_

**Haruhi:** _(coming back from bathroom)_ I like all I guess…

**Kyoya:** _(lowers her debt)_

**Tamaki:** _(starts huggle twirling her while still being pursued by the Amy Winehouses)_

**Twins:** _(press a special button on their guns, which causes the Amy Winehouses to also go after Haruhi)_

**Tamaki and Haruhi:** Get them off! Get them offfffffffffff!

**Everyone:**_ (point and laugh)_

**Inuyasha:** _Kaoru: say how he REALLY feels about his brother -wink wink-_

**Kaoru:** _(stops pulling Trigger) _I love Hikaru as a brother

**Kris:** Any other way?

**Kaoru:** _(smirk)_ I'll leave that for the reader to decide

**Kris:** Damn your direct answer avoiding!

**Inuyasha:** _Éclair: go die_

**Éclair:** _(is squished by a vending machine and dies yet again)_

**Inuyasha:** That's the end of Haruka Oujo's dares

**Kris:** You next _(points to Ichigo)_

**Ichigo:** Why me?

**Kris:** Because you're a free-loader, you need to make yourself useful

**Ichigo:** These are Princess-Christina-Ark's dares…  
_Tamaki: I dare you to propose to Éclair with the ootoro ring in front of Haruhi. (Although I hate Éclair) _

**Tamaki:** _(stops huggle twirling Haruhi) (walks over to Éclair's dead body and grabs it)_ I love you Éclair _(pulls out ootoro ring)_ Will you marry me?

**Haruhi:** Huh?! Okay Tamaki, giving an ootoro ring as a friendly gift is fine, but proposing with one is the hight of cheapness!

**Tamaki:** Uhh…

**Haruhi:** Further more, she's already dead! You freak! You weirdo! You necrophile! You _(continues)_

**Ichigo:** _Kyoya: I dare you to go a whole day without his precious laptop, cell phone, or notebook._

**Kyoya:**_ (is still being chased by Mori) (melts)_

**Mori:** …Was that supposed to happen?

**Ichigo:** _Hikaru: I dare you to superglue one of your hands with Haruhi's._

**Hikaru:** Sure thing! _(does so)_

**Haruhi:** _(still talking to Tamaki)_ You imbecile! You punk!

**Ichigo:** _Kaoru: I dare you to superglue one of your hands with Haruhi's other hand! (I love Twins/Haruhi XD)_

**Kaoru:** Okay! _(does so)_

**Haruhi:**_ (stiiiil talking to Tamaki) _You stupid boy! You crack head! You knot-headed arselnoff!

**Kris:** Haruhi studies too much Shakespeare…

**Ichigo:** _Haruhi: Your dare is that every time you complain, whine, etc, the twins are allowed to kiss ya. He he... =3_

**Haruhi:** _(only just discovers the twins) _Hey! What're you doing here? This isn't comfortable, get off!

**Twins:** _(simultaneously kiss Haruhi)_

**Tamaki:** Arrgh!

**Haruhi:** Arrrrrrgggghhh! Get them off!_ (tries to escape, but FAILs)_

**Twins:** _(continue to kiss Haruhi every time she complains)_

**Ichigo:** _Hunny: Since you're my most fave, I dare you to go to a commoner's mall and do the puppy dog eyes to get free candy from the people!_

**Hunny:** To the mall!

**Conan:** To the mall!

**Hunny:**_ (goes to mall and does puppy dog eyes) (returns with heaps of free candies)_

**Ichigo:** _Mori: I dare you to have a stare off with Hatsuharu from Fruits Basket._

**Hatsuhara:** _(arrives and faces Mori)_ …

**Mori:** _(stares right back)…_

**Hatsuhara:** …

**Mori:** …

**Hatsuhara:** …

**Mori:** …

**Hatsuhara:** …

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**Hatsuhara:** …

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**Hatsuhara:** …

**Mori:** …

_Oh the intensity!_

**Hatsuhara:** …

**Mori:** …

**Hatsuhara:** …

**Mori:** …

**Hatsuhara:** …

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**Hatsuhara:** …

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**Hatsuhara:** …

**Mori:** …

**Ichigo:** _Renge: I dare you to read utterly terrible fanfics._

**Renge:** 'Kay _(signs onto fanfiction and starts reading some of her own fanfics. She can't write for crap)_

**Ichigo:** _Mei: I dare you to cosplay as Momo from Peach Girl!_

**Mei:** Yay! I get a dare!_ (cosplays Momo)_

**Ichigo:** _Ranka: I dare you to give Tamaki a make over!_

**Ranka:** Oooooh Tamaki…

**Tamaki:** Noooooooooooooooooo! _(runs and is chased by Ranka and a group of Amy Winehouses)_

**Ranka:** _(catches up with him and gives him a makeover)_

**Ichigo:** Finished

**Kris:** Right, now shorty can read the next ones

**Ed:** _(comes out of Trojan rabbit still in girl uniform)_ I'm no shorter that you!

**Kris**: But I'm a girl, so it's okay. And you're wearing boots. Cheat.

**Ed:** …… _(glare)_ These are from Cold Mist- _Dare one!  
I dare Hunny to dress up as Yuzuyu from Aishiteruze baby (tht anime rox ma sox off!) And then go to his storage where he keeps all of his cake take like five of them, go outside and throw them at random bypasses_

**Kris:** Haha, I read that manga last year! And seeing as Hunny is now a girl, it will be easier!

**Hunny:** _(dresses as Yuzuyu)_

**Kris:** …Mori can be Keipei _(pushes out door)_ Have fun!

**Hunny:** _(starts throwing cake at people)_

**Real Yuzuyu and Keipei:** _(walk past and stare)_

**Mori:** _…(is being Keipei and having stare-off )_

**Yuzuyu:** Wau! I have a twin! _(plays with Hunny and Conan on Trojan rabbit)_

**Ed:** _Dare two!  
Kyoya must give his Diary to Hikaru and never ask for it back until the chapter is over. And Hikaru is allowed to read it aloud at any given time._

**Kyoya:** _(reforms from being melted) _Noooooooooooooo! Don't you dare!!!

**Hikaru:** _(takes diary with free hand and reads)_ 'Der diiary'

**Kris:** Omg

**Hikaru:** 'Today I went shopping and saw some guy he said he felt-"

**Kyoya:** GIVE THAT BACK, YOU DOLT!

**Hikaru:** Arrrgh!_ (starts running, dragging Haruhi and Kaoru along behind)_

**Haruhi:** Arrg! I don't like this!

**Twins:**_ (kiss her)_

**Haruhi:** Stop that!

**Ed:** _Dare three!  
Haruhi must SING! oh yeah thts right  
She has to sing candy baby over the P.A. system_

**Haruhi:** _(escapes from twins)_ I have to do what?

**Kris:** _(pushes her into PA room)_

**Haruhi:** _(grudgingly starts singing through PA system)_

_Candy, candy babe  
Candy, candy babe  
Candy, candy babe  
Candy, candy babe_

_Hey, hey, hey  
1,2,3,4_

_Hey, hey, hey_

**Random girl:** Hmm? Isn't that Haru-kun's voice?

**Haruhi:** _(runs away)_

**Ed:** _Dare four!  
I dare Kaoru to design this totally retarded tacky and stupid looking outfit and send the outfit to one of his customers and it CANT be anonymous and the customer cannot be told ahead of time or after he sends it that this is a dare_

**Kaoru:** Fine! _(designs tacky outfit. It consists of swimming goggles, lace, and some other weird stuff. It looks completely Ridiculous)_

**Everybody:** _(laughs at it)_

**Kaoru:** Stop laughing at my marvellous creation! _(he gets in trouble from the company for making such a stupid looking garment)_

**Hikaru:** Oh! I got a new one! _(clears throat)_ "I was on the internet yesterday and I found-"

**Kyoya:** Stop that! _(begins chasing him again)_

**Ed:** _Dare 5!  
I dare Tamaki to take a vase and smash it over that Ayanakoji girl (that redhead biatch from the first episode)_

**Tamaki:** _(escaping from makeup)_ Alright! _(goes over to bitch and smashes vase over her)_

**Ayanakoji:** _(explodes)_

**Ed:** _Dare 6!  
Mori has to spend an entire day with one of the male hosts or side characters. It cannot be Hunny though! The catch is Mori must be very sleepy idk how you'll do it but make it happen!!_

**Mori:** _(is very tired)_

**Nekozawa:** _(is hanging out with Mori) _Now let's talk about cats! _(rambles on about cats)_

**Mori:** You're scary…

**Nekozawa:** Really? I try to be…

**Mori:** I can be scary too! You wanna see? _(they continue)_

**Hikaru:** 'Its so hot in here. I think its because Haru-"

**Kyoya:** SHUT UPPP!

**Ed:** _Dare 7  
I dare Hikaru to play Animal crossing city folk for Nintendo wii he has to play it for the whole chapter unless hes dared or something_

**Hikaru:** _(does so whilst looking for something else interesting to read)_

**Ed:** Last dare!!  
_Nekozawa must use his magic to summon Rin from fate stay night, Rossete from chrono crusade, Haruhi Suzumiya from the meloncholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, and Kaname from full metal panic fummofu let them wreak havoc for the rest of the chapter._

**Nekozawa:** _(to Mori)_ Well look what I can do! _(summons all those people)_

**All those people:** Join the Amy Winehouses and wreak havoc

**Ed:** We are done

**Kris:** Keipei can read the next ones

**Keipei:** Umm…they quoted the entire first chapter…

**Kris:** Uh, that would be Jaki then. Just cut to the dares.

**Keipei:** _everyone go to 2days 1night camp and not sleep!_

**Kris:** As soon as the chapter is over, that's happening!

**Kyoya:** Get me some chai tea!

**Kris:** Far out! How much of that stuff can you drink?

**Kyoya:** _…(is given more chai tea)_

**Hikaru:** "I feel my arms moving up and down her hot body'

**Kyoya:** STOOOP THAT!

**Keipei:** This dare is from Lurking-in-shadows and is the last dare!

**Everyone:** Yay!

**Keipei:** _DARE: Could Clacky-Tran' please stop wearing a bikini... and put on a Speedo_

**Kyoya:** Okay…

**Kris:** You sicko!

**Kyoya:** Its better than me wearing a bikini!

**Kris:** …Yuck…

**Keipei:** _Also I dare Hannah Montana while she's there to force her pimp to wear her wig._

**Hannah Montana:** _(appears out of nowhere) _Hi, y'all! _(forces wig onto her pimp Kasonoda)_

**Kasonoda:** Arrrgh! Getit offff!

**Keipei:** _Yuzuru&Yoshio sing like a drunk a song of you choosing_

**Yuzuru and Yoshio:** _(arm in arm and drunk)_

_drink up, baby, stay up all night  
the things you could do, you won't but you might  
the potential you'll be, that you'll never see  
the promises you'll only make_

_drink up with me now and forget all about the pressure of days  
do what I say and I'll make you okay and drive them away  
the images stuck in your head_

_people you've been before that you don't want around anymore  
that push and shove and won't bend to your will  
I'll keep them still_

**Keipei:** Last dare, _let Kaoru jump out of a cake like he wanted and Hikaru dye his hair pink. Haruhi has to tell Hikaru he looks damn smexy w/ pink hair._

**Kaoru:** _(jumps out of Giant cake)_ Sexy no jutsu! Transform!

**Everybody:** O.M.G!

**Haruhi:** Kaoru, you look damn sexy with pink hair…

**Keipei:** _TRUTH: I want the Lobelia girls to tell us which one of the hosts besides Haruhi they like most. You can't say none =P._

**Lobelia girls:** …Hunny…

**Keipei:** _Nekozawa please tell us how your staff let Kiri-chan, your sis, listen to those stories an mangas (some mature) and still ended up not losing their jobs?_

**Nekozawa:**_ (shrugs)_ I don't actually know myself…

**Keipei:** _Last question; Kyoya & Tamaki, between the two of you which one will end up w/ Haruhi?_

**Tamaki:** I will!

**Kyoya:** …

**Kris:** You gonna say anything Clacky?

**Kyoya:** …Sexy no jutsu! Transform!!

**Everyone:** OMG! My eyyyyes!!!

**Kris:** …Umm…O.o…That's all for now! Please review!

_Explosion_


	6. What is that Mysterious Ticking Noise?

**CHARLIECHICK NOTE: Would you believe that not even 10 minutes after I posted that last one, I had to leave and go on a plane? I didn't even get to proofread it xD But I have since done so, so any errors from before shouldn't be there now…Enjoy the chapter. I own nothing but myself.**

**NUMBA 6!!!**

Kris: I would like to open today by telling you some good news

Tamaki: What is it?

Kris: You see Razz here has started her very own Truth or Dare for Bleach!

Razz: Sure have! ^.^

Kyoya: Those poor poor people…

Kris: It's actually quite awesome, really. She's doing a very good job too. If anyone would like to directly dare any Bleach people, just look up "Rachi-kun' you should be able to find her in the reviews, and then go to her truth or dare. I've noticed there's a few dares for Bleach in here, I'll let them pass for this time, but from now on, all Bleach directed dares have to be reviewed in Razz's Truth or dare. Unless it involves Bleach interacting with Ouran…

Haruhi: Can we start now? You're confusing me…

Kris: Ofcorse! Mori, you're up! Read the first one

Jaki: '…read…first…one…'

Mori: These are from Kinkitsune01

_I'll ask a few truths this time!  
Ranka-san, if you had to let one of the Host Club boys take your daughter out on a date, who would it be? =]_

Ranka: Hmmmm…well I tell you who it wouldn't be…(points to Tamaki) That idiot over there!

Tamaki: But whhhhhyyyyyyy?????

Ranka: Because you're an idiot who thinks you're her real dad. Does that mean you became a father at the age of one? Not to mention wanting to have a date with your daughter…

Tamaki: (goes and grows mushrooms)

Ranka: Not those twins either…I don't trust them…

Twins: owww…

Ranka: And that little one, he may be older than her, but I don't want my daughter to look like a cradle-snatcher

Hunny: (too busy eating cake to care)

Razz: But wasn't your wife six years older?

Ranka: …shut up…And that leaves the tall silent one and Kyoya. I don't know too much about Mori, but I have gotten to know Kyoya well enough to know that he is quite suitable.

Kyoya: (adjusts glasses and smirks) just as I expected, Ranka-san.

Tamaki: But why not meee?~

Kris: He already explained, you dolt.

Haruhi: ……O.o…

Mori: _Hunny-senpai! What's the biggest quantity of cake you've had in one sitting so far? =]_

Hunny: (looks up from his cake) Hmmm…that's not an easy question to answer…probably on my birthday once. Hahaha, remember that, Takashi?

Mori: …yes

Jaki: "…yes…"

Kris: I honestly don't see how the guy can eat so much without getting sick…

Mori: _Anyone who wants to answer: What would be your first plan of action if someone stole Hunny's Usa-Chan while he was sleeping? =O_

Hikaru: Flee for the hills!

Kaoru: Hide!

Tamaki: Distract him!

Kyoya: Get another one

Mori:…

Haruhi: Hope he doesn't notice…

Kris: Laugh. And then run

Kasonoda: Hope he didn't notice me take it (sneaky eyes)

Razz: Make up a story

Renge: Film his reaction

Nekozawa: Make him his very own Belzeneff

Jaki:"…(…sneaky…eyes…)…"

Ranka: (wouldn't know what to do) o.O

Mori: Find the person who took it. It's the most obvious plan.

Everyone:…

Kaoru: He's a smart one…

……

Kris: Thankyou Kinkitsune01. Alrightsy, Renge can read these next ones

Renge: Yay! These are from Haruka Oujo!

_xD lol 1.I want to know what was REALLY going through Hikaru's head when he and Haruhi were in that net during the halloween episode (21 I think...)_

Hikaru: Haha…ah, well…she was very close…

Haruhi: Hence the net (sweatdrop)

Hikaru: And she was leaning over me…

Haruhi: Trying to cut us down

Hikaru: And her breasts were real close…

Tamaki: YOU SICKO!

Haruhi: o.O

Kaoru: Hikaru, what breasts?

Haruhi: (removes shoe, starts swinging it by the laces and chases after Kaoru) I'LL 'WHAT BREASTS' YOU!!!

Kaoru: Arrrg! (runs) No no, I didn't mean it, Haruhi! I mean, small breasts suit you!

Haruhi: (hits Kaoru with shoe)

Kaoru: OWW! No, it helps you look more like a man!

Haruhi: (still chasing) Are you trying to make things better? 'CAUSE YOU'RE MAKING THEM WORSE! (scary face)

Kaoru: Eep! (keeps running)

Everyone else: (watching the two) o.O

Nekozawa and Renge: Haru-kun has breasts? o.O

Renge: …I'll just keep reading then

_2. Have Tamaki and Kyouya both wear the clakies and do a clacky dance! XD_

Kyoya: Heck no…

Kris: HECK YESSS!!

Tamaki: Okay

_Tamaki gets into his clackies without a hassle, unlike his dance partner…but after a gruelling 20 minutes, Kyoya too is wearing the infamous black heels_

Kris: Righty guys, now dance!

Kyoya and Tamaki: (start clacky dancing to crazy fat duck music)

Twins: Shake it, clacky, shake it!

Clacky: Shut up! (Is already shaking it)

Tamaki: (having fun)

Kris: Well uhh…just stay like that until you're next needed

Kyoya: Did I ever tell you how much I hate you?

Kris: Nope, but I get the idea, Clacky

Kyoya: (clacking scowl)

Tamaki: (clack, clack, clack)

Kris: Hahaha, thankyou for those, Haruka Oujo, they sure enjoyed it. Jaki can read the next ones.

Jaki: "…can…read…next…ones…" Hey, I can read!

Kris: Yeah, we know. Now read this.

Jaki: These are from Pumalchemyst

_OMG ICHIGO YOU REALLY ARE STUPID THATS WHY URAHARA WHO WILL APPEAR TO POKE THE TWINS IS MY NUMBER ONE FAVE XD_

Urahara: (Appears randomly and does so) (then goes and sits on the lounge)

Jaki: _Kris: Since you didn't do my love story thing you have to be clackies slave again for this chapter_

Kris: Heck no…

Kyoya: HECK YESS!! (clacks happily)

Kris: I didn't know exactly what she meant by 'love story'

Kyoya: The darer is always right! (stops clacking)

Kris: (glare) did I say you could stop clacking?

Kyoya: Fine (continues clacking) this is tiering work. Go get me a drink. Get Tamaki one too. And make it fast!

Kris: Fine! (walks out) Using my own words against me…(mumblemumble)

Jaki: _Ed: I now Dare you to purposely break a tea set and become a host until he pays it off thus he has to wear the boys uniform`_

Ed: (appears) (he is still wearing the girl uniform from the last episode) (picks up a random tea set, holds it up (really exaggerating his movements) and lets go. It smashes on the ground.) Ooops

Kyoya: (clacks angrily) That was 1000 yen!

Razz: …that's not much at all

Kyoya: (clack) Who cares?. Now you (points at Ed) must pay off the debt (throws boy uniform)

Ed: I can easily fix it, you know…

Kyoya: But I want you to work!

Ed: A $10 debt? Heh, kay (puts on boy uniform. It is too long in the arms and legs. He looks very stupid)

Kris: (walks in and gives drinks to clacking men) (sees Ed) LOL!

Ed: (glare) Shut up

Jaki: _Hunny: I dare you and L to have a cake eating contest_

L: (walks into room and sits opposite Hunny) (A large pile of cakes appears for them and they begin eating)

Kasonoda, Renge, Nekozawa, Hikaru and Tamaki (whose still clacking away): Go Hunny-senpai! Go Hunny-senpai!

Kris: Oww, but whose gonna cheer for L?

Ed, Urahara and Razz: (have nothing better to do but cheer for L)

Haruhi: (still chasing after Kaoru with shoe)

Ranka: (Where'd he go? O.o)

Tamaki and Kyoya: (still clacking)

Kyoya: Go do my shopping. Slave

Kris: Righto, your clackieness (leaves)

Jaki: _Tamaki: I dare you to kiss Kagome then Inuyasha XD_

Tamaki: I guess this means I can stop clacking (stops while Kyoya continues)

Inuyasha and Kagome: (enter room)

Tamaki: (grabs Kagome) Well hello there, Princess (kisses her)

Kagome: (still locked in kiss) wha?

Inuyasha: That's enough! (pushes Tamaki off her) What do you think you're doing?

Tamaki: (shrugs) I don't know, but I like it! (grabs Inuyasha and kisses him)

Inuyasha: wha?!

Kyoya: (clacking) What is with him today?

Inuyasha: (pushes Tamaki away) You just went a step too far…(pulls our Tetsuiga and chasses after him)

Tamaki: Eep! (runs)

Kagome: (sigh) Why do we always get into these situations? (goes and watches cake contest)

Jaki: _Ichigo: I dare you to sing you are a pirate to Luffy from ONE PIECE XD_

Ichigo: (comes flying from outside, trying to get through the window. The window however, is not open and he crashes up against it. After much confusion, he is able to make his way inside) (sees Urahara) Yo (knuckle touch) (sees Razz) Argghh! Its you!

Razz: (Evil grin)

Kris: (comes back in) I'm baack!

Kyoya: (clacking) did you do my shopping?

Kris: Yup! You can stop clacking now too…

Kyoya: (stops)

Kris: And look, I bought you stockings to go with the clackies

Kyoya: You bitch…

Ichigo: So what do I have to do here?

Jaki: (shows him the dare)`

Ichigo: What?

Kris: I reckon he should dance as well…it would kinda go with the song.

Razz: Yeah, I suppose…

Ichigo: Heh, I'm not gonna do it!

Razz: Would you like to try on that Kimono again?

Ichigo: Alright! Fine, I'll do it! Now where is this Luffy guy?

Luffy: (enters the room the same way Ichigo did)

Ichigo: Ah, there you are…

Everyone: (turns to watch. The cake contest is put on hault, Inuyasha stops chasing Tamaki. Even Haruhi stops chasing Kaoru)

(The music starts)

Ichigo: (starts singing)

_Do what you want, 'cause a pirate is free,  
YOU ARE A PIRATE!  
Yar har, fiddle di dee,  
Being a pirate is alright to be,  
Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free,  
You are a pirate!_

Luffy: o.O

Ichigo: You are a pirate!

Everyone: Yay!

Luffy: O.o

Ichigo: _We've got us a map, (a map!)  
To lead us to a hidden box,  
That's all locked up with locks! (with locks!)  
And buried deep away!_

Kris: You'd better start dancing…

Ichigo: (gulp) (begins dancing)

Luffy: O.O!

Ichigo: (continues singing)

_We'll dig up the box, (the box!)  
We know it's full of precious booty!  
Burst open the locks!  
And then we'll say hooray!_

(Ichigo is starting to enjoy himself. He really gets into the dancing, when the music changes and he begins singing again. In a girls voice.)

Girl voiced Ichigo:

_Yar, har, fiddle di dee.  
If you love to sail the sea,  
You are a pirate!_

Luffy: o.O

Normal voice Ichigo:

Weigh anchooor!

_Yar har, fiddle di dee,  
Being a pirate is alright with me!  
Do what you want ''cause a pirate is free,  
You are a pirate!  
Arr yarr, ahoy and avast,  
dinky-dink-dink-a-dinkadefast!  
Hang the black flag  
At the end of the mast!  
You are a pirate!_

Hahaha! (Yay!)

_We're sailing away (set sail!),  
Adventure awaits on every shore!  
We set sail and explore (ya-har!)  
And run and jump all day (Yay!)  
We float on our boat (the boat!)  
Until its time to drop the anchor,  
Then hang up our coats (aye-aye!)  
Until we sail again!_

(Ichigo then grabs Luffy's hands and dances with him in a circle)

Luffy: 0.0

Ichigo in girl voice again:

_Yar, har, fiddle di dee.  
If you love to sail the sea,  
You are a pirate!_

Normal voice:

_Laaaand ho!  
Yar har, fiddle di dee,  
Being a pirate is alright with me!  
Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free,  
You are a pirate! Yar har, wind at your back, lads,  
Wherever you go! Blue sky above and blue ocean below,  
You are a pirate! Hahahahaa!  
You're a pirate!_

Everybody: (applause)

Ichigo: (bows and makes Luffy curtsy)

Luffy: o.O (had no idea what was going on)

Kris: hahaha…poor guy xD

Ichigo: I'm done (goes to lounge)

_Everybody resumes their previous activities of running, chasing, caking, chasing and running_

Jaki: _Renge: Sing I am a superstar_

Renge: Alright! (gets up on makeshift stage with tinsel and sparkles and shiny objects and starts singing right away)

_I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car,  
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are.  
I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car,  
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are.  
Got many money honey, I'm a superstar,  
My life is funny honey, Have you seen my car?  
I know a lot of people, I'm a superstar,  
Everybody knows me, Right from near.  
I got a plane (I got a plane)  
I love the fame (I love the fame)  
You know my name (You know my name) And I just want you to know.  
I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car,  
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are,  
I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car,  
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are.  
I got a red Ferrari, I'm a superstar,  
I really like to party, Am I cool or what?  
I love a lot of women, I'm a superstar,  
Star's got a freaky living, That's the way we are.  
I got a plane (I got a plane)  
I love the fame (I love the fame)  
You know my name (You know my name)  
And I just want you to know.  
I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car,  
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are,  
I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car,  
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are.  
I got fortune, I got fame,  
Love it when you say my name.  
Love to party, I am naughty,  
Prettier than everybody!  
I got muscles, I'm a stud,  
Jealous people kiss my butt,  
I'm so fly I'll make you cry,  
Cross my heart and hope to die  
I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car,  
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are,  
I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car,  
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are.  
I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car,  
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are,  
I am a superstar with a big big house and a big big car,  
I am a superstar and I don't care who you are._

Kagome: (throws pillow at Renge)

Renge: Hey! (madoossa hair)

Kagome: It needed to be done!

Renge: (hiss)

Jaki: _Ranka: Sing its okay to be gay XD_

Ranka: (pops up)

Kris: Hey, where did you get to?

Ranka: Ask no questions and I'll tell no lies!

Kris:…okay

Ranka: (starts singing)

_We're all gay, and it's okay  
Cause gay means happy and happy means gay.  
We're not sad anymore, cause we're out the closet door.  
It's okay, hey, to be gay!_

Kris: Well that was short and sweet…and we're not all gay here!

Kyoya: Hey slave, get us some lunch!

Kris: Lunch?! It's midnight…

Kyoya: I don't care

Kris: (goes)

Jaki: _Kyoya again: dress as Uryuu Ishida XD_

Ichigo: But isn't he already Ishida?

Razz: …no comment…

Kyoya: (gets into weird Quincy clothing)

Jaki: _Twins: one dress as Shinigami Ichigo the other as Hollow Ichigo_

Twins: Righty!

Hikaru: (Puts on black robes and dresses as normal Ichigo)

Ichigo: Heh…he just wants to be cool like me…

Kaoru: (Escapes Haruhi and gets BLEACHed and albinoized. He is the hollow)

Jaki: _Haruhi: You have to be Rukia XD_

Haruhi: (dyes hair black and puts on shinigami clothes)

Jaki: _Tamaki: you have to dress as Urahara_

Tamaki: (does so)

Urahara: (goes up to Tamaki) Hey, you're looking pretty good

Tamaki: (doesn't get it) I know~!

Jaki: _Mori: Kenpachi is your role_

Mori: (spikes hair, gets eyepatch and shinigami clothes. Grows even taller)

Jaki: _Hunny: Bag of candy if you play the pink hair girl who rides on Kenpachi's shoulder_

Hunny: Oh, yay! (temporarily abandons cake contest with L and changes into Yachirus shinigami clothes and pink hair) (received bag of candy)

Jaki: _Renge: you play orihime_

Renge: Yay! Cosplay! (Dresses like Orihime)

Jaki: _Kasanoda: your Chad XD_

Kasonoda: (gets Chad clothes and cool arm)

Jaki: _Nekozowa: You be Yachiro or however you say her name_

Nekozawa: (dresses like Yoruichi. Even though shes a dark skinned, very unalbino woman)

Jaki: _Éclair: Shoe this monkey down your pants now_

Éclair: Why?

Razz: (gives her monkey) Just do it

Éclair: (shoves monkey down pants and does funny pants dance)

Jaki: _Lobelia girls: choose a character to dress as then chase Haruhi XD_

Benio: (dresses as Gin Ichimaru)

Chizuru: (dresses as Chizuru, because they have the same name and they're both dykes)

Hinako: (Dresses as Hinamori)

All three: (chase after Harukia)

Haruhi: Stop chasing me! I'm already dressed up…

Jaki: _Ichigo: Get the cast from your show here or else (Has gender bender fire hose out)_

Ichigo: Hmmm…okay (summons every character from Bleach)

Every character from Bleach: (enter)

Real Ishida, Rukia, Kenpachi, Yachiru, Orihime, Chad, Yoruichi, Gin, Chizuru and Hinamori: Wt?! Impostors!

Bleach people: (Scatter around room, watching TV or cake contest)

Kris: (returns to room with Clacky's midnight lunches) (sees Bleach people) Hey Razz, isn't this your lot?

Razz: Yeah, but they seem to have been summoned a little early o.O

Kyoya: Hey, slave!

Kris: What is it, Clack-flower?

Kyoya: Be polite and get our gests drinks

Kris: What? All of them?! (Tries to count every single Bleach character) Ah, screw this…(gets barrels of drink and lots of plastic cups) Help yourselves, people!

Jaki: "…help…selves…people…"

Kris: Yeah, just do that…

Jaki: That is all Plumalchemyst dare!

Kris: Thankyou, Plumalchemyst…well not for the Clacky's slave part, but-

Haruhi: Hurry up already!

Kris: Okay, the next dares are-

Kyoya: Slave! Go get some food!

Kris: …You there! (points to Luffy who is sitting on the couch watching some weird night program) Make yourself useful while I tend to Clacky's orders…

Luffy: These are from Faii-chan

_Yay! He did my dares and typed out 'mask behind a mask behind a mask' for me. Which reminds me that I still have to actually update my fics but oh well?  
Hm. Two more dares I think but who should I pick on?  
I dare Kyouya to play dolls with my little sister 'Nafisa' with Renge, Ranka and Nekozawa while I read the rest of the chapter! *She is very picky and annoying and gets bored easily. If she doesn't get what she wants then she screams!*_

Kyoya: I have to look after a kid?

Razz: Sure do

Kyoya: . (goes and plays dolls with Renge, Ranka, Nekozawa and Nafisa)

Renge: These dolls are so great!

Nekozawa: (making cat doll)

Ranka: (dk wth he's doing o.O)

Luffy: _I dare Tamaki to give the twins a facial, haircut, massage, pedicure and manicure and then proceed to chase them around the room crying loudly about how they have violated his 'daughter' Haruhi!_

_Thanks for the laughs!  
Faii-Chan_

Tamaki: (still in Urahara clothing) Hmmmmm…I do need to up my boutique skills a little, righto come here, you two! (grabs normal and holly Ichigo twins and begins treating them)

Twins: (enjoying themselves)

Tamaki: (suddenly starts chasing them around the room, wielding barber scissors and dentists utensils) GET BACK HERE YOU! I'LL TEACH YOU TO VIOLATE MY DAUGHTER!!!

Twins: ARRRRRGGHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (run away from evil Tamaki)

Haruhi: I'm not your daughter!

Ranka: She's not your daughter! (chases after Tamaki with evil Barbie dolls)

Luffy: And that's all from Faii-chan!

Razz: Hmm…and seeing as Kris still isn't back with the food I guess its up to me.…well the free loaders aren't really doing anything, so they can read the dares. L can read these ones.

L: (takes break from cake contest) These are from Michieru Berujironu

Kris: (walks into room with food) uh-oh ^.^

L: _I appear again to plague your doorstep, haunt your minds, and eat your babes. Yes... it is I, Michieru! And... ARGH! I noticed Twilight was mentioned on this chapter! TO HELL WITH TWILIGHT! You know what I say about your Twilight? *douses the books with gasoline while playing creepy Satanic ritual music and laughing maniacally as they are set ablaze*_

Everyone but Renge: (applaud)

L: _Now... I will give a truth and a dare to all the Hosts._

_Kris: This is the simplest truth question in existance. Do you severely love torturing the Hosts?_

Kris: Hmmm…yes and no. You see, I only run this thing and see it through. You guys are the ones who give the dares. All I do is see them through and enforce them so that the darers are satisfied

Mori: …liar

Kris: …wt…where did you come from?!

Mori:…

Kris: Oh well there was that incident when I dared clacky…

Kyoya: Don't talk about that, slave! Go and…uhh…

L: _And as for your dare... try to survive boot camp._

Kyoya: Yeah! Go do boot camp!

Kris: Sure! I've always wanted to do boot camp!

L: o.O are you crazy?

Kris: (skips off to boot camp)

Kyoya: Hmmm…100 yen says she won't last the day…

Kaoru: (still being chased by Tamaki) 200 yen!

Haruhi: 500

Hunny: (bites cake) 1000!

Mori: 3000

Inuyasha: 3500! Wait- what are we talking about?

Byakuya: 5000

Jaki: 1000000000!

Kris: (comes back through door) You guys really have that little faith in me?

Razz: Back so soon? O.O

Kris: Well I have a responsibility here with you guys you know, I can't just run off to boot camp…

Razz: =/

Kris: Hey! Don't look at me in that tone of voice…

Razz: Tell the truth

Kris: Okay, okay…so here I was thinking it would be the boot camp with the mud pits, monkey bar things, ropes etc.

Razz: go on…

Kris: But they made my run! Up a hill!

Razz:…They only made you run…

Kris: You know how much I hate running! How slow I am…I thought it was going to be fun!

Kyoya: (thinking) Why oh why couldn't she have stayed a little bit longer…(saying) Go get more drinks slave, these Bleach people drink too much…

Kris: (goes)

L: _Tamaki: My truth question to you is this. You claim you are not gay and even made the damn Bible-thumper reference to Adam and Eve when Benelio was trying to take Haruhi away. If this is the case, why were you all over Haruhi before you knew she was indeed a she?_

Tamaki: (stops chasing twins and forgets he is being chased with Ranka)

Ranka: (hits Tamaki with Barbie doll)

Tamaki: (falls over) (stands back up) Well I was experimenting at the time…

Ranka: EXPIRIMENTING?! (wacks with Barbie doll again) ON MY DAUGHTER?!

Tamaki: Eep! (runs)

L: _As for your dare... you need to kiss the nearest person, full fledged tounge kissing, and accept whatever punishment they are going to give to you._

Tamaki: What? But…(Ranka is directly behind him) No way! I'm not experimenting anymore!

L: But you must

Tamaki: (sigh) Here we go then…(goes to Ranka and…well need I say more?)

(silence)

(cricket chirping)

Kris: (walks in with more drinks) I am so glad I did not just see that

Haruhi: (died)

Tamaki: Great…why did it have to be him…why couldn't it have been Haruhi…

Ranka: Going after my daughter again, hey? Well I'll teach you a lesson! (chases Tamaki with the Barbie doll yet again)

L: _Kyouya: Do you know that, despite other obvious reasons it wouldn't work, your the one who seems to be the most compatable with Haruhi?_

Kyoya: well I don't know…ask Hatori Bisco…

Hatori Bisco: (appears) Because that's the way I planned it!

Kyoya: Will I get a girl?

Hatori: I haven't planned on it…

Kyoya: (very uncharacteristically, does a Tamaki in the corner)

L: _As for your dare, take this time machine and go back to the very first episode. Kill the person who brings the clacky heels in and then burn the heels. That should be rid of them for good._

Kyoya: Yes! Thanks! (goes back to episode one)

**+++Back in Episode 1+++**

Ep1Kris: Haha…don't say I didn't warn them Are you gonna ask something, Razz?

Ep1Razz: Nah…I'm gonna be the first review. Watch out, Kyoya.

Ep1Kyoya: Ah…crap.

Ep1Kris: 'Ah crap' indeed, Kyoya.

Kyoya: Damn…to far back…(goes to episode 2)

**++Meanwhile+Episode 6+++**

_Coffee break until Clacky returns_

Kris: Say, Razz…Wasn't it you who introduced the clackies?

Razz: What, me? …Oh dear…I think it might have been…Does this mean he's gonna try to kill me?

Kris: It's possible…

Razz: But then wouldn't it have happened already?

Kris: Hmm...You would think…

Both:…

Jaki: "…plus…episode…six…"

**+++Meanwhile, Back in Episode 2+++**

Ep2Haruhi: (looks at the computer screen) It's from Rachi-kun.

Ep2Tamaki: (dramatically points at Razz) That's you!

Ep2Razz: (smiles) no its not….

Ep2Tamaki**:** You're lying I can-

Ep2Haruhi: (interrupting Tamaki) she writes: _ahahaha XD lol  
Make Kyoya walk around school wearing stripper heels..._

Kyoya: Not if I can help it…(marches up to Razz with banana stabber) I didn't want it to come to this you know

Ep2Razz: o.O huh?

Kyoya: But that little dare of yours has gone too far…it keeps recurring and giving me a nic name…this is for the greater good

Ep2Razz: Hey, I'm not the one who brought the heels in…

Kyoya: Huh? (turns and sees ep2 version of himself summoning the infamous clackies) What? I'm not gonna kill myself! Waitasec…(remembers back to episode 5…)

_**(Episode 5 Flashback)**Kyoya: Just watch me…(sets clackies alight. They turn to ash)  
Kaoru: Do you realise you just killed part of yourself?**(End flashback)**_

**_A startling Revelation of Wisdom!_**

Kyoya: That's right…I bought in the clackies, so I must kill myself…but Kaoru implied that they were a part of me…so if I kill them, I will have sort of killed myself!!(runs and grabs clackies from Ep2Kyoya, burning them to ash) Woot! I'm rid of them~! I'm finally rid of them!

All Ep2 peeps (including Ep2Kyoya): o.O

Kyoya: (goes back [or forward] to Ep6)

**+++Episode 6+++**

Razz:…so I hope he doesn't kill me, that would kinda suck

Orihime: And we wouldn't have our truth or dare!

Ichigo: Well that would be one good thing…

Kyoya: (appears, laughing like a madman)

Everyone: o.O

Kyoya: I did it! I did it! I did it! (dances happily)

Razz: But…I'm not dead…and I still remember the clackies…

Charliechick: (whispers to Razz and Kris) I actually remember during Ep2 some Kyoya double come in and destroying the original shoes, before disappearing. We got another pair for him though and I didn't feel it necessary to write it down…

Kris: Don't tell him just yet though, he's too happy

Razz: Kris, why are there two of you o.O

Kris: Oh, charliechick here does the typing and maintenance

Razz: But you're the same person .

L: _Hunny: How is it that you manage to keep yourself so damn cute? I've tried to perfect the secret for years and I have been able to do it... I CANNOT RESIST ANYMORE! *hugs Hunny tightly* Anyway, now for your dare... ... ... Oh what the hell? Here's some cake, go eat it. *gives Hunny the cake of the Gods... a.k.a cake that never runs out*  
_  
Hikaru: That isn't really helpful…seeing as he's in a cake eating contest right now

Hunny: (Doesn't care, and is stoaked and the concept of a cake that never runs out. That's more than a reward in itself) (Starts eating)

L: _Mori: What is it like always serving Hunny even though you're big enough that you could possibly take command? Try it and die!  
_  
Mori: Hmm…I've always served Mitzukuni. It would be strange if I didn't and I like it =D

L: _Anyway... your dare is to attack Tamaki. He stole Hunny's precious and must be punished for it._

Mori: (turns to Tamaki and runs after with Judo stick)

Tamaki: Wait…what did I do?! (runs)

L: _Hikaru and Kaoru: The truth of your twincest is too obvious, but seriously... don't you two ever think about each other more then you do Haruhi and her damn girlishness?_

Hikaru: Of corse we think of each other more

Kaoru: Haruhi's great and all…but we've known each other our whole lives. No one could replace Hikaru

Hikaru: Oh, Kaoru…no one could replace you either

Kaoru: Oh Hikaru (drapes himself over his brother)

Kris: Okay okay, try to keep it PG13…

Twins…(closet time)

L: _Your dare... Attack and prank all the Twilight fangirls you can find. XD_

Twins: (immediately return from closet) All right! (run out the door to some Twilight convention)

Tamaki: Hmmm…I want to see what they do…(is whacked over the head by Mori with Judo stick)

Kris: Hey, look…they're on the news

TV screen: (shows twins laughing and running from numerous Fangirls)

Twilight fan1: How dare you say Edward Cullen doesn't exist!

Twilight fan2: How dare you say vampires don't sparkle

Twilight fan3: And how dare you put that ridiculous picture up on the projector!

(The twilight picture flashes across screen)

Everyone: lol!

(A/N: If you want to see it, go to charliechick's profile and follow the link underneath 'Twilight Poster' under 'Truth or Dare Gallery')

Twins: (singing) Twilight is stupid~! Twilight is stupid~!

Twilight fans: Rawr!

Twins: eep! (go and hide from their wrath)

L: _Haruhi: Surely an intelligent girl like you would realize that you ended up in a club full of homosexuals, sans Kyouya who seems to be straight to me for some reason. Tamaki, the twins and cousins being together... why have you not tried to turn this to your advantage and make the club a Yaoi harem? My dare to you... do just that. Team up with Kyouya and sell off the other hosts as gay boys. XD_

Haruhi: The problem is I'm not sure if they're all gay…

Jaki: "…rawr…"

Kyoya: It doesn't matter. This could be a good way to make profit from the homosexual population…

Haruhi: You really think so?

Kyoya: Yes, besides everyone has a partner. Except Tamaki, but I'm sure he won't mind third wheeling…waitasec, we just got that short Ed guy…Tamaki can be with him…they have the same voice after all…

Haruhi: And what about our usual customers?

Usual customers: Oh why do they have to be gay…oh well it's so nice to watch!

Kyoya: We get even more of them!

Kris: You people are so weird…

L: _And that is all for now, but make no mistake pretties... I will return! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *dissapears in a burst of flames*_

Kris: (waves) see ya, Michi!

Mei: Do you think he'd appreciate you calling him that?

Kris: (shrugs) maybe…he can answer in his next review, wont ya, Michi?

Razz: That's all from him anyways…

L: (goes back and eats more cake)

Kris: The next ones are from Princess-Christina-Ark. Kagome can read them

Kagome: _-sniffles- You misspelled my name...oh well! Accidents happen! All right everyone! -evil glint in eyes- The gloves are off! Except Hunny, he's gonna be happy. Here come the dares of my bizarreness!_

Kris: Yeah, sorry about your name…I fixed it though, just so used to spelling it with a "K"

Razz: But you only ever write the first half of your name, you lazy bum

Kris: …sht up…

Tamaki: Why does Hunny always get it easy?

Kris: 'Cause he's cute.

Kagome: _Tamaki: You must sacrifice your beloved Kuma-chan to save your beloved Antoinette from an evil stray cat! If you don't, Antoinette will forever force you to eat her dog food, while she eats YOUR food...except food that'll make her sick. Can't have that happen._

Tamaki: (while running from Mori) What? Not Kuma-chan!

Kris: Give up the bear or spend the rest of your dog's life eating its food

Tamaki: But I don't want either of that! (continues running)

Kris: This aint easy . Do you want to eat dog food or not?

Tamaki: (Dodges swing from Mori) I don't actually mind dog food…

Haruhi: …eww.

Jaki: "…eww…"

Kris: So you'll let Antoinette get beaten up by an evil stray cat?

Tamaki: No! I will never! (runs to where Antoinette is getting beaten by a cat)

Razz: What kind of dog gets bashed by a skinny stray anyways?

Kris: It kinda looks like my cat did. A zombie cat.

Kris' cat look-alike: (stray zombie cat) raaaowm……

Antoinette: Ruff ruff arroo! (dog language: Arrgh! A zombie!)

Tamaki: Noooo! Get away from my Antoinette! (throws Kuma-chan at zombie cat)

Zombie cat: Meo? (sniffs Kuma-chan and then pisses on it)

Kris: A smell that lasts seven weeks…

Tamaki: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!~! (is whacked once again by Mori)

Nekozawa: (comes over holding gothic bratz doll) Hmm…a bit of a shabby thing…but it's a cat nonetheless! (adopts zombie cat and grooms it) (it sits on his lap)

Tamaki: (sits across room, glaring at zombie cat)

Kyoya: slave, take the bear to the cleaners!

Kris: Ugh…fine…(leaves with smelly bear)

Kagome: _Kyoya: When Kris is too busy being distracted or whatever, contact Light and conspire your revenge with him, promising to help him with his goal_

Kyoya: Heh, what better time than now? (contacts Light)

Light: (enters room) 'Sup?

Kyoya: I will help you with your goal…

Light: Really?

Kyoya: If you help me get revenge on a bitch who laughed at my misfortunes and called me things like 'Clacky-tran'!

Light: Uhh…sure!

Twins: (sniggering in corner) Hehehe, Clacky-tran…Clackyoya…hehehe…

Kyoya: Hmm…but what should we do…

Light: Maybe we can make her do what she made you do…

Kyoya: …yes…I have a plan…

Kris: (walks back into room) You _do_ know whose typing this all up, don't you?

Kyoya: Slave, go outside for 10 more minutes!

**----10 minutes later----**

Kris: (comes back in) I'm baaaaaaaaaack!

Kyoya: Slave, go get some coffee out of the cupboard

Kris: Yes, your tranniness

Everyone: (watches Kris)

Kris: (opens cupboard) (is covered in clacky shoes) What the hal? Kyoya, what did I tell you the other day about leaving your shoes lying around?

Kyoya: Those aren't mine (smirk)

Kris: (stands up) Huh? What's this? (has a pair of really high heeled clackies attached to feet) (they are locked on)

Kyoya: Success (slaps Light high-five)

Kris: Heh, well I'm a girl you know, so it's not so bad (attempts to walk but stacks every time)

Razz: Yes Kris, but you're hopeless. You just don't have Kyoya or Ishida's talents…

Kyoya and Ishida: Hahaha-hey :/

Kyoya: Clean this mess up, slave! And lets get on with this thing

Kagome: _Hikaru: Enter a skateboarding contest, even though you have no experience whatsoever to impress Haruhi...or DO you have experience?_

Hikaru: Of corse I have experience…heheheh…

Everyone: =/

Hikaru: (under breath) crapp…

Kagome: _Kaoru: While being extra discreet, do everything you can to make sure Hikaru wins. Use every trick possible, just don't get caught. If you do, blame one of the stupid twins from Harry Potter. (No offense to anyone, but I LOATHE Harry Potter)._

Kaoru: Sure thing! (gives Hikaru an auto-pilot skate board) All you have to do is not fall off…

(The skate contest begins)

Haruhi: (sits down) this had better be good…

Announcer: And now, Hikaru Hitachiin!

Hikaru: (appears on his auto-board) (starts skating) (is actually pretty good, until…he falls off and the auto-board continues skating in its own way)

Announcer: An auto-board? This is not allowed…

Haruhi:…lame

Hikaru: I didn't know it was an auto-board!

Announcer: What about your brother?

Kaoru: I didn't do it…it was Fred, I swear!

Fred: o.O I'm dead…

Kris: Yeah, Kaoru just blame the dead guy…

Kaoru: Fine! It was George!

Haruhi: (leaves)

Hikaru: Wait Haruhi, I really am good! (stacks)

Haruhi: …sure…

Kagome: _Haruhi: As punishment for calling Hikaru Kaoru on the last dare (Yeah, I noticed!) you have to switch with Tsukushi from Boys Over Flowers for the rest of the chapter. Tsukushi will handle your dares from there on._

Haruhi: Hmmm…well. I'm not going to complain to that (sits and watches weird movies with Inuyasha, Ed, L and the Bleach people)

Tsukushi: (enters) So what do I have to do?

Kris: Wait until Haruhi's next dare I guess…

Tsukushi: (goes and watches the weird movie in the mean time)

Kagome: _Mori: Do the hokey pokey at a preschool. A COMMONER preschool. That's located in a shady neighborhood. Outside. Where there are suspicious looking people staring at you from the other side of the fence._

Mori:…(goes to commoner preschool and starts doing the hokey pokey)

Pre-school Kids: Yay! Hokey pokey! (join in)

People over fence:…what is that young man doing over there?…he isn't a teacher, is he?…(mutter, mutter)

Kagome: Hunny: You get a free pass to Wonka's Candy Factory! And you can eat WHATEVER SWEETS YOU WANT! And there isn't a thing Willy nor the Oompa Loompas can do about it.

Hunny: Yaaaay! (goes to chocolate factory and begins eating. Everything.)

Willy wonka and Oompa loompas: (sweat drop)

Kagome: _Renge: You are not allowed anywhere near anything that concerns anime, manga, or video games. You'll be locked up in a crazy house, watching the news channel until the very next chapter._

Renge: What? No!

Kris: You gotta do it…

Renge: I don't wanna!

People in white coats (aka Soul Society captains): (go on a big road trip together, stopping at the mad house to drop Renge off)

Renge: (watching news channel: No…not…reality…too…real…(going truly mad) recession…government…wall street…Michael Jackson…

Kagome: _Mei: If Eclair is somehow still alive or whatever, have a contest. Doesn't matter what kind. If she's dead, have it with Ayakanoji instead._

Kris: I reckon she should have a contest with both of them

Mei: And what type of contest?

Tamaki:…a pillow fighting one!

_Five minutes later, Mei stands facing Éclair. They both are wielding a pillow. Ayakanoji stands ready as an understudy for Éclair_

Kris: Ready…set…fight!

Mei: (goes in for the first swing and plants pillow on side of Éclair's face)

Éclair: (gets Mei's shoulder)

Mei: (swipes Éclair's feet out from right under her)

Éclair: (is defeated)

Ayakanoji: (steps in and hits Mei in stomach with pillow)

Mei: (jumps over Ayakanoji and hits her in the back)

Ayakanoji: (is knocked flat)

Rukia: Winner! (holds up Mei's arm)

Kris: Wow Mei, you're real good o.O

Mei: Why thankyou…(turns to two she defeated) and next time it won't be with pillows either…

Mori: (continues to hokey pokey with pre-schoolers)

Kagome: _Ranka: Have a chainsaw at hand and keep a very close eye on Tamaki. If he's 2 feet within distance, rev it up as a warning. If he doesn't listen, chase after him, but no killing him since the fans won't like that. But you're allowed to shred his hair and clothes._

Ranka: Hmm…this will come in useful later on…(keeps a close eye on Tamaki)

Kagome: _Kasanoda: Have a paintball fight with your rival gang, Tetsuya as your partner. It's 2 on 2. The war area, the host club itself. Breaking objects gives you extra points._

Kasonoda: Alright! You ready, Tetsuya?

Tetsuya: Sure am!

Kyoya: Wait! Don't go breaking everything!

Kasonoda: We can't make that promise. Besides, we want the extra points, don't we?

Kyoya: But-

Rival gang: (enter)

_Paint ball war begins. Every who isn't part of Kasonoda or he rival gang seek refuge under chairs and tables. Except for a few certain Bleach characters who want to get involved, but soon find there is not enough paintball guns._

**Three hours later**

Kyoya: Damn it. Did you go out of your way to break everything?

Tetsuya: Yeah, pretty much…

Kasonoda: And we won!

Kris: Well that's great!

Kyoya: No, that is not great! You two, get into these host uniforms now. You are going to work off your debts along with Haruhi and the short guy!

Kris: Hahaha!

Kyoya: And you can clean up this mess!

Kris: Oww…(clacktrip)

Kagome: Well I guess its time for the next dare…_Nekozawa: You must separate yourself from Beelzenof (I have no idea how to spell the puppet's name correctly) for the entire chapter. And your cloak must be painted...yellow. Bright, luminous, eye burning yellow. Like the lame old fashioned rain coat yellow._

Nekozawa: What? No! I can't be separated from Belzenef!

Kris: Its only for the rest of the chapter. And you still have Zombie cat.

Zombie cat: nyaaaar!

Nekozawa: …kay then…(disposes of Belzenef for rest of chapter)

Kris: Now for the cloak…

Nekozawa: What?! (backs away) No, no way!

Kris: Kasonoda, Tetsuya. Go after him with your paintball guns. Stacked with bright, luminous yellow paint.

Kasonoda and Tetsuya: (do so)

Nekozawa: No! Nooooooooooooo! It burns!!! (tries to dodge paint, but fails) (cloak is toon bright yellow and he is curled up in the foetal position in the corner)

Kagome: _All you guys are free to do other dares, but must resume your activities! Except Haruhi, for Tsukushi will be handling the rest of her dares_ Hmm…That's all from Princess-Christina-Ark then

Kris: Next dare is from Chieko Hitachiin. As Razz said before the free loaders need to do something, so out of all of you, who wants to read?

Kon: Oh, pick me! Pick me!

Kris: Go ahead

Kon: These are from Chieko Hitachiin

Ichigo: We've established that…

Kon: Shut up!! It says: _Tamaki: I dare you to dress up as Hikaru and kiss Kaoru passionately._

Tamaki: Why me??!

Kris: Because it says!

Tamaki: (sigh) fine! (dresses up like Hikaru and goes over to Kaoru)

Kaoru: (doesn't notice the difference) Hey, Hikaru

Tamaki: (kisses him passionately)

Kaoru: Whoa, Hikaru!

Hikaru: (walks in all stitched up from his little skating accident) Kaoru, why are you kissing Tamaki? And Tamaki why are you dressed as me?

Kaoru: Wha? (pulls away) Tono?! (gets mad)

Tamaki: (backs away) It's not what you think…

Kaoru: Get him! (chases after Tamaki with Hikaru)

Tamaki: Arrrggghhh! (runs)

Kon: _Kyouya: I dare you to dress up as Ed from Fullmetal and do the Caramelldansen dance._

Kyoya: (sigh) I was hoping I would remain undetected…Hey, midget Ed…

Ed: I'll teach you to call me a tiny little twerp bean whose so short he can only be seen under a microscope!

Kyoya: I never said that…

Ed: (grumblemumble)

Kyoya: Well I gave you my spare uniform, where did you put your normal clothes?

Ed: Uhh…they're over there…

Kyoya: 'Kay (puts them on. They are too short in the arms and legs)

Kris: Aww, they swapped clothes…

Ed: Heh, he only wishes he was short like me…

Razz: He has to so that dance thing too

Kris: Oh yeah, that. Love the song. Hate the dance. Its so ghhheyyy! ... (is yet to find someone who agrees)

Kyoya: I agree!

Kris: Wow, something we agree on…

Kyoya: Except I hate the song too

Kris: Oh…

Tamaki: (escapes from twins) Well I love the song _and_ the dance

Kris: I bet Renge does too… anyways, you gotta do it Clacky!

Kyoya: (glares) Will you come and show me how its done

Kris: I don't need to show you, any idiot can do it

Kyoya: Come on, slave

Kris: Alright then (stands, wobbles and trips over dumb clackies)

Kyoya: Hahaha! Serves you right (high five Light)

Kris: Hey, what did I ever do to you?

Kyoya: Well-

Kris: Not you, Light!

Light:…Ooroti-san is helping me with my goal…

Kris: Right…(sweat drop)

Tamaki: Dance, Kyoya!

Kyoya: Alright! Fine! (starts to do the Caramelldansen dance with a very angry face)

Kris: You gotta smile like an idiot!

Jaki: "…smile…like…idiot…"

Ed: Great…now he's making himself _and_ me look stupid at the same time…that jerk…

Kyoya: (makes a dumb idiot smile)

Kris: Righty, now that he's occupied, next dare!

Kon: _Twins: I have to do this but Hikaru, kiss Haruhi and admit that you love her._

Hikaru: Okay! (goes over to haruhi) (kisses her) I love you Haruhi

Haruhi: o.O Hikaru…

Tamaki: HIKARU!!

Hikaru: Hey, you dressed like me and kissed my brother. This should be okay!

Tamaki: But…you…ugh! (goes and cries in the corner next to the bright, colourful Nekozawa)

Kon: _Mori: Sing your theme song._

Mori: (is still at the pre-school doing the hokey pokey) (begins singing)

(note: I couldn't actually find Mori's song, so he's singing Hunny's one instead)

_If fun things are waiting, then I look forward to them all the time!  
I've found something cute and I want everything!  
Even in a forest, even in the water  
I can pursue it endlessly!  
Break through the barrier that obstructs my path! I'll lightly hurl it away!_

_Exploration - together with Usa-chan! Search for treasure chests!  
I'll go toward the exciting dream island  
Exploration - together with Takashi! So we'll be okay!  
Let's depart on a cheery journey!  
Doki Doki!_

_On days when happy things happened, I had a megaton-level smile!  
I'll share plenty of happiness with you, who are depressed!_

_With one flick of a magic wand, Usa-chan transforms into Kuma-chan  
This is Tama-chan's Kuma-chan. (T_T) This isn't cute at all_

_Exploration - together with everyone! Search for treasure chests!  
I'll go toward the exciting dream island  
Exploration - together all the time! So we'll be okay!  
Let's depart on a cheery journey!  
Doki Doki!_

_Exploration - together with Usa-chan! Search for treasure chests!  
I'll go toward the exciting dream island  
Exploration - together with Takashi! So we'll be okay!  
Let's depart on a cheery journey!  
Doki Doki!_

_Exploration - together with everyone! Search for treasure chests!  
I'll go toward the exciting dream island  
Exploration - together all the time! So we'll be okay!  
Let's depart on a cheery journey!  
Doki Doki!_

Pre-schoolers: Wau! Mori-kun!

Kris: It sounded better in Japanese

Razz: J-pop always does…

Kon: _Honey: Don't eat sweets for a week!_

Hunny: Huh? (has just come back from the chocolate factory, carrying half its contents)

Haruhi: You'd better put those away for now then…

Hunny: But…(tears up) I want them now…

Kris: Sorry Hunny, but that can't happen

Hunny: (trembling. A very dangerous sign)

Kris: Oh crap…

Tamaki: (gets up from corner) Everyone take cover!

Everyone: (takes cover)

Hunny: (is about to explode, when Mori walks in) (runs over to Mori) (hugs leg) Waaaah! No sweets for week!

Mori:…? Mitzukuni?

Hunny: (runs outside on crazy rampage)

Kaoru: …He'll be back…

Kon: No more dares from Chieko Hitachiin!

Kris: Thanks Chieko! Who wants to read next?

Mizurio: I will! This one is from Uchiha Felicia-_Dear Tamaki,_

_can i join the host club?_

_*dashes over to where tamaki is* hey im here? ^_^_

_(im a pale *not that pale* teenage "boy", 16, redframed glasses with little gems on the side, brown hair and eyes)_

Tamaki: Yes, of corse! That's four new hosts this chapter…well seeing as Kasonoda and Tetsuya are serving together, you can go off with the shorty…

Ed: I'm not a pintsized, microscopic- (you get the idea)

Tamaki: I was talking about Haruhi…

Haruhi: I'm not short either!

Mizurio: Well that's Uchiha's dare done

Kris: Thanks, Uchiha. Read the next ones too, Mizurio

Mizurio: These are from Rowangirl96 _Very nice Kris, very nice. Can I call you Kris?  
_  
Kris: You sure can (clacky shoe trip)

Mizurio: _Any ways, hello hosts . . . I'm Back. MWAHAHAHAHA! Alright, to the dares now. ( I can resume the evil laughter later.)  
1. I hope you had fun Tamaki. Now, you can wear regular clothes. BUT you have to go to every place with automatic doors, stand in front of them, and yell "I AM MOSES!" as they open._

Tamaki: Alright!

Kris: Hehe, this sounds funny…

Tamaki: (goes to supermarket) I AM MOSES! (door open) (Office building) I AM MOSES! (shopping centre) I AM MOSES! (airport) I AM MOSES! (fast food outlet) I AM MOSES! (disabled toilet cubicle) I AM MOSES!

Kris: Well lets just let him be for now. Next dare?

Kyoya: (still doing the dance) Slave, when can I stop?

Kris: When you're next needed

Kyoya: Get us some tea!

Kris: (stumbles out in dumb shoes)

Mizurio: _2. Haruhi! Did you spread the love? Now, you must go tell all your customers that your going gay. And tell them "It's not you, it's me."  
_  
Tsukushi: Do I handle her dares?

Razz: Yes, but this would only really make sense if Haruhi did it…

Haruhi: I'm not gay! But yes, I did spread the love

Razz: I have a plan…

**Five minutes later  
**  
Haruhi: (walks over to female customers) I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm gay ^.^

Female customer: What? Who for?

Haruhi: (sigh) That boy over there…(points to Tsukushi who is dressed as a guy)

Tsukushi: (sweat drop)

Female customer: Ah, I see why…he's cute…why must they all be gay?

Mizurio: _3. Kaoru! Did you have fun? Well your going back to the fun room. You have to tell all of the Eddy Fangirls that Edward sucks and Jacob is so much better. Oh and the door will be locked, so there's no escape._

Kaoru: But whyyy???!

Haruhi: Oh come on, it can't be that bad, can it?

Kris: You'd be surprised…

Kaoru: Wish me luck…

Hikaru: (hugs Kaoru) Don't die, Kaoru!

Kaoru: I'll try…(enters room of EC fangirls)

EC Fangirls: (whisper whisper) Isn't that one of the guys who was stuffing around at that convention (glare)

Kaoru: (gulp) Edward sucks! Jacob is much better!

EC Fangirl1: What did you say?

Kaoru: I-I said that Edward sucks and Jacob is much better…

EC Fangirl2: …get him

EC Fangirls: (come after Kaoru with fists, nails, teeth, baseball bats, Twilight books and acid)

Kaoru: (running from them) Ah come on, its just a book…

EC Fangirl3: Just a book? Just a book?! We'll show you just a book!!!

Kaoru: eep!

Hikaru: (back in other room) I've gotta go help him…

Mizurio: _4. Hikaru, you can't save Kaoru, sorry, but you will be busy._

Hikaru: What? Why can't I save him? What am I gonna do instead?

Mizurio: _YOU are going to dress up as the burger king and you are going to hug as many people as you can for as long as possible._

Hikaru:…OK! That sounds like fun…

Kris: (snicker)

Hikaru: (dresses up as burger king) (hugs Haruhi)

Tamaki: (enters room) I AM MOSES! (sees Hikaru hugging Haruhi) Hey get off her!

Hikaru: (hugs Tamaki)

Tamaki: o.O

Hikaru: (proceeds to hug everyone in his way—L, Tamaki again, Kyoya, Urahara, Jaki, Hitsugaya, Zombie cat, and Ranka)

Mizurio: _5. Kyoya. . . . I am going to make you cry! Mwahahaha! *Ahem* You are going to dress up as Hannah Montana and you are going to go to a store where very prestigous people shop and you are going to sing "Hey Mickey". Then you will slap a random but very important person in the face and scream "I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!" Then you are free to leave._

Kyoya: What? No!

Kris, Razz and pretty much everybody else:…lol

Jaki: "…lol…"

Kyoya: I will not go through with this!

Kris: Is there really any point in arguing, Clacky?

Kyoya: …

_Five minutes later, we have been teleported to one of the finest shopping boutiques in Paris. Kyoya is wearing a Hannah Montana wig and is dressed in very funky attire_

Kyoya: Hannah Montana doesn't even sing "Hey Mickey"

Kris: Who cares? You're gonna

Kyoya: Fine (begins singing)

_Oh Mickey, you're so fine  
You're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey, hey Mickey  
Oh Mickey, you're so fine  
You're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey, hey Mickey  
Oh Mickey, you're so fine  
You're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey..._

_Hey Mickey  
You've been around all night and that's a little long  
You think you've got the right but I think you've got it wrong  
Why can't we say goodnight? So you can take me home, Mickey_

_Cause when you say you will, it always means you won't  
You're givin' me the chills, baby, please baby don't  
Every night you still leave me all alone, Mickey_

_Oh Mickey, what a pity, you don't understand  
You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand  
Oh Mickey, you're so pretty, can't you understand  
It's guys like you, Mickey  
Ooh what you do Mickey, do Mickey  
Don't break my heart, Mickey_

_Hey Mickey  
Now when you take me by the... who's... ever gonna know  
Every time you move I let a little more show  
There's something you can use, so don't say no, Mickey_

_So come on and give it to me anyway you can  
Anyway you want to do it, I'll take it like a man  
Oh please baby, please don't leave me in this jam Mickey_

_Oh Mickey, what a pity, you don't understand  
You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand  
Oh Mickey, you're so pretty, can't you understand  
It's guys like you, Mickey  
Ooh what you do Mickey, do Mickey  
Don't break my heart, Mickey_

Everybody (including French people): (applaud) Go Hannah Montana/Clacky/Kyoya/Ishida!

Hikaru: (hugs Kyoya)

Kyoya: Get off! You already did this to me before…(pushes Hikaru off) (marches up to store manager) (slaps in face) I THOUGH WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!!!!

Everyone who doesn't know what's going on: o.O

Store Manager: Security!

Kyoya and T/D crew: Craaap!

Razz: Back to Australia people, before they get us!

Hikaru: (hugs some French people on the way out)

**Back in Australia**

Kyoya: Well that didn't go as bad as I thought

Kris:…Speak for yourself (tripped on way out from shoes)

Kaoru: (being stitched up by Haruhi from EC fangirl wounds) Hahaha…I wish I could have seen it…

Kyoya: But you see me humiliate myself every other time

Hikaru: (hugs both Kaoru and Haruhi) Don't worry, Kaoru. I got it on video for you!

Kris: Next dare?

Mizurio: _6. Mori, you are going to go on a date with Renge and then . . you will be locked in a closet with Micheal Jackson!_

Kris: That's a bit worrisome…the first part, I mean…

Haruhi: And what about the second?

Kris: Oh yeah, that too

Mori:…okay (goes to the loopy house to find Renge still there)

Renge: (sees Mori and tackle hugs him)

Mori: (is scared)(goes on date)(hides in closet)

Michael Jackson: (in closet too) Why, hello there…

Mori:…aren't you dead?…

Michael Jackson: Hmmm…not when this dare was made now you mention it…

Mori: Funny how that works, hey?

Michael Jackson: Yeah...do you like fried rice?

Mori:...yes, actually

_Meanwhile, outside the closet..._

Tamaki: It seems Mori is always getting locked in the closet with someone

Inuyasha: Heh, well this guy is even scarier than me

Tamaki: True

Mizurio: And now the final dare from Rowangirl is—(cannot read, as Hikaru is hugging him)

Kris: Let him read, Hikaru

Hikaru: (walks over to Kris)

Kris: Look! (pulls Razz over) It's Razz!

Hikaru: (hugs Razz)

Razz: o.O

Mizurio: Ahem, her final dare says _6. Hunny . .I'M SORRY! *tears up* I kinda feel bad . . . OH WELL! You have to eat three pounds of raw vegetable . .no sweets!_

Hunny: (runs back inside from his crazy rampage) Do what now?!

Kris: Get eating!

Hunny: (angrily begins the vegetables, some times chucking them under the table or hiding them in Kyoya's notebook)

Mizurio: _Oh well, I'm off. Have fun guys! Mwahahah- *stops and looks out the window* IS THAT JOHNNY DEPP!? JOHNNY! WAIT FOR ME! I LOVE YOU!_

Kris: Johnny Depp's here now?

Johnny: (walks in in willy-wonka clothes) (goes to Hunny) How much candy did you take?

Hunny: Here, have some vegies. They're good for you

Kris: Well thankyou for those, Rowangirl. Tatsuki can read the next one.

Tatsuki: Righty-o. This is from Lurking-in-Shadows.

_YEAY!! Thank you so much for doing my dares/truths!! Some of the other ones were really good. I honestly don't 'hate' Eclair that much. If she didn't try to take Tamaki away from the hosts, then she would have been like all the other slightly spoiled girls from Ouran High.  
_Everyone: Yeah true  
Haruhi: She's still a bitch, though  
_Tatsuki: Meh, still the killings were funny. Still love your story and the only dare I have right now is for YOU. dun dun da. yup, I want you to do one of the dares/truths for your next chapter along with the victim. (I'm not feeling creative right now.) You may choose which one but please don't let it be one of the good ones like eating cake. Bwahahaha. k then. Still your fan~ Aly._

Kris: Hmm…sounds interesting

Razz: I'll make it even more interesting. I'll pick the dare out for her (wink)

Kris: hehe…(sweatdrop) thankyou, Lurking-in-Shadows…

Tatsuki: These are from xXBeyondBirthdayXx

_hi! this fic is the best xD._

_Kyouya: why do you always have to sing stuff?_

Kyoya: That's a good and easy question, Beyond Birthday. Simply because the person who runs this is a moron.

Kris: (clack) Watch it, clack queen…

Kyoya: Also because I'm dared to I guess…for some reason people find the idea of me putting on women's clothing and belting out ridiculous ballads quite humorous

Everyone but Kyoya: (snicker)

Kyoya: (glare)

Tatsuki: _Hunny: -blush- i-i dare Hunny to hug me..._

Hunny: (finishes nasty veggies, with help from table, Willy-wonka and Kyoya's notebook) Kay ^.^ (goes up to xXBeyondBirthdayXx and gives her a biiiig hug)

Tatsuki: _Mori: sing Shut Up and Sleep With Me to any MALE host of your choice!_

Mori: (bursts out of closet, Michael Jackson close behind) (sees Hikaru is closest) (starts singing to him)

_Shut up  
and sleep with me  
Come on why don't you sleep with me  
Shut up  
and sleep with me  
Come on uh huh and sleep with me  
I love your body  
Not so much I like your mind  
Infact you're boring  
Pretend not being of my kind  
You keep on talking of some girl I don't know  
When will you shut up and when will we go  
You were young, you're free,  
Why don't you sleep with me?  
Shut up  
and sleep with me  
Come on why don't you sleep with me  
Shut up  
and sleep with me  
Come on uh huh and sleep with me)  
Don't you listen to those old conventions  
No try to suppress your real intentions  
You're open minded, at least that's what you keep on sayin'  
Don't be afraid of doing what you're best at  
Shut up  
Shut up  
Shut up  
Shut up  
Shut up  
Shut up  
Shut up  
Shut up...up...up  
Shut up  
and sleep with me  
Come on why don't you sleep with me  
Shut up  
and sleep with me  
Come on uh huh and sleep with me  
Shut up...  
Shut up  
and sleep with me  
Come on why don't you sleep with me  
Shut up  
and sleep with me  
Come on uh huh and sleep with me_

Hikaru: (hugs Mori, still wearing his Burger King outfit)

Mori:…(pats Hikaru on the head)

Tatsuki: _Hikaru and Kaoru: u-um... will you two just get together already? Many fangirls are waiting!_

Kaoru: Hmmm…you never know…maybe we will

Hikaru: (pulls away from Mori) at a time like this, we would get into the closet together, but Michael Jackson's hiding in there…

Kaoru: Hikaru, lets move under the table

Hikaru: Yes, lets!

_They move under the table, only to find Nell, Yachiru and L playing cards_

Twins: …damn…(chase the perpetrators out, Hikaru hugging the three of them)

Tatsuki: _Haruhi: you're so cool! i like HaruhixTamaki, but why that idiot?_

Haruhi: Well…I don't really know…you'd have to ask Hatori Bisco

Hatori: hmm…a good couple

Haruhi: Yes, Hatori-sama, but why that idiot?

Hatori: Because its funny to watch

Haruhi: Yeah, I guess I'd choose him…

Tamaki: Oh Haruhi…(walks over to Haruhi)

Ranka: (revs up chainsaw and chases after Tamaki) Told you it would come in handy!

Tamaki: Nooooooooo~!

Tatsuki: That's all from xXBeyondBirthdayXx

Kris: Thankyou for those

Hikaru: (comes out from table) (hugs Tatsuki)

Tatsuki: Get off, weirdo! (kicks him away)

Hikaru: (gets up and hugs the closest people to him all at once- Light, Kasonoda, Inuyasha, Kagome, Soi Fon, Uchiha and Tsukushi)

Light, Kasonoda, Inuyasha, Kagome, Soi Fon, Uchiha and Tsukushi: (all squished together) o.O

Kris: Who wants to read next?

Keigo: Me! Me!

Kris: Alright

Keigo: Woot! (bounces around room) Okay! Now these are from Miharu365… _I need to add more Twilight-Bashing. :D_

Everyone: (applaud)

Keigo:_ I dare Tamaki to die his hair bronze, put in pee-colored contacts, cover himself in glitter, and walk into hot topic. He can not leave the store for 30 minutes._

Kris: Ahahaha! Pee coloured contacts! That's a great one!

Tamaki: (escaped Ranka) Hehe, I can do this…(quickly dyes his hair bronze, puts in the pee-coloured contacts and rolls in some glitter) (gets up) How do I look?

Kyoya: Absolutely ridiculous. They'll love it.

Tamaki: (walks into Hot Topic and is instantly surrounded)

EC Fangirl1: OMG! Its Edward!

EC Fangirl2: OMGbiteme!

Tamaki:…hehehe…(thinking) When will this 30 minutes end??!

Keigo: _I dare Haruhi to tell Bella Swan that Edward left to get married to some brazilian ** in Las Vegas. Haruhi must stay within 5 feet of Bella for 5 minutes_

Tsukushi: (stands) I guess I have to do this huh?

Kris: Maybe you should both go…

Bella: (sitting outside)

Tsukushi: Hey, you know Edward left you

Haruhi: He went out one night, got drunk as hell and married a Brazilian man, thinking he was Victoria…

Bella: He did WHAT?!

Tsukushi: (to Haruhi) Make sure you brace yourself for the next five minutes…

Haruhi: (thinking) I never thought Bella would be this gullible…

Keigo: I dare Kaoru to crash Edward's car. How they do this is their choice.

Kaoru: Alright! (steals Edwards car) (drives it into a pie shop) (runs away with pie) Hehehe…I can't even drive…

Keigo: _Hikaru has to steal Tyler's van and run Bella over._

Bella: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

Haruhi: (to Tsukushi) Five minutes is nearly up

Kaoru: (Drives up in Tyler's van)

Tsukushi: Lets go!

Kaoru: (drives into Bella)

Bella: eep!

Kaoru: (jumps out of van) That felt great!

Keigo: (crying) That was great!

Kaoru and Keigo: (get hugged by Hikaru)

Tyler: (walks over) Noooooo~! My Van! My beautiful van!!! Oh and Bella died too. Oh! Free pie! (steals some pies)

Kris: Haha, thanks Miharu, that was amusing…I wonder how Tamaki is going…

**Flash to Hot Topic**

Tamaki: (is surrounded by more Twilight people)

EC Fangirl3: Bite me Edward, bite me!!!

Tamaki: Helpp!

**And we return...**

Kris: Alright, who wants to read next?

Gin: I will! These are from Cold Mist

Kris: Woot!

Gin: _This just keeps getting funnier! And longer._

_Okay heres the dares!_

_Haruhi- I dare you to go over to Tamaki's grandmothers house and tell her that you're in love with tamaki and theres nothing that ** can do about it_

Tsukushi: I guess I do this too…(goes to Tamaki's Grandma's house) (goes to Tamaki's Grandma) I am in love with your Grandson and there's nothing you can do about it!

Tamaki's Gran: Who are you?

Tsukushi: Umm…

Haruhi: Its actually me whose in love with him

Tamaki's Gran: You?!

Haruhi: Time to go! (runs)

Gin: _Tamaki truth question: If you were to date one of the male hosts which one would it be?_

Tamaki: (returns from Hot Topic, undyes hair, removes glitter and takes piss contacts out) Hmm…well If I dated one of the twins, the other would get jealous, if I dated Mori, Hunny would get jealous and vica-versa. Which leaves Kyoya. I would date him, but I'm not gay…or am I? (shifty eyes)

Kris: Whatever makes you happy

Kyoya: Do you really feel that way for me, Tamaki?

Tamaki: I guess so

Hikaru: (hugs Tamaki and Kyoya together) Lets spread the love~!

Tamaki: ...

Gin: _Kyouya aka Clacky: The tables have turned. This time YOU must be Kris's servant and you must wear a maid outfit and your clakcy shoes the whole time. If a dare tells you that you to wear something else do so but then resume original attire_

Kyoya: Heck no…

Kris: HECK YESSS!!

Kyoya: Please, not that bitch!

Kaoru: (brings out maid outfit and clackies for clacky)

Kyoya: (grudgingly gets changed)

Kris: If it makes you feel any better, that outfit looks real good on you

Kyoya:…(glare)

Kris: You really do! Almost as sexy as that time in episode 8!

Kyoya: Shut up and what can I get you?

Kris: Go hand in my assignments to school. And stop and get everyone hot chocolate on the way home…and heres some money for the train

Kyoya: (leaves)

Kris: What a good boy

Gin: _Twins: Confiscate Tamaki's Kuma-chan and just do whatever the hell you want with it._

Hikaru: (goes and gets the bear and hugs it)

Tamaki: Don't you dare touch my Kuma-chan!

Kaoru: (sniffs) (gags) Ughh…the zombie cat pissed on it…

Hikaru: Uh well. We'll just have to deodorize it and use it some how…

Tamaki: You will not, you sickos!

Twins: (laugh mischievously and run)

Tamaki: Get back here, you!

Twins: (garnish Kuma-chan in various frilly garments and accessories)

Tamaki: Noooooo, nooo! Kuma-chan is a boy!

Yuzu: Ooooh! I wanna help! (adds flowers to Kuma-chan)

Kon: I'm really feeling for this Kuma guy…

Tamaki: Great! Having a bear dressed up in woman's clothing is not manly

Kris: And carrying around a bear at your age is?

Tamaki: …Hunny-senpai does it

Kris: Hunny can get away with it

Tamaki: (mopes outside)

Gin: _Hunny and Mori: Dress up in geisha atire and makeup and everything and go down to the tranny bar and try to impress the people there. Don't worry I'll make sure the others are watching cuz i snuck a webcam in there yada yada yada_

Mori: …

Hunny: OK!

(a few minutes later, Mori is dressed in a forest green kimono, while Hunny is dressed in a deep pink one)

Hunny: Lets go then!

Hunny and Mori: (go)

Kris: (gets onto computer) Lets see…she said snuck a webcam in there…ah here we go!

Everyone: (gather around computer)

**At tranny bar**

Hunny and Mori: (sitting at Tranny bar)

Ranka: (walks up to them) Hunny? Mori? Is that you guys?

Mori:…no

Ranka's tranny friends: Ooooh! New employees! Dance for us!

Hunny and Mori:…

**Five minutes later**

Hunny and Mori: (are dancing)

**Back in T/D room**

Renji: (watching Hunny and Mori) Hehehe, hey Byakuya, doesn't this remind you of that time we got drunk and-

Byakuya: shut up

Hikaru: (hugs the two from behind)

Byakuya:…get off

Tamaki: (comes back in through door) I AM MOSUS!

Kyoya: (comes back in also with hot chocolates for everyone)

Kris: Good boy!

Kyoya: (glare) (sees Hunny and Mori dancing on screen) o.O

Gin: _Lobelia girls: dare you to try to steal Haruhi away from the host club. Just try. And well all see what happens_

Lobelia girls: (still dressed as Gin, Chizuru and Hinamori) (try to steal Haruhi)

Hikaru: (sneaks up from behind and hugs them)

Benio: Ugh! Get off, you male!

Gin: _Renge: Go lock your self in the trojan bunny and stay in there for the rest off the chapter unless dared_

Renge: (Is removed from the mental home and is put inside the Trojan Bunny, which is still conveniently parked outside)

Kris: Thankyou for those, Cold Mist.

Hunny and Mori: (still dancing)

Kris: Some one come and read

Ed: These are from Deadly Bitch

_Lol. Love this. I decide to bring Edward Cullen (Hate him.) back and he has to spend the entire chapter with Haruhi, doing whatever he wants with Tamaki watching. :) And no one else can go near her for the rest of the chapter_

Tamaki and Haruhi: Noooooooo~!

Ed Cullen: (walks in all sparkly) (sparkle sparkle) (walks over to Haruhi and puts arm around her) Why hello. You smell good.

Haruhi: o.O

Tamaki: (fuming)

Ed: _Hey, Kyouya... tell me if you like those Clacky shoes of yours. XD_

Kyoya: Dumb question, what do you think?

Kris: I think you like them

Kyoya: That's because you're stupid

Kris: Well you always seem to be wearing them…

Kyoya: That's because of you and the darers

Kris: Oh, right. Go get me a coke.

Kyoya: No more caffeine

Kris: (holds up limited edition pink clackies)

Kyoya: (sigh) fine

Ed: _I dare the Host Club to do their version of Potter Puppet Pals in "The Mysterious Ticking Noise". (Lol. I'm an HP addict.)_

Kris: Hahaha, that thing is so catchy xD

**Five minutes later**

Hunny and Mori: (back)

Mori: (is Snape)

Tamaki: (is Dumbledore)

Twins: (are both Ron)

Haruhi: (is Hermione)

Kyoya: (is Harry Potter)

Hunny: (is Voldemort)

_Curtains on stage open, revealing Mori standing there_

Sign: _Ouran High School Host Club presents: The Mysterious Ticking Noise_

Mori: What is that mysterious ticking noise? not over here.. not over there...its kinda.. catchy.. Mori, Mori, Takashi Morinozuka. (Razz: His name's too long xD)Mori, Mori, Takashi Morinozuka

Tamaki: (pops up) Tamaki!

Mori: Mori, Mori, Takashi Morinozuka

Tamaki: Tamaki!

Mori: Mori, Mori, Takashi Morinozuka

Tamaki: Tamaki!

Mori: Mori

Twins: (pop up) Hikaru

Mori: Mori

Twins: Kaoru

Mori: Takashi Morinozuka

Twins: Hitachiin!

Tamaki: Tamaki!

Mori: Mori

Twins: Hikaru

Mori: Mori

Twins: Kaoru

Mori: Takashi Morinozuka

Twins: Hitachiin!

Tamaki: Tamaki!

Mori: Mori

Twins: Hikaru

Haruhi: Haruhi

Mori: Mori

Twins: Kaoru

Mori: Takashi Morinozuka

Twins: Hitachiin!

Haruhi: (pops up) Haruhi

Tamaki: Tamaki!

Mori: Mori

Twins: Hikaru

Haruhi: Haruhi

Mori: Mori

Twins: Kaoru

Haruhi: Haruhi

Mori: Takashi Morinozuka

Twins: Hitachiin!

Haruhi: Haruhi

Tamaki: Tamaki!

Mori: Mori

Twins: Hikaru

Jaki: "…tamaki…"

Haruhi: Haruhi

Mori: Mori

Twins: Kaoru

Mori: Takashi Morinozuka

Twins: Hitachiin!

Haruhi: Haruhi

Tamaki: Tamaki!

Kyoya: (pops up) Kyoya Ootori Kyoya Ootori Ooh! Kyoya Ootori Kyoya Ootori Yeah Kyoya Ootori Kyoya Ootori Ooh! Kyoya Ootori Kyoya Ootori That's me!

Tamaki: Tamaki!

Mori: Mori

Kyoya: Kyoya

Mori: Mori

Kyoya: Kyoya

Mori: Mori

Kyoya: Kyoya

Mori: Mori

Kyoya: Kyoya

Tamaki: TAMAKI!

Haruhi: …Har-uhi!

Tamaki: Tamaki!

Mori: Mori

Twins: Hikaru

Haruhi: Haruhi

Mori: Mori

Twins: Kaoru

Mori: Takashi Morinozuka

Twins: Hitachiin!

Haruhi: Haruhi

Kyoya: Kyoya Ootori I'm Kyoya Ootori I'm Kyoya Ootori Kyoya Kyoya Ootori

All: Singing a Song All Day Long at Ouraaaaaaaaaaaaan! Yeah!

Twins: I found the source of the ticking! Its a Pipe Bomb!

All: Yay!

(explosion)

Hunny: (rises from ashes) (evil laugh) Mitzukuni, Mitzukuni ooh Mitzu- Mitzu Mitzu Mitzukuni!

Everybody else: (applausse)

Host club: (bow)

Kris: Hahaha, that was good. And you can put your clothes back on too, Tamaki…

Tamaki: (puts clothes on)

Ed: _I dare Hunny to go the whole chapter without any kind of sweets (even sour candies) unless he's told to._

Hunny: (already is) .

Ed: _Kaoru: I dare you to kiss Hikaru. Not on the cheek, though. On his lips. :D_

Kaoru: Oh, Hikaru!

Hikaru: Oh Kaoru

Twins: (kiss)

Kris: Omg, twincest

Host Club Fangirls: eeep!

Jaki: "…twincest…"

Ed: That's all from Deadly Bitch

Kris: Thankyou, Deadly Bitch

Inuyasha: I'll read these ones. They're from Rachi-Kun

_XD lol! These chapters keep getting funnier and funnier... and longer and longer...^^  
Well, i can't think too well at the moment, so i'll make it fairly easy for you guys, but don't think I'll let you off nicely every time =3  
ok, Kyoya, the truth i owe you; with all the action you've been getting with Tamaki, have you enjoyed it? ;)_

Kyoya: Uhh…

Everyone: (listening in)

Kyoya: Uhh…

Razz: Well?

Kyoya: Of corse not!

Jaki: …Liar

Hikaru: (walks over) Its okay Kyoya, we all know the truth (hugs him)

Kyoya: Get off me!

Inuyasha: _2. I dare all of the non-host people to form a wild mob and kill someone, i don't care who, there just must be some killing...  
alright, that's all =)_

Kris: Does that include all the free loaders?

Razz: Yeah, why not?

**Ten minutes later**

Kris: Hmmm…so who do we kill?

Kyoya: You!

Kris: Back down Clacky, you're not a part of this

Razz: Lets kill Osama Bin Larden!

Kris: Yay!

Every one but Hosts: (leave)

Kaoru: (points to Kasonoda, Ed, Uchiha and Tetsuya) What are they doing here?

Tetsuya: We're hosts too now ^.^ (takes next dares) These are from Selestyna Arpa364

_HOLY CRAP THIS STUFF IS AMAZING!_

_Okay i have several dares for them all (read them all please)and they are:_

_Mori, i dare you to sing 99 Problems in front of the Host Club fangirls at the top of your lungs._

Mori: (gets all pimped out)

Host Club Fangirls: (come in to see)

Mori:

_If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son  
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one_

_I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol  
Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed  
Rap critics they say he's "Money Cash Hoes"  
I'm from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those  
If you grew up with holes in ya zapatos  
You'd be celebrating the minute you was havin' dough  
I'm like fuck critics you can kiss my whole asshole  
If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward  
I got beef with radio if i don't play they show  
They don't play my hits i don't give a shit SO  
Rap mags try and use my black ass  
So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers  
I don't know what you take me as,  
Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has  
I'm from rags to ritches niggas I ain't dumb  
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one  
Hit me_

_99 problems but the bitch aint one  
If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son  
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one  
Hit me_

_The year's '94 and my trunk is raw  
In my rear view mirror is the mother fuckin' law  
I got two choices y'all pull over the car or (hmmm)  
Bounce on the double put the pedal to the floor  
Now I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jay.  
Plus i got a few dollars i can fight the case  
So I...pull over to the side of the road  
I heard "Son do you know why I'm stoppin' you for?"  
Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hats real low?  
Do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know  
Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'?  
"Well you was doin fifty-five in a fifty-fo' "  
"Liscense and registration and step out of the car"  
"Are you carryin' a weapon on you I know a lot of you are"  
I ain't steppin out of shit all my paper's legit  
"Well, do you mind if I look round the car a little bit?"  
Well my glove compartment is locked so are the trunk in the back  
And I know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that  
"Aren't you sharp as a tack, you some type of lawyer or something'?"  
"Or somebody important or somethin'?"  
Nah, I ain't pass the bar but i know a little bit  
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit  
"We'll see how smart you are when the K9 come"  
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one  
Hit me_

_99 Problems but a bitch ain't one  
if you havin girl problems  
i feel bad for you son  
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one hit me_

_99 Problems but a bitch ain't one  
if you havin girl problems  
i feel bad for you son  
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one  
Hit me_

_Now once upon a time not too long ago  
A nigga like myself had to strong arm a hoe  
This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a pussy  
But a pussy havin no God Damn sense, try and push me  
I tried to ignore him and talk to the Lord  
Pray for him, cause some fools just love to perform  
You know the type loud as a motor bike  
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight  
The only thing that's gonna happen is I'ma get to clappin  
He and his boys gon be yappin to the captain  
And there I go trapped in the kit kat again  
Back through the system with the riff raff again  
Fiends on the floor scratchin again  
paparazzi's with they cameras snappin them  
D.A. tried to give the nigga shaft again  
Half-a-mil for bail cause I'm African  
All because this fool was harrasin' them  
Tryin to play the boy like hes saccarin  
But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how I hold my gun  
I got 99 problems being a bitch ain't one.  
Hit me_

_You're crazy for this one Rick  
It's your boy_

Host Club fangirls: (claps)

Mori: (curtsies)

Tetsuya: _Hunny, I dare you to Brawl (Super Smash Bros. Brawl) against all of the Brawl characters at the same time._

Hunny: Okie dokie ^.^ (begins brawling)

Tetsuya: _Kyoya, i dare you to DELETE EVERYTHIN YOU HAVE TYPED ON YOUR COMPUTER IN THE PAST WEEK!_

Kyoya: Why?!

Ed: 'Cause that's what it says

Kyoya: Don't play smart with me, shorty

Ed: Who you calling midget?! =U

Hikaru: Kyoya! Hurry up and delete your crap!

Kyoya: It's not crap, its host club profits!

Kaoru: Just delete it, Clacky

Kyoya: Fine! (deletes) There, you happy!

Hikaru: "Everything you typed up this week" also includes that Hentai story of yours

Kyoya: I didn't write a Hentai, you sickos!

Twins: (laugh) Just fooling with ya!

Haruhi:…eww.

Tetsuya: _Hikaru, i dare you to imitate Haruhi for the rest of the day._

Hikaru: (acts all studious and makes some peasant coffee, before going to the supermarket for a sale)

Tetsuya: _Haruhi, i dare you to imitate Hikaru for the rest of the day._

Haruhi: (bothers Kyoya and hugs people)

Tetsuya: _Tamaki, i dare you to play a children's card game (aka Duel Monsters) with Yugi/Yami from Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (by Little Kuriboh) and you MUST be intense and dramatic through all of it._

Tamaki: Uhhh…okay! (has no idea how to play)

Yugi: (walks in)

Haruhi and Kaoru: (snigger) lol, short

Tamaki: (points dramatically at Yugi) I challenge you to a duel! (pulls out cards)

Yugi: Those are Pokemon cards, you dipshit

Brawl Pikachu: (steals pokemon cards)

Tamaki: (pulls out other cards)

Yugi: Naruto playing cards?

Tamaki: Drat! (pulls out more cards)

Yugi:……Clow cards?

_This cycle continues with Harry Potter Uno cards, LOTR character cards, One Piece collector cards, Lucky star cheer cards, Traditional playing cards, Ouran High cards and Sailor Moon cards_

Uchiha: How many sets of cards does he need? O.o

Haruhi: I'll say o.O

Tamaki: (finally pulls out Duel Monster cards)

Everyone: (cheer)

Yugi: Right, now lets get started. SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME ULTRA SPECIAL SEXY TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE! GO! (his voice gets lower as he tripples his short height and becomes Yami)

Ed: (thinking) I gotta learn that! =D

Tamaki: (unsure of what to do) (tries to transform also, but fails)

Yami: It's time to duel, you strange, silly person

Tamaki: eep! I activate my super awesome crazy cool inflatable panda pants!

Yami:…Is that even a card?

Tamaki: It is now…

Tetsuya: _Kaoru, i dare you to dance to Pop Lock and Drop it in front of the school chairman_

Kaoru: Okay. Want me to sing too?

Tetsuya: Sure

Yuzuru: (walks in)

Kaoru: (starts singing and dancing)

_f*** that thang up mami make it roll  
Once you pop lock drop it for me baby get low  
If your mama gave it to you baby girl let it show  
Once you pop lock drop it for me maybe we can roll (oh)_

_Pop lock and drop it_

_Baby Huey  
Tonight it's gon' be some changes  
No acting sadity  
So stop acting and get it clapping  
'Cause I'm knowing you feeling me  
Yeah you cute  
But don't let that shit go to your head  
'Cause with this cutie won't do  
Pimping another one will  
You prepared rocking a skirt  
And your heels so tall  
And we ain't with none of that tricking but our bills so tall  
I've been peeping you for a while and you're throwing it back  
If you looking for you balla we got dough in the back  
Look your color camello brown  
And your skin so smooth  
I'm having fantasies about what you and me can do  
And you an undercover freak  
You probably thinking the same  
I'm seeing light up on your face because you peeping my chain  
And I ain't tryna put you out there as if you a freak  
So don't even take it that way just say you did it for me  
And you probably roll with me 'cause it's money in my pockets  
So before then I gotta see you pop lock and drop it_

_I ain't gotta be your man  
But I really wouldn't mind  
We ain't got to talk again I'm just tryna have a time  
If you a balla pulla stack out and smack her on the ass  
Pop locking cock blockas get up out the way  
Let lil mami get low  
Give a space let her sweat  
The club turning to hoolas 'cause they shirts is so wet  
From the window to the wall  
Lil mama showing her thong  
The broad freaking herself it's telling me that it's on  
You ready then we can roll I'm telling you we can go  
I'm thinking if I can handle it the way you make it roll  
You grooving and speeding up  
You right in between us  
If you a stripteaser then baby don't tease us  
At first I thought I was tripping  
But my vision getting clearer  
You moving that thang around as if you practice in the mirror  
She doing a new dance  
What the next man said  
I'm like naw she just pop locking on a headstand_

_Make it roll to the left (left)  
Roll to the right (right)  
Pop lock and drop it get low a'ight  
Make it roll to the left (left)  
Roll to the right (right)  
Pop lock and drop it get low a'ight  
It ain't tricking if you got it  
We got it but I ain't giving  
Just bounce it and roll wit it and maybe you roll wit us  
It ain't tricking if you got it  
We got it and I ain't giving  
Just bounce it and roll wit it and maybe you roll wit us_

_Pop lock and drop it  
Now pop lock and drop it for me  
Pop lock and drop it  
Say pop lock and drop it  
What's your name girl  
Neva mind never mind  
Do you thang girl fuck you ain't never lied  
What's your name girl  
Never mind never mind  
Do you thang girl f*** you ain't never lied (Oh)_

Everyone: (cheer)

Kaoru: (is put on detention)

Non-host people: (get back)

Haruhi: So did you find him?

Kris: He wouldn't come out of his hole. The stinking coward…

Hikaru: I missed you, everyone!! (hugs Kenpachi)

Kenpachi: What? You wanna fight, Kid?

Hikaru: Eeep! (runs away)

Everyone: (Either watch Hunny brawling or Tamaki and Yami's card game)

Tamaki: Take that! Flying ying-yang puzzle piece of DOOOOM!!!

Yami: o.O

Tetsuya: _Renge, i dare you to count the number of rice pieces in 300 bowls of rice by screaming the numbers in Spanish._

Renge: (From inside Trojan Bunny) Yum! Rice!

Kris: You'd better get counting…

Renge: (starts) UNO! DOS! TRES!…

Jaki: "…dos…tres…" (she speaks Spanish with a Korean accent)

Tetsuya: _Kasanoda, i dare you to act like a cute chipmunk in front of all of the mafia dudes you hang with._

Kasonoda: What?

Kris: Hahaha!

Kasonoda: And how exactly does a cute little chipmunk act?

Kris:…

_Five minutes later_

Kasonoda: (has just swallowed 1000 litres of helium) (walks up to Mafia friends) Teehee, hi dudes, what's up?

Mafia dudes: ………?!

Tamaki: Hahaha (to Yami) his voice is even higher than yours when you're a midget!

Yami:…shut up, Buttmunch

Tetsuya: _Eclair, i dare you to fly to Pluto and never come back_

Éclair: (launched up in Apollo Space-craft)

Haruhi: So long, sucker!

Orihime: I hope she bought a jacket with her…I've heard it gets cold up there...

Tetsuya: _Nekozawa, i dare you to imitate Bobby Darin and sing 'Fly Me to the Moon' for Belzanoff (you must act like you MEAN it)._

Nekozawa: (walks over in bright yellow robes to where Belzanoff has been locked up in a closet) (starts singing)

_Fly me to the moon  
Let me play among the stars  
Let me see what spring is like  
On a-Jupiter and Mars  
In other words, hold my hand  
In other words, baby, kiss me_

_Fill my heart with song  
And let me sing for ever more  
You are all I long for  
All I worship and adore  
In other words, please be true  
In other words, I love you_

_Fill my heart with song  
Let me sing for ever more  
You are all I long for  
All I worship and adore  
In other words, please be true  
In other words, in other words  
I love you_

Razz: Hahaha, he's in love with a hand pupret

Nekozawa: Belzanoff is more than just a hand puppet!

Razz: …kay

Tetsuya: _Twins, i dare you to run around the library screaming about how much you hate librarians and how boring books are._

Twins: (run around, screaming) We hate librarians! Books are so boring!

Mrs. P: (sends them outside)

Tetsuya: _Belzanoff, i dare you to imitate the Joker and follow Tamaki around for a day and a half.  
_  
Belzanoff: (escapes from the closet) (sneaks up behind Tamaki who is still working out how to play the card game)

Tetsuya: _Ranka, i dare you to cover the library in bubble wrap, drink a Monster energy drink and bounce around off the walls like a maniac._

Ranka: (does just that and is sent outside with the twins)

Tamaki: (still oblivious to Belzanoff)

Renge: (still counting rice)…SETENTA Y OCHO! SETENTA Y NUEVE! OCHENTA!…

Tetsuya: _Kyoya, i dare you to WRITE A FANFIC about how much you love the Host Club._

Kyoya: (sits down) Okay then. (begins typing away)

Jaki: (sneaks up behind Kyoya) "…I…love…host…club…becau-"

Kyoya: (covers screen) Go away!

Tetsuya: _Well that's all for now, i hope you liked the suggestions._

Kris: Thankyou for those, Selestyna

Tamaki: Imense flailing rubber goldfish! Attack!

Jaki: "…flailing…rubber…goldf-"

Renge: OCHENTA Y CINCO! OCHENTA Y SEIS!…

Yami: Exodia! Go!

Tamaki and Imense flailing rubber goldfish: Ahh, poop.

Uchiha: (begins reading next dares) These are from La Principessa Dell'Opera!  
_You, my friend, are truly genius. And I am really enjoying this. Now for the dares: 1) I dare Hunny to be a playable character in Super Smash Brothers Brawl._

Hunny: (should be, as he is already brawling) USA-CHAN KIIICK!

Kirby: I'm fat and I like it :D

Uchiha: _2) I dare The Twins to go find Hogwarts and convince everyone and everybody (including the Host Club) that they are Fred and George Weasley.  
_  
Twins: (having been exiled from the school library and campus, they move on to seek asylum elsewhere) (find Hogwarts) (get Hogwarts clothes) (Run around acting like the Twins from Harry Potter)

Guy from skate board competition: Its those two who cheated!

Twins: Craap…

Uchiha: _3) I dare Eclair to go find a Ken Barbie doll and profess her undying love for him.  
_  
Éclair: (on Pluto) (finds old, icy Ken doll) OMGILOVEYOU! (Starts making out with it)

Jaki:…eww

Uchiha: _4) I dare Razz to blow up the Ken Barbie doll while Eclair is making out with it  
_  
Éclair: (busy making out with doll)

Razz: (somehow causes doll to blow up)

Everyone: lol

Uchiha: _5) I dare Tamaki to dress up like Link and try to murder Kyoya because Tamaki is convinced that Kyoya is Ganondorf.  
_  
Tamaki: (dresses up as Link and begins to walk across to room to where Kyoya is sitting innocently at his laptop writing his fanfiction) (However, on the way there he gets mixed up in the Brawl, as he is dressed as a brawl character) (he finally gets through, even walking right past the real Ganondorf in the process) (starts attacking Kyoya)

Kyoya: WT?! O.o (clacks away)

Uchiha: _6) I dare Kyoya to watch all of Adamwestslapdog's Legend of Zelda Abridged Series AND Majora's Mask Abridged_

Kyoya: (escapes Tamaki and begins watching)

Renge: …CIENTO DIECINUEVE! CIENTO VEINTE! CIENTO VEINTIUNO!…

Uchiha: _7) I dare Haruhi to read the entire Inheritance Cycle (as it is now) and write fan fiction about it._

Haruhi: Okay. (sits next to Kyoya) (starts reading)

Kyoya: (looks at Haruhi) Do you have any idea how annoying it is having nuts deep inside you?!

Haruhi: Ummmm…what?!

Uchiha: _8) I dare Kris to blindfold Jaki so that she can't read over anyone's shoulder for the entire chapter._

Kris: Oh yes! Why didn't I think of that Myself?

Jaki: "…to…blindfold…Jaki-" (is blindfolded)

Everyone: (cheer)

Jaki: "blind…fold…"

Kris: Oooops…I put it on the wrong way (quickly reverses blindfold, revealing blindfold label)

Tamaki: (finally discovers Belzenoff behind him) Eeep! (runs into brawl)

Uchiha: _9) I dare The Twins to go find Harry Potter  
_  
Twins: (have just escaped the guy from the skateboard comp) (set off to find Harry)

Uchiha: _10) I dare Kyoya to dress up as Harry Potter._

Kyoya: (does so)

Uchiha: _11) I dare Kyoya to have a showdown with Tamaki (who is still Link) because Kyoya is convinced that Tamaki is Voldemort  
_  
Tamakilink: (sees Kyoyaharry) (gasp) Ganondorf!

Kyoyaharry: (sees Tamakilink) (gasp) Voldemort! (begins fighting Tamakilink)

Twins: (walk in) (see Kyoyaharry) It's Harry =D! (run over and Hug him)

Kyoyaharry: What? Get off!

Uchiha: _12) I dare Renge to burn all of her cosplay costumes and take my Piano Proficiency test for me (and if she fails it, retribution with be swift and fleeting.). the Piano Proficiency test consists of playing in all 12 keys in major, minor, harmonic minor, and melodic minor. Then playing broken chords and arpeggios. Then playing two fake-book pieces (which are "Rights of Man" and that cheesy Titanic song), then accompanying my friend TJ while he sings "Weep You No More." And then playing vocalises without hesitation or mistakes. She cannot accept help from anyone.  
_  
Kris: Wow, that sounds really easy (/sarcasm)

Renge: OCHOCIENTOS SESENTA Y SIETE! CINCO! OCHOCIENTOS SESENTA Y OCHO!…What?

Kris: Do the dare

Renge: NoooooooooooooooooooooOCHOCIENTOS SESENTA Y NUEVE! (burns cosplay clothes and goes to piano thing) (Plays piano and counts rice)  
OCHOCIENTOS OCHENTA! OCHOCIENTOS OCHENTA Y UNO! OCHOCIENTOS OCHENTA Y DOS!

Uchiha: _13) I dare Ranka to be an actual man for the next three chapters.  
_  
Everyone: (gasp)

Haruhi: omg

Ranka: (walks back in as a man. The librarian doesn't recognise him and therefore doesn't tell him to leave)

Uchiha: _14) I dare everyone (including author and each character who has made an appearance in this chapter) to come to my college and sit through each and every performance of L'Incoronazione di Poppea and demand for encores at the end.  
_  
Kris: Alrighty…lets go, everyone.

Kris, Uchiha, Ranka, Haruhi, Renge, Kyoya, Kaoru, Hikaru, Tamaki, Belzenoff, Jaki, Ganondorf, Link, Éclair, Razz, Guy from skate board competition, Kirby, Immense flailing rubber goldfish, Yami/Yugi, Exodia, Tetsuya, Mrs. P, Nekozawa, Orihime, Mafia dudes, Kasonoda, Flying ying-yang puzzle piece of DOOOOM, Kenpachi, Yuzuru, Tamaki's super awesome crazy cool inflatable panda pants, Ed, Hunny, Mori, Host Club Fangirls, Inuyasha, Sign, Edward Cullen, Gin, Benio, Byakuya, Renji, Ranka's tranny friends, Kon, Yuzu, Kuma-chan, Tamaki's gran, Tsukushi, EC Fangirl3, Tyler, Bella, Tyler's van, Keigo, EC Fangirl2, EC Fangirl1, Light, Kagome, Soi Fon, Tatsuki, Bisco Hatori, Johnny Depp as Willy-wonka, Oompa-loompas, Mizurio, Michael Jackson, Store Manager, French people, L, Urahara, Hitsugaya, Zombiecat, Female customer, Pre-schoolers, Ichigo, Rival Gang, Mei, Rukia, Ayakanoji, People in white coats, People over fence, Fred, Announcer, Antoinette, Usual customers, Twilight fans, TV screen, Yachiru, Nell, Charliechick, Luffy, Nafisa, Hinamori, Chizuru, Oguchi, Chad, Ishida, Hinako, Chizuru, Clackies, and several unmentioned Bleach and Brawl characters (Take a deep breath, people): (go to La Principessa Dell'Opera's college and begin watching) (wait until the end of act 1) Encore! Encore!

Cast of L'Incoronazione di Poppea: (do an encore for us)

Everyone: Yeeeey!

**During first intermission  
**  
Kris: Hahaha…Nero…Remember learning about him in History last year, Razz?

Razz: Hahah, yeah.

Kris: He thought he was cool

Jaki: (can't see where she's going due to the blindfold) (crashes into a wall)

Uchiha: Heres some more dares…  
_15) I dare Hunny to incessantly quote Charlie the Unicorn_

Hunny: Charlieee!Charlieeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Uchiha: _16) I dare Mori to woo, romance, kiss, date, make out with and all that mushy stuff my sister, who is Selestyna Arpa364.  
_  
Selestyna: (appears)

Renge: DIEZCIENTOS CUARENTA Y TRES! Its You! DIEZCIENTOS CUARENTA Y CUATRO!

Selestyna: Yo ^.^

Mori: (Woos Selestyna) (the two go off somewhere together)

Uchiha: _17) I dare Tamaki to take the Master Sword to his grandmother and give that ** what she deserves.  
_  
Tamaki: (takes master sword) Be right back!

Announcer: Part two will be commencing in five minutes

Kris: Off we go~!

**Five minutes later**

Everyone: (watching second part) (second part begins)

Hunny: You are the Banana king, Charlie!

Benio: Shh! (watching very intently)

Everyone: (Cheers for encore at the end)

Cast of L'Incoronazione di Poppea: (do a bit of an encore)

**Second Intermission**

Hunny: Ring ring! Hello? Ring ring! Hello? Ring ring! Hello?…

Ichigo: Hmmmm…they sure sing a lot in this play, don't they

Ed: Well one would think, seeing as it's an opera

Luffy: I don't think you see anything wrong with singing though (still scarred from start of chapter)

Renge: MIL DOSCIENTOS CUARENTA Y UNO! MIL DOSCIENTOS CUARENTA Y DOS!

Hikaru: she had to lower her voice while we were in there…

Uchiha: More dare time!  
_18) I dare Kyoya to curse his father with the Bat Boogie Hex (learned from Ginny Weasley).  
_  
Kyoya: (still dressed as Harry Potter) (sneaks up behind Yoshio) (does so)

Uchiha: _19) I dare Kasanoda to convince everyone that he is Batman and sing the Spiderman theme song (the old one) at the top of his lungs.  
_  
Kasonoda: (suddenly in batman outfit) Guess what everyone, I'm batman!

Everyone: o.O Really?

Kasonoda: (begins singing at the top of his lungs)  
_Spiderman, Spiderman,  
Does whatever a spider can  
Spins a web, any size,  
Catches thieves just like flies  
Look Out!  
Here comes the Spiderman._

_Is he strong?  
Listen bud,  
He's got radioactive blood.  
Can he swing from a thread  
Take a look overhead  
Hey, there  
There goes the Spiderman._

_In the chill of night  
At the scene of a crime  
Like a streak of light  
He arrives just in time._

_Spiderman, Spiderman  
Friendly neighborhood Spiderman  
Wealth and fame  
He's ingnored  
Action is his reward._

_To him, life is a great big bang up  
Whenever there's a hang up  
You'll find the Spider man._

Everyone (including those unassociated with the truth or dare, who only came to see the play) o.O Well that was strange…

Kris: Hahahahaha xD

Announcer: Everyone please make your way into the theatre for part three of the production

Everyone: (gets back to seats and watch final part of Opera) (give huge encore at end)

Benio: So wonderful! We should perform that sometime. Would you like to star with me, Haruhi

Haruhi: I can't sing…

Cast of L'Incoronazione di Poppea: Do an encore again. And again. And again.

Everyone: (heads back out to foyer)

Uchiha: _20) I dare the entire host club and everyone affiliated with them to bow down and worship me, La Principessa Dell'Opera.  
_  
Principessa: (appears)

Tamaki: Ah, the lady herself (bows with other hosts and affiliates)

Uchiha: _21) I dare Haruhi to take voice lessons for me. Watch. I'll have her singing on pitch within a week.  
_  
Kris: You can do that?

Principessa: Yes

Benio: How great! Now you can star with me, Haruhi!

Haruhi:…great

Principessa: That's all for now! Have fun! There's more where that came from!

Kris: Thankyou! See you next time! (writes everyone back home)

Everyone: (back at home)

Orihime: (reading next dare) These are from Rhias.

Kris: Sis! :D

Tamaki: You have a sister?

Kyoya: This can't be good…

Orihime: _the hosts,_ _they have to rob a bank wearing bikinis and thongs (u know the kind I mean, not for the feet). also they should only take about $10 each and when they leave in the getaway car BARBIE GIRL by AQUA should be playing full ball for all to hear.  
I like this truth or dare it sounds like something my deranged sister would come up with ;-)  
see ya Krissy  
_  
Kris: Woot!

Host club: We have to do what?

Rhias: (walks in) (points to Haruhi) You can be the person driving the getaway vehicle.

Haruhi: Woot! No Bikini for me!

Tamaki: Owww…

Rhias: Everyone else, into your bikinis now! I don't want to see one manly item among you men when you enter.

Kris: Can Kasonoda and Nekozawa do it as well?

Rhias: No idea who they are, but okay.

Kasonoda: Noooooooo!

Nekozawa: (secretly wanted to anyways)

Tamaki: Do you even know who we are?

Rhias: Not really. I've never read or seen Ouran. I only came here because my sister made it. I've read Inuyasha, Ranma, Bleach and FMA though.

Inuyasha, Kagome, Ed and Bleach people: Yay for us

**20 minutes later**

Host Club + Kasonoda and Nekozawa: (Drive up next to Bank) (their car strikingly resembles the one from the Spoungebob Squarepants Movie)

All but Haruhi: (leave car)

Haruhi: Be quick!

Tamaki: (wearing sunshine yellow bikini)

Kyoya: (wearing purple, lacy bikini)

Twins: (Wearing cute, matching green and blue striped bikinis with bows)

Hunny: (wearing cute pink and white bunny bikini)

Mori: (wearing pastel green bikini)

Kasonoda: (wearing hot red bikini)

Nekozawa: (wearing Belzenoff-themed bikini)

All: (run into bank) (go to vaults and get only $10 each) (alarms start to go off) (run back to car)

Tamaki: (gets into front passenger seat) Step on it Haruhi!

Haruhi: (steps on it) (even though she cant drive)

Tamaki: (cranks up volume)

Everyone in car: (singing)  
_I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

Police cars: (begin to chase)

Everyone in car:  
_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

_I'm a blond bimbo girl, in the fantasy world  
Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly  
You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink,  
kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky...  
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"_

_(uu-oooh-u)_

_I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(uu-oooh-u)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(uu-oooh-u)_

_Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please  
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees  
Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again,  
hit the town, fool around, let's go party  
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"  
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(uu-oooh-u)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(uu-oooh-u)_

_I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

_I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(uu-oooh-u)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
(uu-oooh-u)_

_Oh, I'm having so much fun!  
Well Barbie, we're just getting started  
Oh, I love you Ken!_

Everyone else: lol

Hosts, Kasonoda and Nekozawa: (get back)

Kris: You might want to keep a low profile for a bit (turns on TV)

News Reporter: And in other news, eight bikini clad men have robbed a bank. Here is the very footage taken by the banks surveillance camera. All up the volt contained a total of over $5 Million

Renge: CINCO MIL!!

News Reporter: However, the thieves only took a total of $90. It is assumed that there crooks are either brave or exceptionally stupid.

Tamaki: Oh yeah, I got Haruhi $10 as well

Haruhi: Thanks…

Urahara: The next dares are from x-x SilverRain x-x  
_Ichigo (if he's still there): I dare you to get me that smexy Byakuya Kuchiki and let me go out with him everyday for a week. I also dare YOU now to destroy every ByaRuki fanfic you find.  
_  
Ichigo: 'Kay (hooks SilverRain up with Byakuya) (Starts destroying ByaRuki fics)

Urahara: _Clacky: I like you, therefore, I love bothering you, therefore, you shall let me hang out with you for a whole month acting as a proper host and Ohtori son should.  
_  
Kyoya: (busy working on fanfic)

SilverRain: (pounces from behind) Hey-ya Clackster, what's clacking?!

Kyoya: Great. Another crazy person .

Urahara: _And last but definitely not least: Hunny, I dare you to get locked in a huge pastry store... trapped with Gin Ichimaru. I love you, Hunny, but I can't let you get off with out anything bad. T_T FORGIVE ME!  
_  
Hunny: (doesn't mind) (starts eating pastries even though he's not supposed to)

Gin: (has to put up with him)

Urahara: That's all from SilverRain

Kris: Thanks, SilverRain!

SilverRain: Anytime ^.^ (bothers Kyoya more)

Hunny: We have one last darer!

Kris: And who might that be?

Hunny: Its mariqueemy  
_I dare Tamaki to wear a tutu and dance ballet for one whole week...(make the dress pink!)Mwaha!_

Kris: Bahahahahah! Totally ridiculous! And insane! I like it =3

Tamaki: (remembers what happened last time he wore a tutu) Noooooooooooooooooo……

**Five minutes later  
**  
Tamaki: (is in a pretty pink tutu)…ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Haruhi: (laughing ass off)

Razz: Dance!

Twins: DANCE! Dance! Dance!

Tamaki: (starts dancing)

Kris: Awww, aint he pretty? And that sums up out Truth or Dare for now. Thankyou to all who participated!

Razz: Well, it's our turn now. C'mon, Bleach peeps.

Bleach peeps: (leave with Razz)

Kris: If you would like to dare any of the Bleach people, then follow them onto Rachi-kun's profile. Also be sure to submit more of your insane questions and dares here-

Renge: DIEZ MIL!

Kris: -Yeah well hopefully there's not THAT many xD I plan to update a bit more often from now too ;)

Jaki: (gets idea to remove blindfold) "…diez…mil…"

Kris: (makes her put blindfold back on) See ya next time!

Jaki: Bye bye!

**EPROLOGUE – 3 HOURS LATER  
**  
Kris: (walks into room) Whoa… I thought some of those people would never leave…(sees Haruhi and Kyoya in corner) Hey! What are you two still doing here?!

Haruhi: We finished our fanfictions~!

Kris: Oh! Do tell…

Haruhi: We're gonna be posting them on too!

Kris: Oh? And whose account might you be using?

Kyoya: Yours of corse!

Kris: Mine?

Haruhi: Please?

Kris: Fine. Come along my account within the next few days and I'll have both your stories posted for you. I'll email the links to the respective darers as well. Don't expect me to do this too often though. I would let you post them in this chapter right now, but its onto 53 MS word pages as it is, so we'll keep it clean ;)

Kyoya: Very well

Kris: Thankyou to all who read this entire thing. You are very dedicated and you have my praise. See you next time!

Zombie Cat: Mmmmrawwwr!


	7. A New Year Brings New Beginings

**CHARLIECHICK NOTE: Hey all. New rules for posting dares: No more than 5 dares per review per chapter. This makes the chapter shorter, faster to write and easier to read, so it's better on everyone. Thankyou ;)**

_**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, okay ;)**_

**HOST CLUB TRUTH OR DARE**

**SEVENTH INSTALMENT – A NEW YEAR BRINGS NEW BEGININGS**

_It was a bright, shining, peaceful day in Tokyo, and the Host Club were enjoying an uneventful day out. They hadn't been bothered by anyone over some stupid truth or dare game at all for a long time, and they were enjoying every moment of it. That was until a certain Hitachiin brother voiced a very startling rumour…_

**Hikaru:** Kaoru and I heard from someone the other day that that Kris chick was back in town…

**Haruhi:** Have you seen her?

**Kaoru:** No, it was only a rumour

**Hikaru:** But was have some facts too…

**Host Club:** _(all gather in to listen)_

**Kaoru:** The facts are that her and her friends have finished their exams, as well as the 10th grade and are on their summer holidays. Also, Kris has finished her Christmas Bleach fic _(gestures on his stalker laptop to Kris' fanfic account)_

**Kyoya:** So?

**Tamaki:** _(reads final note on Christmas story) _She says she's going to work on a few of her other stories over the next few days…

**Hunny:** But she has a lot of other stories to work on as well. And it's been such a long time since she's done Truth or Dare, maybe she's forgotten about it.

**Mori:** I hope you're right, Mitsukuni. Wait…what's that?"

**All:** _(discreetly look over to where Mori is looking)_

**Hikaru:** Shit! It's her!

**Kyoya:** Everyone, get your head down and make yourself scarce. Maybe she won't notice.

**All:** _(do just that)_

**Kris:** _(walks over, grinning annoyingly) _Hey all, long tome no see!

**All:** _(mentally curse)_

**Tamaki:** Well, hi I guess. Uhh…how was your Christmas? _(trying to keep topic off Truth or Dare)_

**Kris:** Good, you?

**Tamaki:** It was great!

**Kris:** Well that's good. You know what I realised the other day?

**Hunny:** What?

**Kris:** That this year, we have only had three Truth or Dare sessions.

**Haruhi: **And?

**Kris:** Well that's kind of sad. So I thought that in the last day of the year we could bring it up to four.

**Kyoya:** That's a terrible idea!

**Kris:** Nah. Get 'em, you two.

**Razz and Jaki:** _(appear in a giant submarine) (abduct everyone)_

_There is darkness, as there are conveniently no lights in the submarine. Kris is too much of a cheepo to get them installed._

**Twins:** _(get lights from somewhere)_

The lights reveal that we are in the usual Truth or Dare quarters. Wherever that may be…

**Kyoya:** Hey, weren't we just in a submarine? How did we get here?

**Charliechick:** I am the author, therefore I have space telepathy powers and can write us anywhere.

**Haruhi:** Yeah…lets get on with the truth or dare then.

**Kris:** Righto then Haruhi, you read the first dares

**Haruhi:** These are from Princess-Christina-Ark _Bwuhahahahaha! That was hilarious! Oh, and I remembered...more Ouran characters to give dares too! Also, I had a certain two tailed fox create a camera that can follow everyone on their dares! I shall start!_

**Kris:** Yay! Camera! Blackmail!

**Host Club:** _(sweat drop)_

**Razz:** Remember last chapter though, someone dared you to go along with one of the dares in this chapter?

**Kris:** Hee-he…^.^

**Haruhi:** _Tamaki: Challenge the Numa Numa guy to a Numa Dance face off on a random TV show!_

**Tamaki:** Hmmm…sure…how bad can it be?

**Kris:** But no one can Numa-dance like the Numa guy!

**Tamaki:** Well lets just see about that…_(disappears)_

**Razz:** _(turns on TV)_ He should be on soon…

**TV screen: **_(displays morning talk show)_

**Numa Numa Guy:** _(grooving away in his Numa style)_

**Tamaki:** _(attempting to groove away also, but failing)_

**Everyone:** O.O

**Hikaru:** Maybe the situation wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't still wearing the ballet tutu from last instalment…

**Everyone else:** O.O _(nod) _O.O

**Tamaki:** _(is easily upstaged) (comes back and reverts to his emo corner)_

**Haruhi:** Next dare! _Kyoya: Whenever someone mentions a character has to sing ANOTHER annoying song which wastes time and bores me, the character must pay you five hundred thousand yen._

**Kyoya:** No problem here ^-^

**Haruhi:** _Haruhi: Start a cooking class of how to make "Commoner Food" so that the idiots will stop bothering you to make them food and no longer have an excuse to go to your home. _Good idea! Why didn't I think of this?!

**Tamaki:** _(from emo corner)_ But I like seeing you in an apron!

**Haruhi:** _(glare) _Okay! I will now teach you how to add hot water to Ramen!

**Hosts:** Yay!

**----15 Minutes Later----**

**Haruhi:** _(sweat drop)_ I can't believe they burnt the water…talk about hopeless…Any case, heres the next dare! _Hikaru: Grab a random anime/manga character, go all the way to the US, find the Teletubbies writers, and frame them for a prank so they can go to jail and no longer write the dumb show's script!_

**Hikaru:** Hmmm…sounds fun. But who to choose?

**Charliechick:** I have a summoning base right here, compiled with practically every Anime/Manga character there is

**Hikaru:** Really?

**Kris:** Yeah, how do you think we get those other Anime peeps in here? How do you think I got you guys?

**Hikaru:** Hmmm…but who should I choose?

**Kris:** She said to choose a random one

**Hikaru:** Right! _(clicks 'Random' button) (reads from screen)_ Ryoga Hibiki – Ranma ½. Okay.

**Kris:** Hey just wondering, do you happen to know your way from here to America?

**Hikaru:** Not really…But this Ryoga looks as though he would know what he's doing. Why do you ask?

**Kris:** Oh, uh…just wondering…

**Ryoga:** _(appears) _Wha? Where am I this time? O.O

**Hikaru:** _(explains plan to Ryoga)_

**Ryoga:** Alright then! I'll accompany you! Lets leave.…What way is the door? _(follows after Hikaru)_

**Haruhi:** _Kaoru: While Hikaru is gone, sneak into American Idol's backstage to discover the "truth" while disguised as...I don't know, pick a male idol you hate._

**Kaoru:** But I don't know any of the Male idols! I only know that Simon guy…

**Razz:** Go as him then

**Kaoru:** 'Kay _(goes the quick way to America, unlike his brother and Ryoga) (dresses up as Simon and somehow everyone sees past his disguise)_

**Everyone else:** _(watching from TV in T or D room)_

**Kaoru:** _(goes backstage to discover truth, but is pulled off elsewhere to Judge someone)_ Noooooo .

**Kris:** Well, lets see what the other two are doing_…(flicks TV to Hikaru and Ryoga channel)_

**TV screen:** _(displays Ryoga and Hikaru) (they are in Port Arthur in Tasmania)_

**Jaki:** But isn't Port Arthur in opposite direction of America?

**Kris:** _(sigh)_ He did have to choose Ryoga of all people, didn't he?…They're in for a long trip…

**Kasonoda:** Why didn't you tell him?

**Kris:** 'Cause it's funny xD

**Haruhi:** _Hunny: Yes, I am easy on you because you're my fave host! Cute, short, secretly wise and strong, squee! Anyway, here is your dare. If ANYONE tries to go near any sweets, or mention not eating them, shoot them with a bazooka that'll give them a random disease they haven't had before_

**Hunny:** Yay! _(takes bazooka and is ready, being the little sniper he is…)_

**Haruhi:** _Mori: Do the hula dance while wearing a clown nose, top hat, coconut top, ballerina tutu, and dare I say it? STILLETOS! No music please. Just do it._

**Mori: **… _(borrows clown nose from Twins, top hat from Benio, coconut top from Ranka, tutu from Tamaki. I'll leave you to guess whom he borrows the stilettos from.) (puts them on)_

**Everyone:** …o.O

**Razz:** …You look ridiculous.

**Benio:** I can't believe I'm letting a MAN borrow from my clothing!

**Mori:**_ (begins to Hula)_

**Everyone:** …O.O

**Satoshi and Chicka:** _(enter room, thus making their first appearance in this T or D)_

**Satoshi:** Uhh…bro? O.o

**Chicka:** Close your eyes, Satoshi

**Haruhi:** Distraction! Next dare…  
_Ranka: Have everyone sit down while you show home videos of Haruhi as a baby, while Tamaki is locked up in a room of Tamaki haters who will do everything they can to keep him away from Haruhi._

**Ranka:** _(still a man from last instalment) (puts home video into TV) _Gather around everyone!

**Tamaki:** _(runs over from emo corner)_

**Ranka:** _(pushes him out the window)_

**Tamaki:** _(falls into an out door enclosure full of Tamaki haters)_

**Tamaki haters:** You suck!

**Tamaki:** _(walks over to hater)_ Do I charm you in my suckiness?

**Hater 1:** _(slaps) _No way! And you don't charm Haruhi either!

**Hater 2:** She'd rather be with Hikaru

**Hater 1:** Or Kyoya

**Hater 3:** Or Nekozawa

**Hater 4:** Or Kasonoda

**Hater 5:** Or Benio

**Tamaki:** Noooooooooooooooooooooooo~!

**----Meanwhile----**

**Hunny:** Haru-Chan's so cute as a baby!

**Ranka:** I know, isn't my little girl gorgeous?!

**Haruhi:** _…(thinking)_ _Soooo embarrassing…T_T (out loud)_ Here's the next dare!  
_Renge: You must change your personality, by that I mean you must become your exact opposite for the entire chapter!_

**Renge:** _(suddenly becomes a lot like Haruhi) (goes to the corner and studies)_

**Haruhi:** _Nekozawa: I'll go a lil easier on you. Go to youtube and watch There She Is with your zombie cat, all 5 steps._

**Nekozawa and Zombie Cat:** _(start watching the cute little strange animals on Youtube)_

**Zombie Cat:** Rrrrawwwr

**Jaki:** "…rrrawr…"

**Kasonoda:** Hey, where abouts are Hikaru and that guy now? Are they in America yet?

**Kris:** _(checks)_ They're on the moon xD

**Kasonoda:** That's nowhere near America…

**Haruhi:** _Kasonoda: Go to a protest filled with tree huggers...and shout on a megaphone "Yeah! Burn the forests down!"_

**Kasonoda:** But they'll get mad with me .

**Kris:** The darer is always right _(pushes him out the window)_

**Kasonoda:** _(is suddenly in a protest full of tree huggers, with a megaphone in his hands) (gulps and shouts into megaphone)_ "Yeah! Burn forests down!"

**Tree huggers:** _(all stare at him)_

**Tree hugger 1:** Umm…you do know that we're _against_ burning the forests down. Not _for_ it.

**Tree hugger 2:** He's one of those council people!

**Tree hugger 1:** Lets get him!

**Kasonoda:** Aaaagggh! . _(is chased through the forest by the tree huggers. They are even swinging from vines trying to get him)_

**Haruhi:** … _Mei: Turn into Simon and judge the way everyone does their dare until you get a new dare._

**Mei:** …But Simon's a guy

**Kyoya:** So is your dad apparently

**Mei:** Just because he cross dresses, it doesn't mean I want to

**Kyoya:** Haruhi cross dresses

**Mei:** Yeah, but that's Haruhi for you…

**Haruhi:** Hey!

**Mei:** Besides, her dad's a guy now anyway, also do you know what—_(continues arguing for all she can)_

**----Five minutes later----**

**Mei:** _(is dressed as Simon) _=(

**Kaoru:** _(enters room, also dressed as Simon) _I escaped!

**Kris:** Did you discover the truth?

**Kaoru:** Yes! Simon is actually…a woman!

**Jaki:** …Really? _(looks over at Mei)_

**Mei:**_ (glare)_

**Haruhi:** _Arai: You must...appear in the chapter! You shall serve as Kris's servant, she has to pay you, and serve everyone watermelon when you arrive._

**Arai:** _(appears) _Yo ^.^ _(begins serving his famous watermelons)_

**Kris:** So he's my servant now…alright _(pays him $10 an hour, even though she has no money, but hey, she's the writer so anything can happen)_

**Haruhi:** _Zuka Club: Because you hate men, you must throw Arai a welcome party and act all nice and girly to him._

**Zuka Club:** Do we have to?

**Kris:** Resistance is futile.

**Zuka Club** _(sigh) (are suddenly dressed all girly)_

**Benio:**_ (is the girliest of the three) (walks up to Arai) _Hiii. How are you?! Liek…my name is Benibara, but you can call me Benio~!

**Arai:** Ummm…hi ^.^

**Kris:** _(thinking) Someone's falling in love…_ Arai, bring wine!

**Arai:** Why?

**Kris: **…Just do it

**Haruhi:** _Ayanakoji: Act as Éclair's "satellite". (Girl who hangs out with the number one popular girl)_

**Ayanakoji**: _(does so)_

**----Meanwhile----**

**Ryoga: **We're here~!

**Hikaru:** Umm…This is the North Pole…

**Ryoga:** Rats .

Weren't they just on the moon? O.O

**Jaki: **" …Just…moon…"

Back in the T or D room, the dares are continuing…

**Haruhi:** _Mizuro (Mei's dad): That is your name, right? Anyway, have a tranny contest with the hosts' fathers! Ranka will be the judge! (Ch. 72 revealed Honey's and Mori's dads, awesome!)_

**Mizuro:** (climbs in through window)

**Mei:** Not you…T_T

Suddenly all the host's fathers (except Ranka) are dressed in drag. It is a very off-putting sight, so I wont elaborate on it.

**Ranka:** _(to Host Club dads) _Ugh, look at you improffessionals . Just nasty…_(gestures to Mizuro) _Now this is how it's done, men!

**Mizuro:** ^.^

**Host dads:** …no comment…

**Mei:** I give you guys 0 for this dare. I just can't stand anything that has to do with my father and his hobbies…

**Mizuru:** Look Mei! I made you a cute Lolita dress~!

**Mei:** _(runs)_

**Haruhi:** _Entire host club: Jump around in the giant thing kids go in, and everything is covered in green jello...and it's scorching hot outside._

**Haruhi:** Well let's go then…too bad Hikaru isn't here though…

**----Meanwhile----**

**Hikaru and Ryoga: **_(have finally made it to America after Hikaru took the lead) (they enter the Teletubies central office expecting to find the script writers, but open the door only to reveal the Teletubies themselves)_

**Tinky Winky:** Wiiiiiinkeeeeeee…

**Dipsy:** Diiiiiiiipssyyyyyy

**Lala:** Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalaaaaaaaaa

**Po:**

**Teletubies:** _(turn and look at Hikaru and Ryoga with very scary smiles)_

**Hikaru and Ryoga:** o.O……Ru-R-RUN AWAY!!!!! _(run)_

**Teletubies:** _(give chase)_

**----Meanwhile----**

**Host club: **_(jumping on the thing)_

**Razz:** Hey look, there's still a dare from Christina…_ (reads it out)_  
_Everyone else: While the host club is doing that, "change the weather". Renge can provide money and the needed equipment_

**Renge:** _(gets up from study corner) (provides money and equipment needed)_

**Everyone else:** _(changes weather)_

**Host Club:** Ahh, cold . _(run inside)_

**Kris:** Thankyou, Princess Christina Ark. Well our next darer is Miharu365. Can you read these Arai?

**Arai:** _(is with Benio)_ Sure, here we go.  
_OMG CLACKY IS BACK._

**Clacky:** _(roll eyes)_

**Arai:** _Twilight dares are amusing...Bella is dead, right? :D_

**Kris:** Probably not .

**Arai:** _I dare Clacky to destroy her with his mind_

**Clackyoya:** _(does so)_

**Arai:** _Clacky, this is a truth for you: Have you ever considered being a professional clacker?_

**Kyoya:** No, I have not considered being a professional clacker, thankyou very much.

**Kris:** Well you should, you're very good at it

**Kyoya:** _(throws a clackie at Kris)_

**Kris:** Eep!

**Arai:** Thankyou for those, Miharu.

**Kris:** Can you read the next one too, Arai?

**Arai:** Okay. These are from emobunbun  
_have a dare for Haruhi (muahahaha)  
Haruhi: You must give Kyoya a lap dance ^^_

**Haruhi:** Nooo! Not again!

**Jaki:** "…Noooo…"

**Razz:** It was Kyoya who gave you the lap dance last time though.

**Kyoya:** _(is already positioned on a chair awaiting the lap dance)_

**Haruhi:** _(sighs, goes over to Kyoya and does what she needs to do…)_

**Tamaki:** Noo Haruhi!

**Arai:** _KYOYA:(truth)  
What did you really want with Haruhi that night at the beach house when you were on top ? ;)_

**Kyoya:**_ (while receiving lap dance) _Well I do believe I explained something like this a few chapters back

**Kaoru:** Yeah, and we came to the conclusion that Clacky was just having a fine old time

**Kyoya:** I was trying to prove a point!

**Kaoru:** Whatever you say, Clacky. Whatever you say…closet perv

**Kyoya:** _(scowl)_

**Kris:** Thanks for those, emobunbun

**Satoshi:** Oh! I wanna read some!

**Kris:** Go ahead

**Satoshi: **These are from –Aikio-Hatate-  
_I have something to tell Tamaki *waves over Tamaki* I...hate you ^-^ *kicks in the nuts*_

**Tamaki:** _(doubled over)_ Why does everyone hate me today?

**Satoshi:** _1) Mori I, Aikio, dare you to sing Because you live by Jesse McCartney to Haruhi in front of the fan girls in a tuxedo and Haruhi has to wear a pretty dress ^-^ Does matter. And at the end you has to kiss her. *evil aura around her head and evil Kyoya smirk* And if you don't I have my ninja stick to deal with you ^.-_

**Mori:** _(finishes doing Hula and changes into tuxedo)_

**Haruhi:** _(is relieved from Kyoya and changes into party dress)_

**Aikio:** _(pays 500 thousand yen toll to Clacky for song)_

**Mori:** _(starts singing)_  
_Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart  
It's the end of the world in my mind  
Then your voice pulls me back like a wake up call  
I've been looking for the answer  
Somewhere_

**Jaki:** "…somewhere…"_  
I couldn't see that it was right there  
But now I know what I didn't know_

Because you live and breathe  
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help  
Because you live, girl  
My world has twice as many stars in the sky

It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again  
Cuz of you, made it through every storm  
What is life, what's the use if you're killing time  
I'm so glad I found an angel  
Someone  
Who was there when all my hopes fell  
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes

Because you live, I live, I live

**Everyone:** _(applause)_

**Mori:** _(kisses Haruhi passionately)_

**Tamaki:** Don't kiss her! .

**Satoshi:** _Tamaki go die in a hole (SORRY people who are fan girls, but I just don't like him. He's an idiot *scowls*)_

**Tamaki:** Nooooo…_(dies in a hole)_

**Satoshi:** _3) Kyoya into walmart dressed up as a Eskimo and every time an announcement comes on the speakers yell "ITS THE VOICES AGAIN!" before hiding behind the closest object  
_**Kyoya:** What?! That's ridiculous!

**Kris: **Ahahahaha, sucked in xD

**Razz:** Hey Kris, remember how you were dared to join one of the dares in this chapter

**Kris:** …You wouldn't .

**----Half an hour later----**

**Kyoya and Kris:** _(are at Walmart dressed as Eskimos)_

An announcement occurs

**Kyoya and Kris:** IT'S THE VOICES AGAIN!!

**Jaki:** "…voices…again…"

**Kyoya:** _(hides under a rug)_

**Kris:** _(hides behind a vending machine)_

**Bypasses:** o.O

**Kyoya and Kris:** _(continue doing this whenever an announcement is made)_

**Satoshi:** _4) Hikaru..hug?_

**Hikaru:** _(hugs)_

**Satoshi:** _(on phone to Hikaru)_ _That's not the thing though: Hikaru if you, Kaoru, Tamaki, or Hunny couldn't date Haruhi...then who would you want Haruhi to date from the host club (yes including the noobs...) if it meant that she would be happy?_

**Hikaru:** I'm kinda busy to answer that right now . _(still running with Ryoga from the Teletubies)_

**Razz:** _(takes phone)_ Well you gotta

**Hikaru:** I will say Mori to spite Kyoya…

**Satoshi:** _5) Kaoru your muh favourite twin ^-^ You are free of any dares!~ Here is silly string go have fun ^-^_

**Kaoru:** ^.^ _(starts spraying silly string)_

**Arai:** _6) Hunny I want you to burn the closet thing to you *places you on Tamaki's shoulders when he isn't paying attention._

**Tamaki:**_ (has just resurrected from the hole)_

**Hunny:** _(starts to burn him)_

**Tamaki:** Aaarrgh! _(runs around) _Don't burn mee!!

**Satoshi:** _7) Haruhi, your dare is the longest ^-^. I want you to go up to any one of the host club peoples and then begin to talk about their wardrobe in a really girlly voice, ask them lots of questions and if they don't answer the way that you want then go and emo corner, before causing a fuss and then stealing Hunny and running to some place! (you can come to my house, k?) Then Mori will have to find you and then steal back Hunny, but you get angry and then try and eat his arm...please don't actually, poor Mori *tears*. Then go to where ever one is and pretend like that never happened ^-^_

**Haruhi:** That is one long dare…

**Razz:** You'd better get started

**Haruhi:** _(walks over to Chicka) (begins talking in girlly voice) _Lyek omg where did you get your glasses? What about that shirt? Do you shop at those exclusive boutiques? _(continues questioning him) (goes over to Nekozawa)_ Where did you get that robe of yours? Did you dye it yourself? _(continues asking and repeats process with Benio, Arai, Chizuru, Yoshio, Mizuro and Renge) (suddenly gets pissed and goes to Tamaki's Emo corner)_

**----Meanwhile----**

**Kasonoda: **_(escaping from tree-huggers)_

**Hikaru and Ryoga:** _(escaping on a boat from America)_

**Teletubies:** _(getting on a boat and going after them)_

**Kyoya and Kris:** _(still at walmart)_ AAARRGH! IT'S THE VOICES AGAIN! _(run around in circles before hiding underneath a barbeque)_

Back in the T or D room, Haruhi is doing the second part of the dare

**Haruhi:** _(steals Hunny)_

**Hunny:** _(was interrupted from burning Tamaki)_

**Haruhi:** _(runs with him and hides at Aikio's house)_

**Mori:** _(goes looking for them)_

**Satoshi:** Well while they're busy, I guess on to the next dare…  
_8) Another for Clacky. CLACKY I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL *takes out random tooth pick before caning Kyoya* Accept the dare. Or face tooth pick of death. Kris you can choose the challenge, either way i shall win with my toothpick of doom/death ^-^_

**Kyoya and Kris:** _(have just gotten back from walmart) (they are still dressed as Eskimos) (they also bought some lollies while they were there)_

**Kris:** _(gives lollies to Arai) _Well seeing as he's dressed for it, I think you should have a snowball fight!

Random snow starts falling

**Clacky and Aikio:**_ (start snowball fight)_

**Clacky:** _(gets his clacky little butt kicked in no time)_

**Kris:** _(laughs at him)_

**Kaoru:** _(laugh and goes after Clacky with silly string)_

**Aikio:** _(is back at her house peeping through the window) (sees Mori coming) (turns to Haruhi and Hunny) _He's coming!

**Mori:** _(tries to take Hunny back)_

**Hunny:** _(tries to eat Mori's arm)_

**Haruhi and Aikio:** T_T

**Kris:** _(still laughing at Kyoya)_

**Satoshi:** Final dare from Aikio!  
_9) Kris you have to go skinny dipping ^-^_

**Kris:** Ahahahaha-wait, what?

**Satoshi:** _(repeats dare for the seemingly dense admin to hear)_

**Kris:** O.o

**Jaki:** "…O.o…"

**Everyone else:** _(laugh at Kris)_ Sweet vengeance…

**Kris:** Why me?!

**Razz:** Why _not_ you?

**Kasonoda:** _(just escaped from tree-huggers) _"The darer is always right"

**Kris:** . Screw you people…

**----10 minutes later----**

Everyone is gathered at North Beach. Seeing as it's late night, there usually wouldn't be many people there. Usually. You see, tonight is New Year's night and North Beach puts on the biggest display in the whole city.

**Kyoya:** Well I guess it's not daylight, so we wont completely see you. Which is good; we don't want to be blinded.

**Kris:** _(glare)_ Now don't look everyone!

**Kaoru:** Why would we wanna?

**Kris:** _(runs down to shore while people are distracted by early fireworks) (undresses and quickly gets into water before anyone can see)_ Cold! Cold! Cold!

**Jaki:** "…cold…"

**Kris:** _(swims around neck deep so that no one can see anything)_

**Razz:** We should do some dares here now, so we aren't too far from the admin…

**Chicka:** I'll read these next ones then, they're from Chieko Hitachiin.  
_Tamaki: You have to dress up as Shigure Sohma from Furuba and sing the high school girls song._

**Tamaki:** _(dresses as Shigure and begins singing on the beach)_

High school girls~!  
High school girls~!  
All for me  
High school girls~!

**Kaoru:** He sounds like a pedo

**Kasonoda:** I second that…

**Chicka:** _Kyoya: Hm, dress up as Light Yagami with the death note and kill the person you hate the most._

**Kyoya:** Don't mind if I do~! _(pulls out Death Note)_ Hmmm…damit, what's her last name…no…I have a better idea _(runs down to shore and steals Kris' clothes)_

**Kris:** Hey! Get back here, I need those!

**Kyoya:** Hahaha! _(runs away with them)_

**Kris:** That jerk…He's just lucky I don't have as high a god-complex as some people who run these things do. Hey, Arai go get me more clothes!

**Arai:** _(goes)_

**Random Kid:** Hey look mummy! There's a girl going for a swim!

Limited attention is then drawn to Kris, who is luckily mostly submerged in water

**Random person:** Why are you swimming?  
**Kris:** Uhh…I felt like it.

**Random person:** Are you wearing anything?

**Kris:** Why ofcorse I am! What do you think I am? Some kind of streaker?

**Kaoru:** It's not good to lie, Kris.

**Random person:** _(backs away)_

**Kris:** You smell, Kaoru _(begins crouching down in the water)_ And -_glubblebubbleglub-glub- (gets dumped by big dumper wave)_

_Suddenly, the sound of music can be heard from not far off. Then singing starts._

**Hikaru:** I'm on a boat.

**Ryoga:** I'm on a boat

**Hikaru:** Everybody look at me

**Ryoga:** 'Cause I'm sailing on a boat

**Hikaru:** I'm on a boat

**Ryoga:** I'm on a boat

**Hikaru:** Take a good, hard look

**Ryoga:** At the motherf****n boat

It is Hikaru and Ryoga. They are on a boat.

**Hikaru:** Hey look! It's Kris!

**Kris:** Don't look at me (_glubublglub) (goes under water)_

**Chicka:** _Hikaru&Kaoru: Dress up as Bella and Edward Cullen from Twilight and do a romantic scene that deals with a kiss._

**Hikaru:** _(is suddenly dressed as Edward. All he had to do was roll in glitter. And ofcorse pee coloured contacts as someone called them previously)_

**Kaoru:** _(dresses up as Bella. All he does is put on girls clothes, fake hair and look annoying)_

**Hikaru: **_(jumps off boat and swims to shore to Kaoru, where they do a romantic scene and deal a kiss)_

**Random people watching:** o.O

**Chicka:** _Honey: I dare you to eat only veggies for a entire month._

**Hunny:** _(not listening) (kicks Chicka in the shins)_

**Chicka:** WHY YOU!!!! (goes after Hunny)

**Renge:**_ (comes over from her studying to fill in for Chicka)_ _Mori-sempai: Dress up as Hatsuharu Sohma and act as Black Haru._

**Mori:** _(Summons Hatsuharu cosplay and begins acting mean and rude, just like Black Haru)_

**Renge:** _Gomen Haru-chan but I have to do this, can you sing Again by YUI while wearing a purple tube-top, a white mini-jacket, and black jeans with a pair of black boots with your hair in pig-tails._

**Haruhi:** But I suck at singing…

**Razz:** Too bad.

**----10 minutes later----**

**Jaki: **"…minutes…later…"

_Haruhi is done up in the specified clothing and is standing on the beach, about to make her performance. Many random people who are gathered for the new years fire works are also watching._

**Haruhi:** _(begins)_ _Yume no tsuzuki oikaketeita hazu nano ni  
Magarikunetta hosoi michi hito ni tsumazuku_  
**Random people:** o.O What is this?

**Haruhi:** _(continues)_ _Ano koro ni mitai ni tte modoritai wake janai no nakushitekita sora wo sagashiteru_

**Mori:** _(still being Black Haru)_ You suck!

**Haruhi:** Shut up! .

**Mei:** _(judging Haruhi's dare) _Your singing was less than satisfactory

**Tamaki:** _(runs over to Haruhi)_ High School Girls~!

**Haruhi:** _(runs away from Furuba cosplayers)_

**Renge:** _Renge: I dare you to not read, watch, or do anime for a entire year_

**Razz:** Well?

**Renge:** _(is still acting opposite)_ That should be easy enough. Onto our next dare then _Nekozawa: I dare you to try and seduce Bennio with the 'I'm too Sexy song._

**Razz: **He has to strip while singing it too

**Nekozawa:** But-

**Razz:** Don't worry it's night. There is no sun.

**Nekozawa:** _(struts over to Benio and begins) _

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt  
So sexy it hurts

_(he takes off his shirt)_

**Benio:** o.O

**Nekozawa:** _And I'm too sexy for my hat  
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that_

_(takes of cape and hood. He is now completely shirtless and dancing sexily around Benio)_

I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat  
Poor pussy poor pussy cat

_(he discards Belzenoff and Zombie cat)_

**Benio: **O.o

Eventually, Nekozawa is no longer in clothes. Oddly enough, this has worked like a charm on Benio, who has decided his singing and prancing has been more than satisfactory for a future lobelia performance. Who cares if he's a man?

**Haruhi:** Where did Kris go? I can't see her out there…

**Kaoru:** Maybe she drowned…

**----Meanwhile, on the Boat----**

**Kris: **_(wearing a towel) _I hope you weren't looking when I climbed on…

**Ryoga:** Oh don't worry, I shut my eyes. It doesn't really matter. Its not like I haven't seen people like you before.

**Kris:** Uh-huh_…( secures towel tighter)_ By the way, you do know the shore is _that_ way…

**Ryoga:** Wha?

**Kris:** Where all the sand and people are _(points)_

**Ryoga:** Oh, right _(steps on the boat accelerator)_

**Kris:** YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!

**----Back on Shore----**

**Renge: **Our final dare from Chieko Hitachiin is as follows: _Ranka: Turn into your male self and try to act as a male for a whole entire month._

**Ranka:** _(is already in man-type)_

**Razz:** Well those are all done for now. Next is from KitKatty!

**Jaki:** I can read?

**Razz:** Sure

**Jaki:** _Now, Tamaki, I find you very intriguing with how you're good at everything. So do this. Buy a big pack of tictac's (aka: commoner's candy) and put them all in your mouth. Then use them as pellets to shot at people, which are basically the twins, because they now have costumes with targets on them. I know you'll love that. And don't think I'll let Hikaru and Kaoru down! You two can be armed with Haruhi as your shield. Have fun!_

**Tamaki:** Why ofcorse! _(pelts at target wearing twins)_

**Twins:**_ (grab Haruhi)_

**Tamaki:** _(pelt)_ Don't you dare manhandle my daughter! _(pelt)_

**Haruhi:** _(is pelted)_ SENPAI!

**Tamaki:** _(pelt) _Don't worry Haruhi! _(pelt) _I'll save you! _(pelt)_

**Haruhi:** _(continues to be pelted)_

**Chizuru:** Well…thankyou to Chieko Hitachiin and Kitkatty for those. I'll read these next ones from Inu099

_1. I dare Tamaki to wear the prayer beads Inuyasha wear and allow Haruhi to "sit" him as many times as she wants._

**Tamaki:** _(still pelting) (suddenly has the prayer bead collar)_ Huh? (pelt)

**Haruhi:**_ (still being pelted)_ This is just what I need! SIT!

**Tamaki:** _(Is pulled to the ground by the beads. He can no longer pelt)_

**Haruhi:** Yey!

**Chizuru:** _2. I dare Haruhi to sing the high note that Christine sings from Phantom Of the opera and hold it for at least 20 minutes (if you've seen phantom of the opera, you know what I'm talking about, if you haven't try youtube x3)_

**Haruhi:** Ow…Okay then… _(highnotehighnotehighnote)_

Suddenly, the boat comes ashore. Kris and Ryoga jump out.

**Haruhi: **_(highnotehighnotehighnote)_

**Ryoga: **Run away!!

**----Half an Hour Later----**

All T or D participants are up in a very high tree house. Surrounding the tree house are dozens of rabid teletubies trying to climb up.

**Kris:** Ryoga. Hikaru. Explain.

**Hikaru: **Well…The trip to the Teletubies studio went slightly different than planned…

**Razz: **How come there's so many? I thought there were only four…

**Teletubies:** Raaaaaaaawrawr

**Mori:** I'm scared.

**Haruhi:** _(has lost her voice)_

**Kris:** _(glares at Kyoya) _And you smell! What did you do with my clothes?

**Kyoya: **_(shrugs)_

**Kaoru: **He probably added them to his tranny draw, with his clackies

**Kyoya:** _(pours coffee on Kaoru)_

**Kaoru:** HOTHOTHOT!!!

**Kris:** And Arai, why did you have to get me such daggy new clothes?

**Arai:** Uhh…

**Hunny:** Be happy you have clothes! Neko-chan left his at the beach and has to were a paper bag!

**Nekozawa:** _(shifts embarrassedly)_

**Kris:** Alrighty then…_(forgets she's wearing a gay 80s gym suit)_ And what about you two? _(points at twins) _what are you supposed to be? Target logo cosplays?

**Twins:** _(shrug)_

**Kris:** _(mumble)_

**Tamaki: **Should we continue?

**Jaki:** _(nods)_

**Chizuru:** _3: I think poor Kyoya has had enough dares so I'll spare him, but for the rest of you *smirks* Tamaki, Haruhi, Hikaru, Kaoru, Honey, Mori...I dare you 6 to wear bikini's and run around Ouran advertising Victoria secret x3_

**Hosts minus Kyoya:** Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!

**Everyone else:** lol

**Kyoya:** Perfect blackmail…

**The six hosts:** _(get into the bikinis from last instalment (Haruhi is wearing Kyoya's) (Go into Ouran)_

**People at Ouran:** o.O OMG…

**Hosts: **Victoria Street! Yeahy!

Sometime later, the hosts are back in the tree house and highly disturbed.

**Chizuru:** _and 4. I dare the twins to glue Tamaki to a wall and the rest is up to them (sorry Tamaki...I'll give you a hug if you want ^^;)_

**Tamaki:** What? I don't wanna get stuck!!

**Razz:** If you hug her, you wont have to do it!

**Tamaki:** Really? _(hugs Inu, who just spawned from nowhere)_

**Razz:** Kidding!

**Tamaki:** Damn! You wont catch me! Aha!

**Jaki:** "…aha…"

**Tamaki:** _(is instantly caught by Mori and the Target Twins)_

**Mori:** _(wanted to join in) (helps twins glue Tamaki to wall)_

**Everyone:** _(Point and laugh at the walled Tamaki)_

Silence

**Arai:** Now what?

**Hikaru:** I don't know what we should do to him… _(thinks)_

**Kaoru:** We should get back to it later

**Hikaru:** Right. Next dare!

**Éclair:** This is a question from Haruka Oujo - _Tamaki what were you thinking while u were on top of Haruhi? In the ep where u visited her house?_

**Tamaki:** _(stuck to the wall)_ Uhh…Nothing really

**Haruhi:**_ (sarcastically)_ Well that's new

**Tamaki:** Was I supposed to be thinking something?

**Kris:** _(facepalm)_

**Éclair:** _i dare Kyoya to sing the happy birthday song from weird al (i think..) wearing the limited edition pink clackies MWAHAHAHAHA!_

**Kyoya:** Oh Gods no, and I've lasted the entire chapter so far without those damn things…

**Kaoru:** Hehehe…

**Jaki:** "…hehehe…"

**Kyoya:** Ah, crap…

**Twins:** _(force Kyoya into pink clackies)_

**Kyoya:** _(sighs and starts singing)_

_Happy birthday  
Happy birthday to you  
Happy birthday  
Happy birthday to you  
Well, it's time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year  
We'll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer  
You should be good and happy that there's something you can eat  
A million people every day are starving in the street  
Your daddy's in the gutter with the wretched and the poor  
Your mama's in the kitchen with a can of Cycle Four  
There's garbage in the water  
There's poison in the sky  
I guess it won't be long before we're all gonna die  
Happy birthday  
Happy birthday to you  
Happy birthday  
Happy birthday to you_

**Everyone: **_(applaud)_

**Chicka:** Whose birthday is it anyway?

**Satoshi:** _(shrug)_ Who cares? _(snaps photos of Clackyoya in the pink clackies)_

**Kyoya:** You did not! _(chases Satoshi)_

**Satoshi:** Eeep! _(runs)_

**Mori:** _(steps between Kyoya and Satoshi and goes into protective big brother mode)_ Oh no you don't…

**Kyoya:** Eeep!

**Mori:** _(is tired)_

**Kris:** Well thankyou to Inu099 and Haruka Oujo for those last dares. Next up is Amaya-Hayashi. Ranka can read them.

**Ranka:** _K, heres you're dare , Kyoya you're Kris servant AGAIN ! MUAHAHA . XD lol._

**Kyoya:** I hate you all!

**Kris:** I _would_ say 'aww, poor Kyoya', but that incident at the beach has robbed me of all sympathy for you.

**Kyoya:** Like I would need something as feeble as your sympathy to begin with…

**Kris:** Shush. I now have you and Arai under my command. The difference is that Arai is paid and you are not. Now go and get me and everyone a sundae. Please.

**Kyoya:** Bitch. _(Goes to get sundae)_

**Ranka:** _2. Haruhi you can cosplay as Maka from soul eater *wink wink* I think everybody knows why I picked her as Maka Hehee.. Hint : Stare at her chest for a while , :D The twins, One of you have to be Soul START ARUGING ! XD And if none of you chose before the 10 second are up Kris pick one of them . Oh wait I'm not done ! XD When they're all dressed up as them walk around Haruhi you shouting " I HAVE A FLAT CHEST ! " And one of the twins yelling " I LOVE MAKA ! " Hehe ._

**Haruhi: **_(gets into Maka cosplay)_

**Twins:** _(argue about whose gonna be soul)_

**Kris:** Hikaru can be.

**Kaoru:** _(sprays Kris with silly string)_

**Kris:** Hey! I resent that! _(pulls stuff out of hair) _

**Kaoru: **Hehehe

**Kyoya:** _(walks in with sundaes) _lol

**Hikaru:**_ (gets into Soul cosplay)_

**Kaoru:** I wanna dress up .

**Kris:** _(gives him giant marshmallow suit)_

**Kaoru:** Yaya!

**Haruhi:** I can't believe I have to do this…I HAVE A FLAT CHEST!!! There, I did it…

**Hikaru:** Lol, yeah you do.

**Haruhi:** _(death glare)_

**Hikaru:** Wow, uh…I mean I LOVE MAKA!!!

**Ranka:** _3 . Kyoya cosplay as Kaname from Vampire knight. AND TAKE OFF YOU GLASSES !( yes you can wear contacts) Flirt with Kaname girl fans ! XD_

**Kyoya:** _(gets into Kaname cosplay and takes off glasses) (he looks very pretty) (flirts with invisible fangirls) (seeing as there are none in the tree house right now)_

**Ranka:** _Kyoya is done flirting with the Fans Him and Tamaki have to MAKE OUT . (P.S make Tamaki spit out very cold water at Kaoru and Kyoya drinking hot chocolate spit out at Hikaru ) ( P.S.S DO NOT LET THE TWINS KNOW THAT ! XD ) Make out FOR AN HOUR (THEY SPIT ALOT AT THE TWINS NOW !! XD )_

**Razz:** What a strange dare o.O

**Kris:** lol

**Tamaki:** _(drinks cold water) (spits it at Kaoru)_

**Kyoya:** _(still dressed as Kaname) (Drinks hot chocolate) (spits it at Hikaru)_

**Twins:** o.O ??

**Haruhi:** Now you have to make out

**Kyoya and Tamaki:** O.O

**Kris:** Trust Haruhi to remember that point…

**Haruhi:** … Uhh… I HAVE A FLAT CHEST!

**Kris:** We've established that…

_Kyoya and Tamaki start making out. The fact that Tamaki is still glued to the wall doesn't make the situation any less suggestive_

**Kris:** o.O Moving right along…

**Ranka:** _5 . When the one of the twins ( whoever the heck is Soul ) They both have to pour chocolate on them and hug everyone AND MAKE THEM STICKY ! And even You . HEHE ! Hmm.. that's it ! :D I hope the twins enjoy hugging people covered in chocolate ! XD_

**Twins:** _(become covered in chocolate—chocolate Soul and chocolate marshmallow) _Hug time! _(proceed to hug everyone in the vicinity, thus stickifying everyone) (including both Tamaki and Kyoya who are…occupied)_

**Everyone:** _(is now sticky)_ T.T

Suddenly, a noise is heard from down below the tree house

**Hunny:**_ (being hugged by Hikaru) _What is that?

**Benio:** _(looks out side)_ Oh no, it's the Teletubies again! What are they doing?

**Teletubies:** Rmarrrrrawr! _(they begin using their antennae to transmit some weird program into the tree house's television_)

**Kyoya:** _(looking at TV)_ What is this?

**Jaki:** _(reads TV screen)_ "…In…night…garden…"

**Everyone:** What? O.o

**Kris:** Crap! That's a show by the makers of the teletubies!

**Mori:** That can't be good…

**Chicka:** We have to escape.

**Ranka:** Everyone! On the roof, now!

Everyone stumbles up to the roof. Except…

**Tamaki:** _(is left glued to the wall) _They left me! Oh well, this childish program is nothing I can't handle.

**Hunny:** _(up on roof with everyone else)_ Shouldn't someone go to help Tama-chan?

**Twins:** Nahh, he'll live…

**Tamaki:**_ (tormented voice from down in the tree house)_ Noooooo! My brain cells! My beauuuuutiful brain cells!!!!

**Kyoya:** Or not…

**Kris:** Well thankyou for those, Amaya-Hayashi. Kaoru, if you would read the next ones.

**Kaoru:** _(just stickifyed Kasonoda)_ Right, these are from Fool's Ivory Wings… _1. Tamaki, you have to go on a date with Benio from the Zuka club, while wearing a chicken suit._

**Tamaki:** BRAIN! CELLS! GONE!

**Kris:**_ (gives Benio chicken suit) _Do it. It would be good for him.

**Chizuru:** You seem to be getting a lot of action with the men this chapter, Benibara-sama

**Benio:** Shut up _(goes down into the tree house and puts Tamaki into the chicken suit)_

**Tamaki:**_ (complies because all his brain cells are gone)_

**Kaoru:** While they're doing that, here's the next dare: _2. Kyoya, did you have fun being Hannah Montana? Now, you need to put a potato sack over your head, hide behind a trash can, then wait until someone comes by, and attack them while yelling "BINGO!"_

**Kris:** lol

**Kyoya:** Grrrr…fine _(puts potato sack over head and hides somewhere, waiting to pounce…)_

**Kaoru:** _3. Hunny, you have to go and spend an entire hour at hot topic with Marilyn Manson. And you can't bring Usa chan. Or any sweets._

**Hunny:** _(is at Hot Topic with Marilyn Manson) _Hi…

**Marilyn Manson:** …Hi

**Both:**…

**Hunny:** I wants Usa-Chan!

**Manson:** Wtf?

**Hunny:** Do you like cakes?

**----Back on the roof of the tree house…----**

**Razz:** How is Tamaki and Benio's date going?

**Hikaru:** _(watching his stalker laptop, where he can see Benio watching Tamaki in his chicken suit, who is being chased by a butcher who thinks he's the real thing)_ Smoothly.

**Kris:** And Kyoya?  
**Hikaru:** _(brings up another screen, in which Kyoya is boredly waiting for a passer-by)_ Nothing really.

**Kaoru:** Hey, here's one for me! _4. Kaoru, I hope you bonded with Eddy's fangirls. Now, you have to ask Tamaki's Grandmother to Marry you. And if she refuses, you have to follow her around saying "BUT WE WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER!"_

**Hikaru:** You're gonna do it?

**Kaoru:** Hahaha, yup. This will be funneh xD

**Everyone:** _(watches a screen on Hikaru's stalker laptop, which is following what Kaoru is doing)_

**Kaoru:** _(approaches Tamaki's grandmother) (gets down on one knee) _Ms Saou, would you do the honour of marrying me _(snicker)_

_However, Kaoru's little joke is short lived, when he gets an entirely different reaction from what he was expecting_

**Tamaki's granny:** Well young Hitachiin, truth be told, I've been quite lonely since my husband died.

**Kaoru:** Uhhhh…

**Tamaki's granny:** And I have actually been looking for a new life partner recently. It must be fate that you happened across me. You may be slightly young, but I respond to your inquiry with an affirmative.

**Kaoru:** WHAT?!

**Tamaki's granny:** In short, that means 'yes'.

**Kaoru:** Arrrrggghhh!!! _(runs)_

**Tamaki's granny:** _(chases)_ What are you doing? You don't just propose and run, you young scoundrel!

**Kaoru:**_ (running and running and running)_

**Tamaki's granny:** We were made for each other!

**Kaoru:** Nooooo! _(runs out of mansion's gate)_

**Tamaki's granny: **_(stops at gate)_ Ah, I understand. You're just so excited that I accepted your offer, and need to make some preparations for the wedding. Speaking of which, I should go and make preparations too…_(goes back inside) _What a great new beginning!

**Everyone who are watching on the laptop:** o.O

**Kaoru:** _(arrives back, panting)_ Hikaru…

**Hikaru:** _(runs over to console his twin) _It's okay, Kaoru…That must have been scary…

**Kaoru:** She wanted me!

**Kris:** _5. Hikaru, once again, you aren't allowed to help your brother. You have to go to a "commoner" store and buy the ugliest thing you can find and wear it for the rest of the chapter._

**Hikaru:** Fine! I will! _(goes to commoner store and comes back dressed in a gay 80s gym suit)_ Haha! Now I look just like you!

**Kris:** Shut up .

**Kaoru:** _6. Haruhi, you have to be stuck in the musical "Sweeney Todd" (Tim Burton version) for the rest of the chapter._

**Haruhi:** _(suddenly finds herself in _Sweeny Todd_) _o.O

**Kaoru:** _7. Renge, you have to do all of Haruhi's dares while wearing a gorilla suit._

**Renge:** _(also appears in _Sweeny Todd_, only wearing a gorilla suit)_

**Kaoru:** _8. Nekozawa, you have to be stuck in an episode of my little pony for the rest of the chapter._

**Nekozawa:** _(is teleported to My Little Pony world and will be elaborated on later…)_

**Kaoru:** _9. Ranka, you have to tell Tamaki the you like him and approve of him while keeping a straight face._

**Ranka:** But I don't approve of him

**Jaki:** "…Don't…approve…him…"

**Kris:** That's not the point…

**Ranka:** _(rolls eyes)_ Fine then _(walks over to Tamaki, who is still in the chicken suit and places a hand on his shoulder)_ I approve of you _(he is so convincing it's scary)_

**Tamaki:** _(blink)_ Seriously?

**Ranka:** Ofcorse I don't dumbass, you're dressed as a chicken

**Tamaki:** _(emo)_

**Kaoru:** _10. Mori, umm, idk. Just sit in a corner and eat some cheese._

**Mori:** _(does just that) (chewchew)_

**Kaoru:** That's all

**Kris:** Thankyou, Fool's Ivory Wings~!

**Kasonoda:** Next up is Rachi-kun- _okay... I dare...  
- Tamaki to wear a mankini and act like a monkey_

**Tamaki:** _(returns from emo corner, magically dressed in a mankini) (begins acting like a monkey)_

**Ranka:** I now disapprove of you even more

**Tamaki:** _(emo monkey)_

**Kasonoda:** _- Kyoya to run around in a fairy suit telling everyone that he "has to go pee pee"_

**Kyoya:** _(glares at Razz) _I hate you too.

**Razz: **What did I do? O.o

**Kyoya: **_(glares) (gets dressed as a fairy) (runs over to Mori) _I have to go pee pee!

**Mori: **… _(chew)_

**Kyoya: **_(says he has to go pee pee to the following: Ranka, Jaki, Kaoru, Hunny, Benio, Arai, Razz, Kris, His reflection, a turtle, Éclair and Tamaki's grandmother)_

**Kris:** Thanks for those, Razz. Get back to where you were before, Clacky.

**Kyoya:** _(goes back to hiding behind a trash can with potato sack over his head)_

**Tamaki:** This is from iEaTNekkozzz - _Here's another one, for the guy I love bothering the most... Kyoya! I dare you to cosplay as a Quincy, find the real Uryu Ishida (who is also wearing his Quincy attire), and French kiss him for... hmm... 2 hours sounds good. You can stop every other two seconds to breathe. Uryu is also equipped with a baseball bat, so you must continue kissing him while he beats you to death. Have fun and thanks for the laughs!_

**Everyone: **…

**Kris: **lol

**----Meanwhile---**

**Real Uryu Ishida: **_(walking down street, innocently minding own business) _Dumdedumdedum…_(walks past trash can)_

**Kyoya:** _(jumps out from behind trash can, with the potato sack over his head) (begins attacking Ishida) _BINGO! BINGO! BINGO!

**Ishida: **Wtf? Who are you? Show your face! _(pulls off potato sack and is startled by the sight before him) _Another…me? Is this some sort of prank?

**Kyoya: **_(starts…uhhh…kissing his…copy)_

**Ishida: **Mmmph!? Whmfph duumpfh!!!!??? _(is trapped)_

**Orihime: **_(innocently walking past) (sees them) _O.O! _(runs off to the school)_

**Ishida: **_(thinking) Crap! If she lets the others know, they'll never let me hear the end of it! (pulls out baseball bat) (starts whacking Kyoya) _

**Kyoya: **MMpfh! Ooofh!

**----Up in the Tree House----**

**Kris:** Poor guy…Ishida I mean…Thankyou to iEaTNekkozzz

**Mori:** The next darer is Selestyna Arpa364 - _1) I dare Belzenoff to superglue himself onto Tamaki!_

**Belzenoff:**_(does so)_

**Tamaki: **Eeep! It's on me! _(flails, trying to get it off)_

**Zombie cat: **Raaaawwwr _(joins Belzenoff)_

**Tamaki: **Arrrrrgggghhh!

**Mori: **_2) I dare Éclair to be crushed beneath a billboard sign that says "Tamaki Loves Haruhi"_

**Kris: **One problem…

**Ranka: **What?

**Kris: **Éclair is up on the tree house with us…

_Suddenly, a giant billboard reading "Tamaki Loves Haruhi" descends from the Heavens. It effectively crushed Éclair, bringing the tree house down—along with everyone else on it—to the waiting teletubies)_

**Ryoga: **Run away!

**Everyone: **_(runs)_

_An hour later, the Teletubies have grown bored and gone back home. We are now back in the usual T or D residency._

**Mori:**_ 3) I dare Kyoya to dress up and sing "Poor Unfortunate Souls" to Haruhi_

**Kyoya: **_(walks in the door, breathing heavily and still being beat up by Ishida) _Bitch say wha?

**Kris: **Just do it.

**Haruhi: **_(returns from _Sweeny Todd _world, along with the gorilla-clad Renge)_

**Ishida: **_(momentarily stops bashing Kyoya so he can have his time)_

**Kyoya: **_(dresses up in clackies and drag and begins singing to Haruhi)  
__I admit that in the past I've been a nasty  
They weren't kidding when they called me kinda strange  
But you'll find that nowadays, I've mended all my ways  
Repented, seen the light and made a change  
And I fortunately know a little secret  
It's a talent that I always have possessed  
Dear lady, please don't laugh, I use it on behalf  
Of the miserable, the lonely and depressed, pathetic!  
Poor unfortunate souls  
In pain, in need  
This one longing to be thinner  
This one wants to get the girl  
And do I help them? Yes, indeed!_

_(continues singing)_

**Haruhi: **Ummm…o.O

**Mori: **_4) Haruhi, you may now unleash all of your pent up fury towards Kyoya and give him a piece of your mind. Oh, and he will not be allowed to do a thing about it!_

**Haruhi: **_(smiles) _Gladly…_(begins abusing Kyoya) _Grrrrr! You suck! You suck! You suck! I cannot stress your suckiness enough! Grrr! Give me that! _(grabs baseball bat from Ishida) (bashes Kyoya)_

**Ishida: **_(summons another baseball bat and also abused Kyoya for kiss raping him)_

**Renge: **_(is also abusing Kyoya in her gorilla suit)_

**Kyoya: **_(dies)_

**Kris: **Haha—I mean aww, poor Kyoya…

**Kyoya: **_(comes back from dead and throws clackies at Kris)_

**Kris: **Eeep!

**Mori: **_5) I dare Kyoya and Tamaki to sing the "If You Were Gay" song from Avenue Q, Kyoya will be Rod and Tamaki will be Nikki_

**Kyoya: **Why am I consistently Humiliated? .

**Tamaki: **Hehe, because it's funny~!

**Kyoya: **_(glare)_

_Music starts_

**Kyoya:** Aah, an afternoon alone with my favorite book, "Broadway Musicals of the 1940s." No roommate to bother me. How could it get any better than this?  
**Tamaki:** Oh,hi Kyoya!  
**Kyoya: **Hi Tamaki.  
**Tamaki:** Hey Kyoya, you'll never guess what happened to me on the subway this morning. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me.  
**Kyoya:** That's very interesting.  
**Tamaki:** He was being real friendly, and I think he was coming on to me. I think he might've thought I was gay!  
**Kyoya:** Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today?  
**Tamaki:** Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it, Kyoya...  
**Kyoya:** I'm NOT getting defensive! What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to read.  
**Tamaki:** Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Kyoya. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.  
**Kyoya:**  
I don't want to talk about it, Tamaki! This conversation is over!!!  
**Tamaki:** Yeah, but...  
**Kyoya:** OVER!!!  
**Tamaki:** Well, okay, but just so you know —  
_IF YOU WERE GAY  
THAT'D BE OKAY.  
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,  
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.  
BECAUSE YOU SEE,  
IF IT WERE ME,  
I WOULD FEEL FREE  
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)_  
**Kyoya:**  
Tamaki, please! I am trying to read.... What?!  
**Tamaki:** _IF YOU WERE QUEER~~~  
_**Kyoya:** Ah, Tamaki!  
**Tamaki:** _I'D STILL BE HERE,_  
**Kyoya:** Tamaki, I'm trying to read this book.  
**Tamaki:** _YEAR AFTER YEAR  
_**Kyoya:** Tamaki!  
**Tamaki:** _BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR TO ME,  
_**Kyoya:** Argh!  
**Tamaki:** _AND I KNOW THAT YOU_  
**Kyoya:** What?

**Tamaki:** _WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,_  
**Kyoya:** I would?  
**Tamaki:**_IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,  
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,  
I'M GAY!"  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)  
I'M HAPPY  
JUST BEING WITH YOU._  
**Kyoya:** High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...  
**Tamaki:** _SO WHAT SHOULD IT  
MATTER TO ME  
WHAT YOU DO IN BED  
WITH GUYS?  
_**Kyoya:** _Tamaki, that's GROSS!_  
**Tamaki:** No it's not!  
_IF YOU WERE GAY  
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!  
_**Kyoya:** I am not listening!  
**Tamaki:** _AND HERE I'D STAY,_  
**Kyoya:** La la la la la!  
**Tamaki:** _BUT I WOULDN'T GET  
IN YOUR WAY._  
**Kyoya:** Aaaah!  
**Tamaki:** _YOU CAN COUNT ON ME  
TO ALWAYS BE  
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,  
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,  
YOU WERE JUST BORN  
THAT WAY,  
AND, AS THEY SAY,  
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,  
YOU'RE GAY!_

**Jaki: **"…You're…gay…"_  
_**Kyoya:** _BUT I'M NOT GAY!_  
**Tamaki:** If you were gay.  
**Kyoya:** Argh!

**Everyone else: **_(applaud)_

**Kris: **_(wipes away tear) _That was amazing! And so realistic!

**Tamaki: **If you were gay~~~

**Kyoya: **You can stop now.

**Mori: **_6) I dare the twins to annoy the heck out of Inuyasha, and then blow something up._

**Inuyasha: **_(innocently walks past)_

**Twins: **_(glomp Inuyasha from behind) _Ears! Ears! Ears!

**Inuyasha: **WTF? Getoff!!!

**Kaoru: **_(sprays silly string in Inuyasha's hair)_

**Inuyasha: **_(pissed off)_

**Twins: **Hehehe! _(run away) (blow up new years eve fireworks)_

**Spectators: **_(watching fireworks) _Preeeeeetyyyyyy~~.

**Mori: **_7) GO HUNNY! Because you were so awesome at brawling, I dare you to become a character like Zelda, meaning you could be playable as Hunny, or as Usa-chan. Then, I want you to brawl against my brother, Apocalypse6, if you win, you get cake, if you lose, you have to watch him eat cake._

**Hunny: **_(returns from Hot Topic, becomes playable and goes up against Apocalypse666)_

**Mori: **_8) Renge...(evil grin) now...EAT THE BOWLS OF RICE FROM LAST CHAPTER! And heres another 600 bowls for you to count...IN GERMAN!_

**Renge: **_(still in gorilla suit) _Noooooo!

**Kris: **You gotta do it

**Renge: **_(grumbles and starts eating and counting) (in German) _EINS! ZWEI! DREI!…

**Mori: **_9) Ranka, since you are now a man, and the librarians don't recognise you, I dare you to cover the library in JELL-O and bounce around._

**Ranka: **Alright then!

_Razz and Jaki help him cover the library in JELL-O, before he starts bouncing around._

**Ranka: **_(is sent out shamefully) (he is now no longer permitted in the library in his male OR female forms)_

**Mori: **_10) Tamaki, if anyone tries to talk to you, you must tell them "CANT TOUCH THIS" and break into dance. _

**Tamaki: **Alright then!

**Twins: **_(go to poke him)_

**Tamaki: **CAN'T TOUCH THIS! _(begins dancing robotically)_

**Everyone else: **o.O

**Mori: **_11) Kasonoda, you must appoint Alvin the chipmunk to be your second in command in the mafia group, then, introduce him to your buddies._

**Kasonoda: **What?!

**Twins: **_(snicker)_

**Alvin the Chipmunk: **_(pops up next to Kasonoda) _Hey yo.

**Kasonoda: **_(thinking) Its…so cute. I think I'm in love… (appoints Alvin as second in command)_

**Kasanoda's buddies: **Whose this? O.O

**Kasonoda: **New homie. Be extra nice to him

**Kasonoda's buddies: **o.O…_(back away slowly)_

**Mori: **_12) (Blush) Hi Mori. I would dare you to kiss Principessa Dell'Opera, but she's taken...so I dare you to yodel until theres an avalanche._

**Razz: **Because that's totally similar…

**Mori: **_(stands and begins yodelling)_

**Hunny: **_13) Nekozawa, while the avalanche is falling, you must immitate chicken little and shout "the sky is falling" in a chicken suit._

**----Meanwhile, in My Little Pony Land…----**

**Nekozawa: **_(backed up against a wall as a heard of 'My Little Ponies' advance on him) (speaking very nervously) _Now now, I haven't heard anything about this 'Magical Crystal of Happiness' you're all going on about. Honest! I didn't steal it!

**My Little Ponies: **_(charge!)_

**Nekozawa: **Eeeep!_(is teleported back in the nick of time and into the chicken outfit Tamaki wore on the date) _Huh?

**Kris: **We're in Australia and it's the middle of summer. Theres no chance of it possibly-

_A loud rumbling occurs from up in the mountains, and a torrent of snow comes crashing down on the T or D'ers._

**Nekozawa: **The sky is falling! The sky is falling! By the way, Belzenoff, Zombie cat, whatever are you doing being stuck to Saou like that?

**Kris: **-snowing…

**Kyoya: **Ah great, now what?

**Everyone: **_(is buried in snow)_

**Kris: **Well this is cool.

**Nobody: **_(laughs)_

**Kris: **Gedit?

**Nobody: **_(continues laughing)_

**Hikaru: **Nobody likes your puns.

**Kris: **Ha.

**Kyoya: **This snow is probably from that jumping castle at the start…

**Renge: **DREIUNDFŰNFZIG!

**Jaki: **"…???…"

**Mori:** _14) Hikaru I dare you to dress up as Sherlock Holmes and find Waldo._

**Hikaru: **_(spontaneously dresses up as Mr. Holmes) (begins searching for Waldo) (IN THE SNOW .)_

**Mori: **_15) I dare Kaoru to dress up as Renge and taunt her about how much he hates cosplay. Renge, KEEP EATING AND COUNTING!_

**Kaoru: **_(spontaneously dresses up as Renge) (sifts toward the real Renge in the snow, who is still dressed in the infamous gorilla costume)_

**Renge: **ZWEIHUNDERTEINS! ZWEIHUNDERTZWEI! ZWEIHUNDERTDREI!

**Kaoru:**Like, look at me! I'm Renge and I hate all things otaku!

**Renge: **Grrrrr…

**Kaoru: **I hate anime, I hate manga, I hate video games, I hate- _(voice is drowned out by Renge's obstinate German counting)_

**Mori: **Final dare. _16) Kyoya, I dare you to throw your computer into the ocean. Then please buy me a awesome computer._

**Kyoya: **Grrr! I've had enough of this already! _(breaks out of avalanche mess and runs to North Beach, where he throws his laptop into the water and it is consumed by all the little fishies)_

**Kris: **lol…

**Kyoya: **_(buys Selestyna a mac book air) (walks back over to the large mound of snow that was the avalanche)_

**Kris: **_(still under avalanche with everyone else) _Uhh…Kyoya…Mind giving us a hand?

**Kyoya: **…_(runs away)_

**Kris: **Jerk…thanks anyway to Selestyna Arpa

**Ryoga: **The final lot of dares are from Principessa Dell'Opera. Here we go - _1) Tamaki, I dare you to stop being stupid._

**Everyone: **_(gasp)_

**Hikaru: **Is it actually possible

**Tamaki: **According to Newton's second law, Force = Mass X Acceleration. Therefore if a two kilo pair of clackies came flying at you at a consistent speed of seventeen kilometres pre hour, the force applied would equal thirty-four Newtons. That's given if we assume all variables are reliable and the model is correct. It's all quite elementary, actually…

**Everyone else: **o.O

**Tamaki: **_(dies)_

**Renge: **TAUSEND!

**Ryoga: **_2) Éclair, go to hell. Literally. And stay there, damn it!_

**Éclair: **_(doe so)_

**Ryoga: **_3) Renge, you failed the Piano Proficiency test. I told you that revenge is swift and fleeting. Therefore, I will leave you in suspense for now, until I see fit to end this first part of your misery._

**Renge: **… TAUSEND SECHZING!

_Suddenly, the snow melts all at once, leaving the cast soaking wet and wondering why the whole scenario was written in the first place, and how stupid Charliechick's mind is for burying them._

**Kaoru: **_(sees Clacky, who is not far off) _You missed out on Tamaki being smart!

**Kyoya: **_(shrugs)_

**Ryoga: **_4) Casting for this summer's comic operetta "Orpheus in the Underworld" are now open. Any and all characters who want (there is no want about it. You all must audition) to audition must submit an application, resume, and repertoire._

**Kris: **Hahaha. You're kidding, right?

**Mei: **Don't worry. With your degree of 'talent' I doubt any of you will be successful…

**Kris: **You're so right…

**Everyone: **_(gets auditions and crap over and done with)_

**Jaki: **"…audition…over…"

**Razz: **What's next?

**Ryoga: **Uhh… _5) The cast list has been decided as follows:  
• Orpheus- Tamaki  
• Public Opinion- Hunny  
• Aristeus/Pluto (Hades)- Kyoya  
• Euridice- Mei  
• Jupiter (Zeus)- Yuzuru  
• Juno (Hera)- Haruhi  
• Diana (Artemis)- Hikaru  
• Apollo- Kaoru  
• Venus (Aphrodite)- Kasanoda  
• Cupid (Eros)- Usa-chan  
• Minerva (Athena)- Kris  
• Mars (Ares)- Belzaneff  
• Vulcan (Hephaestus)- Jaki  
• Mercury (Hermes)- me  
• Bacchus (Dionysus)- Nekozawa  
• John Styx- Mori_

**Razz: **_(facepalm) _Judging by the majority of the cast, this is going to be on crappy production. Hehehe I don't have to do it…

**Kris: **You betch

**Kasonoda: **Why am I a girl???!

**Alvin: **Teehee…

**Kasonoda: **. Shut up, uke

**Hikaru: **I'm a girl too o.O So is Hunny, but that's no real surprise…

**Benio: **And why aren't I in any of this?

**Ryoga: **_Lobelia girls, you all suck at the performing arts (really), so you are stuck backstage with the fog machine, and haystacks._

**Hinako: **What?! This is an abomination!

**Kris: **The darer is always right

**Lobelia Girls: **Screw you…

_The performance takes place. It goes…better than expected. Everyone's actually in time and on key for once. And one of the end scenes is a very touching sequence between Mei and Yuzuru. How lovely._

**Kris: **_(smiling) _That went well

**Tamaki: **Now what?

**Kris: **We continue…

**Ryoga: **_6) Kyoya must continue to wear the clacky shoes, and compete on "America's Next Top Model". If he doesn't win, the shoes will be super-glued to his feet._

**Kyoya: **I _Knew_ that was coming!

**Kris: **Get clacking, Clacky.

**Nobody: **_(laughs)_

**Kris: **Her har. T.T

**Kyoya: **_(has already left)_

**Tamaki: **_(turns on TV) _He'll be on soon.

_Sure enough, onto the set of ATM walks Kyoya in his clackies._

**Tyra Banks: **A gender confused man seems to be on the set…sorry but the competitors must be female only…

**Clacky: **_(lostthegame)_

**Kris: **Good thing the clackies are already glued to his feet.

**Ryoga: **_7) Nekozawa must dress up as Lady Gaga and perform "Poker Face". Just like the music video too!_

**Nekozawa: **_(gets doe up like Lady Gaga with black clothes and mask) (rises up out of water) (starts singing poker face and dancing with prop men (Tamaki, Mori, Arai, Kasonoda, Alvin and Kyoya in the Clackies)) (they play strip poker and really get into it)_

**Kris: **O.o Okay, okay that's enough, guys!

**Tamaki:** Heh? _(mid-strip)_

**Ryoga: **Moving right along… _8) "Orpheus in the Underworld" was a huge success, and the audiences loved it. However, they demand an encore of the Cancan. The Cancan girls are as follows: Clackyoya, me, Kasanoda, Belzaneff, Nekozawa, Kris, Jaki, and Tamaki. Don't worry, it's already choreographed. But it's going to be played at an inhumanely fast tempo, so if you stumble, you will inevitably fall into the orchestra pit, and so you will have to pay for any damages you may have done. Keep in mind, all the string instruments are Stradivariuses.  
_**Kris: **I thought we were done with this .

**Kyoya: **Apparently not…

**Razz: **Haha

_The eight dancers are then whisked away into the backstage change rooms to get into their costumes. Which happen to be traditional Cancan showgirl dresses. That's right. While the dresses look quite nice and womanly on Principessa, Jaki and Kris (the females), they just look disturbing on Kyoya, Kasonoda, Nekozawa and Tamaki (the males). As for Belzenoff, well…it's hard to explain (the puppet). They are also wearing clackies._

_A minute before the performance, Kyoya, Principessa, Kasanoda and Belzenoff are standing in the stage's west wing, while Nekozawa, Kris, Tamaki and Jaki are waiting in the other one. The crowd cheer as the performers run on stage and the music begins. _

_At first it is easy. The eight performers simply link arms and do the typical cancan high kicks. Then the music gets faster, and the group breaks off into partner work._

**Jaki: **"…partner…work…"

_This is where the trouble starts. Kyoya is romantically waltzed across the front of the sage by Tamaki, out of time with the quickening music. Nekozawa and Kasonoda have abandoned the stage all together and are frolicking up and down the isles hand in hand. Jaki is chasing Belzenoff around the orchestra pit. Principessa and Kris simply stand central upstage, while doing the Macarena._

_After a couple of minutes of this, the group reassembles and goes back to the initial leg kicking movement. However, the music has gotten so fast, that this is no longer humanly possible. Kasonoda makes a misstep, sending himself, and the seven other dances into the orchestra pit._

**Audience: **_(standing applause)_

**Dancers: **_(on top of lots of people)_

**---One Hour Later----**

**Kris: **It's over!!!!!

**Jaki: **For now…

**Kris: **For now…

**Ryoga: **_9) Ranka, get a haircut. A manly haircut._

**Ranka: **_(gets a haircut—a Chuck Norris haircut)_

**Everyone: **o.O

**Ryoga: **_10) Hunny, give me a huge hug_

**Hunny: **_(gives Principessa a hug)_

**Ryoga: **_11) Nekozawa, you must burn Belzaneff, and scatter the ashes across the globe._

**Nekozawa: **But why?!

**Haruhi: **It's just a puppet…

**Nekozawa: **True… _(burns Belzenoff and scatters ashes across world)_

**Everyone else: **He'd do it so easily? O.O

**Nekozawa: **_(creepy smile) _I have a draw full of him…

**Everyone: **o.O

**Renge: **TAUSEND HUNDERT NEUNZIG!!

**Ryoga: **_12) Hikaru and Kaoru, annoy Renge to the fullest extent possible. Make her into Medusa._

**Twins: **_(BOTH dress up as Renge and approach her)_

**Renge: **_(still dressed as a gorilla) _TAUSEND HUNDERT EINUNDNEUNZIG!

**Twins: **We are Renge!!!

**Renge: **STOP IT!

**Twins: **_(raspberry)_

**Renge: **_(becomes Medusa)_

**Twins: **Eeeep! _(run)_

**Ryoga: **_13) I have seen fit to end your first part of misery, Renge. Your second was Hikaru and Kaoru. Now your third. Since you are now Medusa, Percy Jackson (from Percy Jackson and the Olympians) will arrive on Blackjack the Pegasus, and attempt to slay you. If you survive, you have more coming to you._

**Renge: **Huh?!

**Percy Jackson: **_(arrives on Pegasus) _Slaying time :D

**Renge: **Eeeep! _(runs)_

**Ryoga: **_14) Haruhi, since you have been taking voice lessons from me all this while, you are now an amazing singer, just like me. Now, you must sing Lene Alexandra's song "My Boobs Are Ok," while it is broadcasted to every single household on the face of earth, and in front of the entire Host Club fanbase. Have fun!_

**Haruhi:** I would be glad to do that. After all, my boobs _are _okay.

**Twins: **_(snort)_

**Haruhi: **_(glare) (begins singing for the whole world)_

_hello .. _

_my boobs, my boobs, my boobs are okay. _

_My boobs, my boobs, my boobs are okay!_

**Everyone: **_(snicker)_

**Haruhi: **_(continues) _

_I'm lazy, admit it. Work is not for me. _

_Busy doing nothing, I'm a beauty queen. _

_I don't coo, I don't clean, they do it for me. _

_[ I'm such a stupid girl ] _

_I keep my religion in a Gucci purse. _

_Ohmygod, I just forgot rest of this verse. _

_Who cares, I never passed junior high. _

_It was so hard .. so not! _

_My boobs, my boobs, my boobs are okay. _

_My boob , my boob , my boobs are okay! _

_And no matter what you say, I know they're okay. _

_My boobs are okay!! _

**Everyone: **_(applaud) _Why didn't she sing like that earlier in the piece?

**Haruhi: **_(bows)_

**Hikaru: **Whatever keeps you happy, Haruhi _(wink)_

**Haruhi: **_(glare)_

**Ryoga: **_15) Mori must replace Usa-chan with a creepy doll, and pretend that Usa-chan wanted to play dress-up and ended up like that._

**Mori: **_(does so when Hunny isn't looking) (quickly hides from the incoming wrath)_

**Ryoga: **_16) Hunny cannot touch Mori._

**Hunny: **_(looks at creepy doll)_ what happened to you, Usa-chan? Where's Takashi?

**Ryoga: **_17) Razz, sing Pitbull's "I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)."_

**Razz: **What?! I have to sing?!

**Kaoru: **Haha! This is what you get for not being in the opera!

**Razz: **I don't wanna sing

**Kris: **Just imagine you're doing singstar or something…

**Razz: **Fine! _(grabs microphone and starts)_

_6 to tha clock, on my way to the top uh,  
Pit got it locked from brews to the locker,  
All I.P uh, big and packer,  
That he's not, but damn he's hot,  
label fly but Pit wont stop,  
got her in the car, quit playin' with his (Como?)  
watch him make a movie like Alba Hitch Hock, ha Enjoy Me  
I know you want me (want me)  
you know I want cha (want cha)  
I know you want me  
you know I want cha (want cha)  
I know you want me (want me)  
you know I want cha (want cha)  
I know you want me  
You know I want cha (want cha)  
one-two-three-four  
Uno-do'-tres-cuatro  
Rumba (Si)  
Ella quiere su Rumba (Como?)  
Rumba (Si)  
Ella quiere su Rumba (Como?)  
Si es verdad que tu ere guapa,  
Yo te voy a poner gozar  
Tu tiene la boca grande  
dale ponte a jugar (Como)  
one-two-three-four  
Uno-do'-tres-cuatro (Woooo-ooo!)_

**Everyone: **_(applaud)_

**Razz: **_(bows)_

**Ryoga: **_18) Kris, find a way to let me see my boyfriend more often than twice a year, since he goes to college in Arkansas, and I go to college in Washington D.C. Please._

**Kris: **Hmm…I don't know much about American Geography…What if you both went to a Uni in Massachusetts?

**Kaoru: **Pffft. That isn't even in America…

**Kris: **Yeah it is.

**Kaoru: **Shut up .

**Jaki: **"….…"

**Ryoga: **_19) Jaki, you are still blindfolded, what the hell are you doing reading this over Kris's shoulder!?!_

**Kris: **She ate the blindfold…

**Jaki: **=3

**Everyone else: **o.O

**Ryoga: **_20) Kyoya, put your computer skills to something useful for once! If you can't figure it out, then Tamaki will smash it with an aluminum baseball bat._

**Kyoya: **Uhh…about that…I kinda threw my computer into the ocean

**Tamaki: **_(nods sagely)_

**Ryoga: **_21) Benio, you may not in any way, shape or form, attempt to contact Haruhi for the rest of the entire chapter._

**Benio: **_(is still cleaning the props from the performance) (sucked in)_

**Ryoga: **_22) Renge, if you have survived Percy's onslaught (I highly doubt that) then you must go crawl under a rock, and write letters to everyone who has made an appearance in this chapter telling them how you really feel. Then come out, deliver them, and allow them to inflict any punishment they want. You mustn't make a sound throughout. If you survive this, it's a miracle._

**Renge: **_(is still running from that scary Percy) (crawls and hides under rock) (begins writing to many many people) _Dear Tyra Banks…

_This will take a while…_

**Ryoga: **_23) Hikaru and Kaoru must sing "Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)" incessantly at the top of their lungs to Tamaki, and must continue for the rest of the chapter._

**Twins: **_(walk over and grab Tamaki)_

**Tamaki: **CAN'T TOUCH THIS!! _(breaks out into dance)_

**Twins: **_Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh  
Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh  
Give it to me baby, uh huh, uh huh_

**Tamaki: **CAN'T TOUCH THIS!!

**Twins: **_And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy~~_

**Ryoga: **_24) Tamaki's grandma, you can get your ** to my house and scrub every inch of it till it sparkles. **._

**Tamaki's granny: **Me? Clean? I'll show you how to clean, alright! _(marches over to Principessa's house and starts cleaning)_

**Hunny: **She can clean? O.o

**Tamaki: **Yes. Apparently she was quite the cleaner back in the day. She was 'Sadie the Cleaning Lady'

**Twins: **_AND ALL THE GIRLIES SAY I'M PRETTY FLY FOR A WHITE GUY!'_

**Tamaki: **Shut up!

**Ryoga: **_25) Tamaki, truth: do you really think that the relationship you have with Haruhi is purely that of a father-daughter?_

**Tamaki: **Ofcorse. Haruhi is my daughter.

**Ranka: **No she isn't, you insolent fool!

**Tamaki: **Who cares! My feelings for her are fatherly!

**Kyoya: **Then why do you imagine romantic scenes with her?

**Tamaki: **Because…because that's none of your business! _(emo)_

**Ryoga: **_26) Hunny, you're not getting off easily! Take my mythology encyclopaedia (it's about your size and weight, approximately), and follow the closest person around, reading a myth to them. When you come upon another person, you must follow them, reading a completely different myth. This cycle will continue._

**Hunny:**_ (takes encyclopaedia over to Kasonoda and Alvin) (starts going on about the Greek's take on the creation of the world)_

**Kasonoda and Alvin: **o.O ORLY?

**Hunny: **Ya, RLY

**Kasonoda and Alvin: **O.O

**Ryoga: **_27) Usa-chan, beat the ** out of Belzaneff._

**Usa-chan: **_(grabs a Belzenoff doll and does so) (after effectively mutating the puppet, Usa-chan decides he/she harbours great feelings for it) (Usa-chan glomps it)_

**Whomever might be watching: **._.

**Ryoga: **_28) Kyoya- you are now the slave of the person who is standing right in front of you. You will be that person's slave until someone else comes, and pokes you in the eye. Then you are that person's slave. The cycle continues._

**Hikaru: **_(is standing in front of Kyoya) _Yippie!

**Kaoru: **_(pokes Kyoya in the eye) _He's mine now!

**Jaki: **"…mine…now…"

**Hikaru: **_(pokes Kyoya in the eye) _Naaarrr

**Kaoru: **Not yours _(pokes Kyoya in the eye yet again)_

_This process continues until Kyoya runs away from having painful eyes_

**Twins: **Where he go? O.O

**Tamaki: **I wanted a turn of him being my slave!

**Twins: **_AND ALL THE GIRLIES SAY I'M PRETTY FLY FOR A WHITE GUY!'_

**Tamaki: **Hahaha, shut up T.T

**Ryoga: **_29) Haruhi, you are now a Pokémon._

**Kasonoda: **Haruhimon!

**Haruhi: **Yippie! Hey, what's that sound outside? It sounds like a countdown…

**Razz: **It's the New Years countdown!

**Kyoya: **I find it hard to believe this chapter took place over a space of only a few hours…

**Kris: **Everyone outside for the fireworks!

_Everyone runs outside and gathers at the beach_

**Absolutely everybody: **5, 4, 3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

**Fireworks: **KABLOOEY!

**Everyone: **_(watching fireworks)_

**Ryoga: **There's still one more dare!

**Kris: **Read!

**Ryoga: **_30) Charliechick, I am begging you to PLEASE update sooner!_

**Kris: **Well…it _is_ a new year. And you know what I read on a sticker once: "New Years bring new beginnings"…

**All: **_(watch as Tamaki's granny appears underneath the fireworks, declaring her undying love for Kaoru and chasing him all over the beach, rousing random spectators)_

**Kris: **I have decided I will try to update this as much as possible. More than once a month if I can. But that means putting restrictions on dares, so a maximum of five dares per chapter per person. That will make it much easier for me to post regularly. Clear, everyone?

**Everyone: **_(nod)_

**Mei: **Why is she asking _us_?

**Chicka: **_(shrugs)_

**Tamaki: **Happy 2010, everyone!

**Razz: **Be sure to submit your dares!

**Kris: **And look forward to chapters to come!

**Kyoya: **Oh Gods, no…

**Kaoru: **_(runs past) Nooooo…_

**Tamaki's Granny: **Come back here, you denying rascal!

**Le Fin. For now…**


End file.
